The Man I Used to Know
by RebelPrince204
Summary: John Shepard and Kaidan Alenko went through all sorts of hell together to stop Saren. And now, after two years of believing John dead, Kaidan finds he works for Cerberus. A story told from the perspectives of their different companions.
1. Miranda Lawson: The First Meeting

After everything we did, the Collector ship was still disappearing, taking off and flying up into space, no matter how many times the defense turrets shot at it.

I cursed to myself. It may have been better then any previous result, but the Illusive Man expected the best. He put me on it, after all. Made for perfection, grew to expect it.

To my left, I saw Shepard's face grimace into a mask of disappointment. I didn't blame him: Our mission was to stop the Collectors, and we hadn't. We'd dealt them a blow, thanks to Mordin's countermeasures and the Illusive Man's intelligence, and we'd engaged them, knew their potential in a direct fight. Came out on top, no less. But our mission wasn't complete: There could still be another Horizon, or Freedom's Progress.

"No!" It wasn't Shepard who called out at the retreating Collector ship. It was the voice of that cowardly shipping worker who locked himself right after when we first saw that odd Collector general. He ran in front of us, shaking his fist at the ship, calling out names of people I imagined were colonists loaded on board.

"How can you let them get away?" The man wheeled around and turned towards Shepard.

"I'm sorry." Came Shepard's response. He always took everything on himself. The consummate diplomat, always the peacemaker. Admirable, but naïve: The Reapers didn't show a shred of mercy. But sometimes, it did get results, like it did with the quarian on Freedom's Progress.

"Shepard, we did the best we could." Garrus Vakarian consoled as he put his sniper rifle away. That he was the mercenary Archangel in the Illusive Man's dossier was a complete coincidence, but it ended up being more helpful than I could imagine: Their shared history put Shepard more at ease, and the two were a fierce pair together. The pair of them were better then an entire asari commando unit.

"Wait, Shepard?" The shipping worker turned around. He hadn't heard of him?

"That's right, that's Commander Shepard." From behind some of the landing pad's storage crates came a voice, and then movement. I was ready to unleash my biotics, but the man that came out from the movement was not armed.

Tall, black hair. I hadn't met him personally, but I knew who he was: Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko, with the Alliance. The Illusive Man had mentioned in his report that he was here on Horizon. An outreach program was the official story, but I was certain it wasn't. More then likely, the Illusive Man fed the Alliance information about Shepard.

"John Shepard. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel, and champion of the Alliance. A living legend, Delan, or a legend, at least." The dock worker, Delan, muttered some dismissive comment and stormed away from us.

Kaidan strode towards Shepard, not missing a step. Once they were close enough, he extended his hand for a handshake.

"Shepard. It's good to see you again." His face beamed as the two men shook hands. Even I thought the whole thing was a little cute.

"It's good to see you, Kaidan, you look well." Shepard was overjoyed, the enthusiasm in his voice was one I thought reserved for children.

"What happened, Shepard? After the Normandy was destroyed...we thought you were dead. All of us did." Kaidan's tone changed from his level, but friendly, to one with more hesitation and worry. I could already sense this not going well.

"Shepard, we..." I was moving to end this conversation, but neither of the two men seemed to hear me.

"Two years, Shepard. Two years I thought you were dead. Why didn't you try to contact me? Or Anderson? Or...anyone?" Pleas, not accusations. Worry, not anger.

"I didn't have an opportunity, Kaidan, I was barely conscious for most of it while Cerberus brought me back." The second Shepard said the name "Cerberus", I saw all the color drain from Commander Alenko's face. Figured. Every time an Alliance marine heard "Cerberus" they thought terrorism, racism, a real slew of awful things. As if those like Saren were paradigms of racial and moral virtue. They didn't bother to try and understand the real complexities of the world, how the other races could turn at any time, just as the Council did when Saren was accused the first time. Sometimes, the future of an entire people depended on sacrifices, and doing the things that may not seem right at the first thought. Sometimes, the path forward was one through the mud.

"So...the rumors were true." He took a few steps back, away from Shepard. "You're with Cerberus now."

"Shepard, you saw what Cerberus did was doing with those rachni, and those Thorian Creepers. Admiral Kahoku, and your unit, on Akuze, the thresher maws! How can you work with for them?" His brow furrowed. Indecision? Surprise? Probably both of them.

"You've seen what's been going on, Kaidan. Freedom's Progress, Ferris Fields, New Canton. All of them are being hit and harvested by the Collectors! Hundreds of thousands of people gone! Cerberus is the only one trying to save them! The real threat is the Reapers, not them."

"And where are the Reapers? I've seen those Collectors, you call them, and they're nothing like Sovereign, or the geth, or anything. What if Cerberus is playing you?"

"Kaidan, you're reaching. The Collectors attacked us as much as they attacked you. Cerberus didn't cause this problem." Garrus supported Shepard, who didn't answer right away.

_When the turian is saying Cerberus isn't wrong, that should give you thinking points. _

"What happened to you, John?" Kaidan's teeth gritted together, and he avoided looking the man in the face anymore.

"I haven't changed, Kaidan."

Kaidan let out a slight exhale, and he looked down at the ground. "I don't believe you."

"It doesn't have to be this way, Kaidan. I'm on a mission to help humanity across the galaxy, and I could really use you here." Shepard's tone took a more pleading tone, and I knew I'd have to diffuse it. He was an extremely talented biotic and squad leader, that was for certain, but he was too willful: He couldn't be bought, bribed, or signed on for the thrill of the challenge: He'd jeopardize the mission.

"I'm too Alliance to work with terrorists. I've got to get back to them, now." Kaidan, fortunately, dismissed it handily enough. I had no desire to convince him otherwise. Kaidan turned his back on Shepard, and began to walk away.

"Take care, Shepard." Using his informal last name, Kaidan spoke one last sentence before disappearing.

"Kaidan!" Shepard called once again, but nothing. We were alone on Horizon's spaceport. The Collector ship had gone. It was just the three of us. Shepard's shoulders slumped while Garrus put a supportive hand on his shoulder.

I started to file a report with EDI: There were plenty of tasks to complete now: Gaining samples that could be useful for Mordin, operatives to monitor the colonists to anticipate any future complications due to the swarms. We may not have defeated the Collectors now, but the mission was not a failure, we could still stop them with the right tools.

I turned back to look at Shepard, who had turned back around to face me.

"Miranda, I think we've done all we can here. We should get back to the Normandy." His tone was level, he sounded like the same Shepard he always was. But I could see the slight bend in the corner of his mouth, and how his eyes didn't lock directly with mine, but just slightly downward. Disappointment: I'd seen that enough to recognize it. About Horizon, or Kaidan?

"Understood. Commander." I'd mention the meeting in my report. The Illusive Man had to be the one to tell Shepard to put Kaidan out of his mind. I was under Shepard's command, after all. But I would bring it up with Yeoman Chambers while Shepard was in his mission briefing. Helping with the psychology of the crew was one of the reasons she was here. Let her remind Shepard that Commander Alenko was safe from Collectors, and he'd be safe until after the mission was over. If it still mattered, it could have been done after the mission was over.

I finished cataloging with EDI as the Kodiak came down, and Kaidan Alenko was just a blip in my memory. Hopefully, soon he'd be the same for Shepard.


	2. Karin Chakwas: Hangover Conversations

It was the best bottle of Serrice Ice I'd ever had. Bar none, no exceptions. I never expected John to actually pick one up on Illium, but when he had that slight laugh on his face as he held the bottle up for me to see, I couldn't help but be surprised. Slightly chilled, too. At least Cerberus never scrimped for funding, I could say that much.

I only scarcely remembered sharing it with the Commander. Brandy didn't have the burn of other alcohol, so I always drank it just a little too fast, but I did remember letting all my feelings out. And that embarrassing praise I had for him. The immovable center, I remembered calling him. A shield from the storm of Collectors and Reapers and who knew what else in the galaxy. I sounded like the awkward nerd asking the quarterback to prom. It made the Commander laugh, though. And blush, although that might have been the booze.

He came to the medical office the next day: I had told him I wanted him to drop by and ensure his cybernetics were still healing, but I knew they were. He was still a diplomat, and damn near the most virtuous man I'd ever met. Peaceful thoughts helped the skin heal, and now I could only see the slightest bit of lines on his face. Truly, I just wanted to thank him again.

"It was nice, I really enjoyed it." I still remembered the Commander smiling, and laughing with me. Or at me, but I suppose a drunk old woman could be very funny. At least, if my memory was correct and I did an impersonation of the late Corporal Jenkins.

"I never realized how good it felt, to talk with an old friend. But what about you, Commander? Everyone's asking the world of you." As if I didn't know it. When I'd received the offer from Cerberus, I could tell what it entailed, and how impossible the mission was supposed to be.

"I only care about stopping the Collectors, and saving our colonists." He was so grand, when he spoke. Always concerned for everyone else: He listened, he offered advice. Kept a steely calm that cleared the mind and made one believe that any problem could be fixed. He could charm a volus for his last credit, but he'd never take advantage of it. But he so rarely talked about himself. He was the leader, he had to be strong. Everyone counted on him, even Miranda, as much as she'd never admit it.

But as good as he was at speaking, his face betrayed him sometimes, just as it did for most men, although they usually didn't have cybernetic scars enhancing the lines to help me pick out the details. Shepard had a lot weighing on him, and in this downtime on the Normandy, when I was checking his cybernetics, I could see his unfocused eyes staring past me at the wall, and the way his arms hung limply at his sides.

"Maybe we should take this to Mordin's lab. I saw him destroying the surveillance bugs the last time I was up there. Too bad he's wrapped up in all of the samples from Horizon." John's mouth twitched just as I mentioned "Horizon."

"Commander? What's on your mind?" I was polite, but firm. He took the whole galaxy, and all of it's problems on himself. Miranda's sister, Tali's trial, even my little bottle of brandy, John was always there to assist. I should be able to take a problem from him.

"Back on Horizon, I ran into Kaidan. It didn't go very well." He leaned against the wall. I heard about that, but not from Shepard. I hadn't kept much in contact with him after the destruction of the first Normandy, we all drifted apart. I went to Mars, and Kaidan didn't follow. But in the short time we had seen each other, he was devastated when he thought Shepard was gone. Everyone was.

"Not well?" I took a small step towards him. He elaborated, what was said planetside, and the additional bit of information he'd received after from speaking with the Illusive Man. Apparently, he released the rumor that Shepard was alive, and working with Cerberus.

"How did you react, Dr. Chakwas?" Shepard asked. "When you found out I was alive? I remember what you said about stability, but...how did you react then, when you first heard it?"

"Surprise, of course. But after that wore off, I knew I had to come here. And I wouldn't have it any other way." My response was obviously very different from Kaidan's.

"Commander, I don't know all of the details of what Cerberus did to you, but it had been two years since the Normandy was destroyed and you were lost. Two years changed all of us in many ways: Garrus disappeared and became Archangel, you've just told me Liara's an information broker on Illium. But all of us had to accept for two years that you were gone, just like Ashley." John looked down at the ground when I mentioned her.

"It really doesn't seem like that long ago. I guess that's what happens when you're mostly unconscious for those two years. It seems like only yesterday when Kaidan and I met her on Eden Prime." I remembered John staring out the observation deck at Virmire, watching the salarian nuke detonate, destroying the cloning facility and everything inside it, including Ashley. Just like now, he couldn't focus when not on a mission. Back then, neither could Kaidan, and the two men spent a lot of time together. They'd spend our travel time between planets maintaining the Mako and other onboard tasks they didn't really need to do. Just staying busy, never being alone. I never interrupted it, but I could see how much it helped both of them.

"He just needs some time to think things out. From what you've told me about Horizon, it certainly wasn't the time to think about deep thoughts."

"Yeah. It wasn't." John was silent, for a time, but he looked a little better. I could swear I saw one of the scars in his face healing over. Those two would be old friends again, after the mission was over. It may have been considered a suicide mission, but so was Ilos, and that one went with nary a hitch.

I wanted to tell the Commander that, but he picked himself off the wall.

"I should get back, we'll be arriving soon at Pragia."

"Goodbye, Commander. Thank you again for the brandy. We should make the brandy our new tradition. I'll be the one treating you next year, I promise." The commander smiled, without the booze this time to make him feel good, and headed out of the med bay towards the CIC.

Pragia. According to EDI, it was a planet where Jack said she was raised and experimented on. An insult to medicine and science if there ever was one, and Shepard was more than willing to take Jack to the facility and give her closure, if it meant focusing on the mission.

The mission, the only time John ever focused. Not thinking about Ashley, or Kaidan. Just what was in front of him. He'd burn out, if he kept doing that. But hopefully, the single second I forced him to take for himself would make him realize the humanity he was fighting to save.


	3. David Anderson: The Mission

"Why not Shepard?" I asked the Council as I paced back and forth in front of their transmissions. "He would know a lot about that. And his status as Spectre was reinstated."

"Given the Commander's ties to Cerberus, the Council feels that may not be prudent. The information in that base could be highly dangerous in the wrong hands." Councilor Tevos, ever the diplomat, gave her refusal.

"In addition, he has not reported in that he has finished investigating the disappearing colonists in the Terminus Systems." Valern's argument made a bit more sense, I hadn't seen or heard from Shepard since Commander Alenko mentioned him in his report on Horizon.

"I'll have to speak with Admiral Hackett." Anything to stall for a little time.

"The Special Tasks Group is still doing reconnaissance, but we cannot wait much longer. Please let us know as soon as you can." Tevos concluded before the Council's transmission finished.

_At least it was me here, and not Udina. How many ways could this have gone wrong with him around. _I took a seat back at the desk when the door opened.

"Anderson." It had only been a few weeks since I had seen Commander Alenko, when he was briefed on Horizon, but by the look on his face, it could have sure fooled me. Bags under his eyes, and his cheeks were thin. A biotic's metabolism was so much higher then a normal person, if they hadn't been eating or were under a lot of stress, it showed almost immediately. He looked like the parents of a fallen soldier did at his funeral.

"Commander Alenko." He shook my hand firmly, looked me in the eye.

"Good to see you again, Anderson. I got here as fast as I could." His dutiful demeanor almost made me forget he looked like the morning after shore leave.

"Glad to hear it. A situation has come up, and I'd like you to handle it." I stood up from the desk.

"I'm ready for anything, Admiral. What is it?"

"STG has uncovered information about a research base in the Attican Traverse, run by ExoGeni."

"ExoGeni? You mean, like on Feros?" Kaidan's brow furrowed.

"STG has determined that the research there is related to the Thorian. How exactly, we're not sure, they're just on intelligence gathering. However, they have reported gray, human-like toxic creatures."

"The creepers. I remember those back on Feros. They aren't human, no matter what they look like."

"We still haven't determined what exactly is going on there. However, it's looking like the base will need to be infiltrated to gather it's data. STG wants to bring in someone with experience against those creatures. The only times they've ever been fought was back on Feros."

"And I'm the only one you've got right now." He finished. True enough, although Alenko would have been one of my first choices. On Virmire, he'd already worked with STG once before, he'd be familiar with their protocol. He and Shepard were the only Alliance personnel who could claim that and Feros, and Shepard wasn't a choice.

"I'm up for it, Anderson. I was looking forward to my next mission anyway." Alenko never could say no to me.

"Perfect, I need to inform Admiral Hackett, but you should be leaving shortly. And good work on Horizon, before I forget to tell you. Keep this up, and 2186 will see you as a Major."

"Not sure I deserve it, sir. I didn't do that much on Horizon."

"You determined that the Collectors were responsible, didn't you? And you survived it." Alenko smiled only slightly. He wasn't fazed at all when it was rumored Cerberus was behind the colonies disappearing, but when the rumors came out that Shepard was with Cerberus, Alenko did his best to hide what he was thinking. I stationed him there to investigate the rumors, although he would have volunteered if I had asked. And the result was the shadow standing in front of me.

"Alenko, what happened on Horizon?"

"I don't think there's anything else I can tell you that isn't in my report, sir." Bullshit, the lot of it. I'd bet my finest bottle of Gold Label Erasa seeing Shepard on Horizon and with Cerberus bothered the hell out of him.

"I know you're upset about Shepard, and so am I. But you yourself confirmed it was the Collectors, not Cerberus, responsible for the abductions. If Shepard has to work with them to stop them and save those people, then that's what has to happen. You saw it yourself with Ilos." I cut straight through: Politicking language had it's uses, but damn if I didn't hate using it.

"But this is Cerberus. It's not like we were just doing it ourselves stopping Sovereign. It's a cabal of terrorists." Harsh, but not unfair. Cerberus's dark reputation wasn't ill-deserved.

"Commander." I didn't raise my voice, but I spoke more firmly. "You know Shepard well. The decisions he made when he was stopping Saren, you were there for all of them. He would risk his life to save those colonists a thousand times over, just like he did on Feros."

"Yeah." Alenko seemed to relax a bit. "He would. It was the first thing out of his mouth on Horizon, when he didn't save them."

"As long as he's just saving those colonists, then...then I can accept it. It may not be easy, but that's what I'm going to do. He's got his mission, and you have yours. There will be time enough for you two to give each other hell when you're finished."

"I'll...have to look forward to that. I'll drop by here in the morning. Farewell." It wasn't enough for Alenko, to think it was just about the colonists. Every little bit of a situation mattered to him: The old days of BaaT etched their mark on him like none other. It turned him into a hell of a soldier though.

* * *

><p>A week later, when Udina was in a Council meeting and I was wrapping up some business in his office, I received another visitor.<p>

"Anderson." Shepard didn't seem happy, and I knew what this would be about.

"Horizon." I filled it in for him. He didn't reply, but his eyes narrowed, and his mouth pursed together. Words weren't necessary.

"Shepard, I had no choice. You were working with Cerberus, colonies were disappearing. I brought you here to the Council to defend yourself to them, but that doesn't mean I support working with the Illusive Man."

"I don't work for the Illusive Man." Shepard replied quickly, almost too quickly. "He's not behind the disappearances."

"Until Horizon, I wouldn't have believed that. I wouldn't put it past the Illusive Man to manipulate you, Shepard. But Commander Alenko's report confirms those...Collectors, as the responsible."

"Why, Anderson? You let me come here to explain myself to the Council. They even reinstated me as a Spectre and are letting me investigate."

"A number of reasons, Commander. I needed to confirm whether Cerberus was involved or not, so I needed someone from the outside. And if it was the Reapers, as you said, I hoped Alenko would find some evidence to make the Council believe it."

"Did he?"

"No." Wouldn't that have made things easy. The rumor about an enigmatic insect race living behind Omega's relay could be easily believed with all of the corpses they left behind. But tying that to the Reapers? The Council didn't connect the dots when the wreckage of Sovereign was right in front of them.

"That's too bad. At least Kaidan got out okay, though. And half the colony." A small victory, and a slight smile from Shepard. It was more than anyone else could have accomplished.

"Shepard, I trust your judgment, but not Cerberus or the Illusive Man. I had to investigate and make sure you weren't a puppet in his plans. Take care on just how close you get to them."

"All right, Anderson." My answer didn't satisfy much: I didn't think it would. But Shepard seemed to grudgingly accept it.

"Kaidan's still on a classified mission, isn't he?"

"Not the same mission, of course, but yes, still classified. Significantly less dodgy then anything with Cerberus." Hackett fully supported the Council's mission, considering it a joint Alliance/STG operation, and that made it highly classified.

"It doesn't involve the Collectors again, does it?" Shepard looked at me with a slightly pleading look, and I shook my head. There was no harm in that knowledge. He sighed with relief.

"If you have to send him again, let me know first. I have a countermeasure that helps against one of the Collectors weapons against humans. That way, he won't get attacked by their swarms. I can get here before he'd be deployed: No one has to know." Alenko's report had made a mention of little bug-like swarms that injected some sort of toxin that paralyzed it's victims. Alenko managed to recover from it and used a biotic barrier to stop them from attacking him a second time.

"You worry about the Collectors, Shepard." I put my hand on his shoulder. "Alenko's on a mission best suited for his talents. He'll be fine."

"Yeah. I should get back to it. I'm helping one of my crew find his son while we are decrypting some data we recovered from one of their ships. He's with Tali right now chasing down a lead with C-Sec."

"Oh." I laughed slightly. Shepard may have been with Cerberus, but he was still the same person. If Cerberus couldn't change that, then maybe Alenko was overly cautious. Snapping a turian's neck at sixteen years old tended to do that.

"I'm glad I came in here today." I don't think I ever saw more relief on that man's face then I did at that moment.

"I'm glad you stopped by. It's good to know you're still around, Shepard." I shook his hand again, and he went out the door. Thankfully, Udina wasn't around to ruin the moment.


	4. Kirrahe: Pair of Cloacas

No movement from the base when Commander Rentola informed me the shuttle would be arriving. A specialist from the Alliance, experience in dealing with these creatures we've seen in the facility. Samples already determined that these creatures were more plant than animal.

_Like Tuchanka, although these don't seem to be carnivorous. _Vegetation on Tuchanka was often predatory, and these creatures certainly belonged there, but xenobiology studies never uncovered anything there like these.

I headed over to the landing pad as the shuttle had finished, and standing next to the pilot was the first bit of good news I'd had since I came to the facility.

"Lieutenant Alenko." I came forward and shook his hand: The human greeting, but one I was willing to make.

"Captain Kirrahe." He recognized me: Humans often had trouble telling one salarian from another without speaking or obvious physical deformity, and it was pleasing to know it wasn't the case with him. Then he corrected me of his new rank of Commander. He deserved it: Coordinating one of my teams during the assault on Virmire with skill almost unparalleled. All three teams with minimal causalities. Knew how to hold the line, and not be a cloaca, unlike some techs.

"You've fought these creatures before, I'm told." I escorted Commander Alenko to our operations base, where Commander Rentola awaited.

"Thorian Creepers." He gave me an official name. "They were created by a giant plant on Feros, a sort of...thrall, I guess you'd call it."

"We are nowhere near Feros." In the Attican Beta cluster, if I remember, a human colony was there. Samples brought? Reportedly, this facility was run by ExoGeni. Perhaps the remains of the giant plant studied here. Even autopsies could glean knowledge.

"Have you seen anyone other than the Creepers? Is anyone answering any official channels?"

"Only movement seems to be from Creepers, they only move when someone gets close. I've had snipers take shots at them silently, but that doesn't faze them."

"Yeah, when they're crouched down and hibernating, you won't get very far." Commander Alenko quickly informed. "You don't want to get too close to them, they swipe at you and spit poison, moves too slow to be blocked by kinetic barriers. And they explode when you kill them. Fortunately, biotics rip `em to shreds." Alenko's body glowed a bright blue for a brief second, and now I remembered he was quite the capable biotic.

"Then we'll infiltrate the base. Small team: You, me and Mirish. Get in quietly, and quickly. Gathered any data we can find. We can decrypt it later."

"What about science crew, or any other survivors?"

"If we find any, we interrogate them. However, those creatures are hostile, and I can't say for certain if anyone is even left alive. Gathering data on what happened here will probably be our mission."

* * *

><p>Perhaps these creatures sensed heat or movement, there was absolutely no way to sneak around them. It suited me just fine, though. Just as Alenko said, the Thorian Creepers were quite vulnerable to biotics. And sticky grenades. The Scorpion was a new pistol I'd been hoping to test out.<p>

Alenko caught two in a biotic field and detonated it, before quickly shooting a third in the head with his pistol. Mirish, our third, was a decent hacker and tech, he'd be in charge of getting into ExoGeni's systems. Twice the cloaca of Mordin Solus, though. At least if he was hacking, he'd be quiet.

Once we reached the door, Alenko and I took defensive positions while Mirish started to hack the door. There were still a number of the creepers around, and they only seemed to get more agitated when we reached the doors.

"Reloading!" A number of the creatures started to make their push as my thermal clip went to capacity.

"Got you covered!" Alenko biotically lifted a creeper and flung it into a trio of them, ripping them all in two, and causing the creeper-turned-rocket to explode into the ground.

"Mirish, whenever you are ready to open the door and not be a cloaca." I kept my eye on the Creepers as Alenko switched to his assault rifle, picking off the stragglers with quick bursts while I took care of the clusters of them with the Scorpion.

"Almost through." Mirish cracked the door, and it opened quickly. Alenko covered us while we moved our way inside.

"Just as skilled as always, Alenko, although this time, I see it for myself." It was two different things

"You had my back, Captain, and I had yours. Can accomplish a lot when you know that. And I think I learned how to hold the line from you." Alenko took the praise modestly. He then took point as we surveyed the base.

As far as I could see, I couldn't see any of the Creepers in the base, but I could hear movement of kind. Moved too fast to be the Creepers. Alenko heard it too, and kept completely silent, using hand signals. He checked the door next to him, and signaled back that it was clear. The next room was a laboratory, with dead Creepers on operating tables. Lots of dead humans too. I still heard movement around the base, but no one was in sight. I motioned for Mirish to start cracking the data, while Alenko and I looked at some of the corpses.

"Did you see anything like this in your previous missions against the Creepers, Commander?"

Alenko shook his head. "No. ExoGeni was studying a massive plant called the Thorian. It's dead and gone. Commander Shepard and I investigated a different colony in the Traverse where they raised the creatures to be docile, though, they went berserk after the Thorian died. But that was two years ago, these things couldn't just go berserk now, I don't think. We also...saw a few of them when we raided a Cerberus base." Anyone in the STG had heard of Cerberus, wildly pro-human organization considered by it's own species to be violent terrorists. But whether it was ExoGeni or Cerberus responsible for the Creepers here, the data extracted would answer that. No need to speculate conclusions.

"You and the Commander have had many missions together. I'm a little envious, actually. Independent cells for individual missions is STG policy."

"Lot changed between now and then, but yeah. Lots of missions together." Alenko didn't make eye contact, the first time ever with me. I knew all about Commander Shepard and Cerberus: Mordin Solus contacted me for some tech, that I provided, and I had feelers out looking into the disappearing human colonies myself. Shepard would have been the first person I sent information too. I owed him that much, just like I owed Alenko. And Chief Williams, may the wheel of life recognize her valor. Two years were longer to a salarian than a human, but I still remember that courageous woman's sacrifice vividly.

"I thought you should know, Commander, that it was I who recommended the Salarian Silver Dagger conferred to Chief Williams." Alenko's brow furrowed.

"I heard about that. Human or alien, we're all just animals. I don't remember if that's exactly what she said, though. I'm sure Ash is glad to know that she's held in high regard." Probably issues in Chief Williams's past, stigma regarding breeding or family, most likely. Anyone who served with her knew how capable she had been.

I heard movement again as Mirish continued to hack through security. The pitter-patter and uneven rhythm of footsteps. Not mechs, personnel. Alenko holstered his assault rifle and pulled out a pistol instead: Better for precise shooting. Just in time, as the doors opened and I was face-to-face with three humans with guns, with two unarmed in the back.

"Step away from that console!" One of the unarmed humans instructed Mirish. Alenko and I moved forward.

"Care to explain what you've been doing with humans and Thorian Creepers?" I didn't lower my gun: The Scorpion would have been imprudent in such close quarters, but it wasn't the only weapon I carried.

"We...we don't have to answer to you!"

"Care to answer to the Alliance, then?" Alenko stepped forward.

"We...no!" The armed men took aim with their rifles.

"You're with ExoGeni, aren't you? You're studying Thorian Creepers, and probably the mind-controlling spores. Am I right?" Alenko did not lower his gun.

"How did..." One of the unarmed people, a scientist probably, in the back stuttered.

"Jesus, Carter, shut up!" One of the guards yelled, looking towards a yellow-haired male with his hands up in a defensive position.

"Carter." Alenko addressed the timid voice. "The Thorian is dead, I should know, I was there when it was killed. I don't know what you're trying here, but when ExoGeni studied the Thorian, all it got were thralls under the control of an ancient plant and the creepers, creepers you clearly couldn't control if you were trapped in here. Are you lives really worth this research? How long would you have lasted if we hadn't shown up.

"Uhhh..." Carter's voice still stuttered.

"You're not weaseling out of this, Carter." All of the guards turned their attention away from me and Alenko and looked towards their supposed traitor. In a flash, Kaidan whipped a biotic field at the men's midsections, staggering them and making two of them drop their weapons. Weak grips, no idea how to hold them. Just went for an assault rifle to look intimidating.

"You have a choice. Turn over your data and come quietly. I'll make sure they know you cooperated, Carter. Just...let me help you."

"I...I wanna get outta here!" Carter shouted, and was probably about to cry. All of the people here were edgy, but hearing them speak made me wonder if they weren't just on stims, staying away to see if the Creepers would come in.

The Alliance would be called in to take care of these people: We'd already have the data, our mission was complete.

"It was a pleasure to work again with you, Commander Alenko." I shook his hand again.

"All mine, Captain." He would ride with the Alliance fleet and make his reports while there. Perfectly fine with me, I was headed back to Sur'Kesh anyway.

But I went back to the operations base, after Alenko and the fleet had both left, and connected myself with Sur'Kesh to report to my superiors. I didn't pay much attention to their responses, too much nonsense formalities. After I was finished, I connected myself to another old friend. This time, I connected to the Citadel.

"Well, Kirrahe. Finally worked that cloaca out of your head?" Jondum Bau, a former STG operative himself before Valern decided he was the best of the best and was given the role of Spectre. I didn't mind, he was a diplomat and agent both, and Spectre's needed to be both.

"You just wish your cloacas were this tough. I just finished a mission here in the Traverse, and I think I should tell you about a certain skilled someone."


	5. Mordin Solus: Can't Save Them All

"Shepard, pinned down at the door!" Miranda shouted into comm for Shepard. Pinned down at the door, wouldn't last long in this condition. Effective coordinating, both of them. Good choice to lead teams. Even good leadership wouldn't last long against too many Collectors. Needed barrier of doors for rest and reloading.

Deployed incendiary the second Zaeed brought down Collector barrier, bought us some time. Could hear doors open behind me: Shepard on it, accomplished. Knew how to get things down. Omega, Horizon, Tuchanka, was Spectre for good reason. Took cover behind door, and launched cryo grenade Collectors still vulnerable to snap-freeze. One sniper round later, Garrus shattered frozen Collector, force knocking over and distracting others. One by one, team slipped through door, quickly slamming shut when Miranda came last.

Took a slight hit as Samara had doors shut, nothing serious. Face flushed, she was fighting hard, injury didn't faze her. Not serious, could tell from glance.

"I'm ready for action, Commander." She told Shepard.

"Joker, EDI, what's the situation?" Shepard called into comm.

"Doctor Chakwas has just arrived, Shepard." EDI's electronic, tinny voice sounded in all of our comms.

"Kasumi, you got them out okay?"

"Few scrapes and burns, Shep. Nothing serious. I know a thing or two about staying out of trouble, if you remember Hock's party."

"I think you mean in trouble, but good. Have Gabby and Ken help EDI get the ship as operational as possible. We're almost finished here, and we'll be needing our ride out."

"I'd believe it. Suicide mission my ass. Kasumi out, Shep." Ended transmission. EDI informed of next course of action to main base facility, but Joker quickly noted Collector force hacking through the doors.

"We'll need a rear guard, keep them off our backs, I'll take a small team in. EDI, any idea what we can expect in the center of the base?"

"There is a massive energy reading emitting both organic and non-organic signatures."

"Mordin, come with me. Whatever it is, we'll need to find a way to quickly deal with it." He turned to me. Understood, sensible choice. Long protracted firefights like rear guard good for Kirrahe, not for me. Stepped on platform to accompany.

"I'll need someone with biotics too."

"I will be happy to assist." Samara volunteered. Strong biotic, calm in battle. Sensible choice.

"No, you stay here. Remember the stories you've told me about Morinth? If anyone has experience fighting a hoard of suicidal brainwashed puppets, it's you. Jacob, you come with me."

"Understood, Commander." Quick salute, then jumped on the platform.

"We've got your back here, Commander." Miranda nodded.

"Well, look at that smile, Miranda. And all it took was a suicide mission to the galactic core. Can't wait to see that one in an advice column on the extranet." Jacob teased Miranda.

"This isn't the time for jokes, Taylor." Her response curt, unsurprising.

"You couldn't hide your expression if you stuck your head in goddamn lava." Zaeed's metaphor interesting. Bravado, excitement, so very much like STG.

"We're getting out of here. The crew's getting the Normandy ready to go, and all we need to do is blow this damn base. So you can forget all this bullshit about a suicide mission. I brought the best and the brightest that the galaxy has to offer, and the Collectors couldn't do anything more then a few scrapes and burns. It's been one hell of a long journey, but it ends today for the Collectors. No longer will they be abducting colonists. No way are we letting the Reapers win! Grunt, Zaeed, Samara, take cover and mow them down when they come through. Miranda, coordinate their fire."

"There better be plenty of them, I've been waiting for this." Grunt pounded hands together.

"Thane, Legion, Garrus, snipe them. Jack, stay in back and pick them off with your biotics. Tali, flush them out with your drones right into the crossfire. We'll be finished arming the explosives before you know it."

"Better be one awesome explosion, and I ain't catching it from inside." Jack still mouthy, but respectful. Looked towards Commander with a nod, accepted orders. Influence of Shepard responsible. For much of team's cohesion. Wonder if team during mission to catch Saren this cohesive. Tali'Zorah and Garrus certainly, but not only team members.

No time now, perhaps later. Still needed to keep mind on task. Energy readings still massive. Could be...problematic. But working with Shepard. Had history of turning problems into solutions. No hyperbole, simple fact.

* * *

><p>Fetus? Larva? Still not certain best term to use to describe large Reaper construct. EDI determined injection tubes structural weakpoint, accurately targeted them.<p>

Shepard's decision to destroy Collector base actually quite surprising. Saved Maelon's data back on Tuchanka, even knowing where it came from humans forcibly experimented on. Perhaps Cerberus connection: Illusive Man certainly not ideal to give Reaper tech. Human xenophobia and militancy doesn't sit well with peacemaker, even if peacemaker would benefit. Jacob's response equally surprising. Resigining from Cerberus not usually option unless death. Cut transmission, handed Shepard explosive, then Reaper construct clawed it's way up and tried to attack. Between surviving suicide mission and Cerberus betrayal, Reaper less surprising. Destructive intent obvious.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Shepard dove for cover as the construct launched a wave of ionized energy from it's chest cavity. Clearly not.

"Ocular interface weak structural point, Shepard." Took cover myself, aimed for the eyes. Weakness of humans too, as well as most species. Good to see some standards applied even to Reapers. Determine where there eyes were, good study to undertake. Hard to find samples.

Fortunately, Reaper too large and lacked appendages to attack with anything that wasn't chest laser. Easy to avoid, slow moving target. Precise and accurate shots, not difficult.

When Reaper's face exploded, expected platform to destabilize. Jacob must have been too surprised to notice; he slipped. Shepard dove to save him as platform crumbled. Couldn't assist myself, could barely keep balance. Don't remember what happened next, fell unconscious, woke up to Shepard and Jacob assisting me.

"We've got to go, let's move. Joker, we need to get out of here." Shepard shouted into his communicator.

"Not far from your position, team's on board, just waiting on you." Heard comm, then saw seeker swarms. Broke out into run, countdown not long now.

"Hurry!" Heard Shepard from behind, kept running. Unknown estimate of seeker swarms behind, effectiveness of countermeasure impossible to determine.

Ran into large open chamber, saw Normandy hovering just above chasm on far side. Joker at airlock door with assault rifle. Bold for man with brittle bones. Real cloaca, good to have him. Kept running, leapt into airlock, turned around to watch for Shepard and Jacob.

Had to move back as collapsing platform nearly collided with Normandy. Missed ship, but destroyed launch pad. Shepard continued to run, leapt, and managed to grab the side. Offered assistance, got him safe inside.

With only a quick appreciation, Shepard turned around, calling Jacob's name. Saw him running, but then watched him take beam shot from Collector in the leg and fall. Turned around and gunned down Collector, but appeared in great deal of pain. Could not keep pressure on injured leg.

"Jacob!" Shepard called again. "Joker, steer the Normandy closer." Ordered, but would have been unable to comply, not enough vertical clearance to get to Jacob's position.

"Go, Commander!" Jacob shouted back. "I'm not gonna be able to get there."

"Bullshit, I'm coming to get you." Again, not sensible move, Shepard only made it to Normandy with running start and assistance: Less room for momentum, and no assistance on other side. And countdown almost finished. Never make it in time.

"It's been a honor, Commander. Now go!" Jacob saluted one more time, then turned around. Nothing could be done. Tragic, sad. Unfortunate. Airlock doors closed, Joker ran to pilot's seat as EDI started the ship. Shepard did not move from airlock. Not when Normady cleared Collector base, not when explosion could be felt even from inside ship. Not even when Omega 4 relay cleared, and in dock around Omega. Like statue in airlock, Shepard didn't move for what felt like eternity. Then, turned around, went to elevator. Not a word to anyone.


	6. Liara T'Soni: The Shadow Broker's Words

I think it was the piercing stare that first shocked me. Just after I regrouped with John and told him about Tela Vasir's true nature. She was the one who killed my contacts, my informants. And blew up an entire office floor just to kill him, and me.

John didn't say a word, not at first. But those eyes could have borne a hole straight through a dreadnought. His face grimace into a rage that, even when I was on the Normandy, I had never seen. He just moved, chased her like a bird of prey. He didn't speak until Vasir made her escape, when he chased after her with me. Shepard drove the skycar through the streets of Illium while I spotted for trucks and kept an eye on Vasir.

He cracked jokes with me, about how the skycab steered better than the Mako, no matter how much it had been tweaked. And about high-end collisions. My life may have changed drastically from archeology to information brokering, but I still preferred less explosions.

_You'd say that, wouldn't you. _Joking was a human response to danger, I learned. Joker, Ashley, even Kaidan sometimes. I guess John influenced me a lot, not that I minded. Even naïve archeologists had to see the realities of the world. Vasir's car crash-landed near a hotel, and it was just a game of follow the blood trail.

Eventually, we cornered her in an outdoor cafe, where she took a human woman hostage. I was prepared to hit her with my biotics regardless: I was too close to the Shadow Broker now, and there'd just be more victims if she got away: Spectres like Saren and Vasir cared nothing for innocent lives lost.

But John stepped forward, just as he always did when innocent lives were at risk.

"Thermal clips and power cells on the ground!" I wanted to pound that smug smile of Vasir's into the ground so hard the smear would take weeks to get out.

"You're a Spectre. You've betrayed the Council and your post working for the Shadow Broker." Cold, stern accusations. The kind John made when words were the only thing stopping a rage worse then three krogan in blood rage.

"Says the Spectre working for Cerberus." Vasir's retort made Shepard scowl again. "Our job is to keep galactic peace, and the Shadow Broker's intelligence has done that for me for years. Slavers on Aeoghr, who do you think tipped me off to stop them? If I need to ensure I still get that intelligence by taking someone out, then that's an easy choice."

"And blowing up an entire office park? That was an easy choice? You're insane."

"I think you should remember the positions we're in right now. You really want to put this woman's life at risk, Shepard?" Her focus was purely on Shepard: Most people looked at him when he was around: He was the famous one, the Spectre, with the commanding voice, and incredibly attractive. It was easy to watch him and forget everything else.

Like me. And when I seized the table with my biotics, I was still unassuming. Vasir only noticed me after I sent the table colliding into her, causing her to drop her gun and fall to the ground. In a flash, Shepard's pistol was trained on Vasir's head.

"You're safe, get away." He told the hostage, who scampered away quickly. Vasir, however, did not take the reversal of fortune lying down, and immediately attempted to use her biotics to fling herself forward at lightning speed at Shepard. He stumbled a bit, but didn't fall down.

"Kinetic shielding triggers at high speeds, Vasir." Even asari could panic. I'd seen biotic charges from Eclipse sisters on Illium a number of times. Brilliant psychological tactic, but not a perfect one. And John had faced Sovereign and Saren without batting an eyelash: He'd never be fazed by a simple display of impressive biotics.

John unloaded his pistol into Vasir as she staggered, stopping only when the thermal clip needed to be spent. Spitting up blood, she collapsed next to the railing. She'd be dead soon enough, and I rummaged her for the disk Sekat had procured. The one he was killed over. Hopefully, it wasn't damaged with all the abuse Vasir had taken.

"You...hypocrite, Shepard." Vasir couldn't do much more then talk, but she spit out her curses. Shepard glared at her without a word. I felt Vasir exhale her last just as I found the disk.

"We're running short on time. We need to strike before the Shadow Broker discovers this." I put the disk away and made my way back to our skycar.

"Liara." John called out to me, but I couldn't stop moving. The Broker's agents would be fighting now on Illium, but word would get to the Shadow Broker eventually.

"Hey!" Shepard called out again and grabbed my wrist.

"We have to move!"

"Liara, this isn't like you." Stern tone, almost like I was back home, at Armali, being lectured by my mother.

"A lot has changed in two years, John."

"So I've learned from Garrus and Kaidan, but how quickly you're willing to threaten and kill other people just to get your way."

"What do you want me to say, John? You think I wanted Sekat to be killed? That office park to be destroyed? I didn't do that. And I've spent two years fighting, and I've lost far too much. You, Feron."

"And I'm back. And we'll get Feron back too. But you can't become like Vasir, justifying the things that are wrong."

"I am not like Vasir. Or my mother, or anyone." I turned away from him. Those steel-blue eyes of his pierced me like I was naked in front of the matriarchs.

"Your mother was indoctrinated, Liara. You're in control of your own decisions, you always have been."

"I won't become either of them. The Broker must be stopped, he put the galaxy at risk for simple credits, would have sold your body to the Collectors. Just stopping him, and rescuing Feron, that's the only thing that will be done."

"All right, Liara. That's all I needed to hear you say. Now we can get going." John stepped back, and we walked back to the skycar.

* * *

><p>"Just like old times." I didn't agree with John's sentiment. Perhaps it was the location: We'd infiltrated a number of cargo ships and this ship was completely different. Or perhaps it was the geth with the sniper rifle expertly picking off our enemies. Odd as it was, it was very good with that rifle. Almost as good as Garrus.<p>

He made plenty of jokes and quips with me as my shunt tried to hack through the door. Of course there would be fewer guards inside the ship if they were coming out here to deal with us now. And they only sent a few small waves from one direction.

"Shepard-Commander, enemies massive in number. They are attempting a pincer formation." The geth, Legion was it's name, quickly took a more defensive position.

"Great, Liara, you gave them good advice."

"I doubt they'd coordinate that fast!"

"Spread singularities at chokepoints. Legion, hack as many mechs as you can, then make sure the other direction is clear until the mechs are destroyed." Gave quick, efficient orders, and I complied. So did Legion. That John could command the loyalty of geth was...nothing short of incredible. Next he'd say he united Tuchanka with Wrex, and I wouldn't have batted an eyelash.

My shunt did it's job, and John took care of dealing with the Shadow Broker's guards until it worked.

Once inside, John went in the lead while Legion provided expert cover fire. Synergy, that was the word. Everytime John was with me, I always seemed to be calmer, better at what I could do. I don't think my biotics were stronger, but...I felt more control over them, like I could do anything with them. Clearly, it was the same with the geth.

When I found Feron strapped to that machine, I was desperate to detach him, he was in clear pain.

"Shepard-Commander, the drell's biometrics are stable, but linked to that device. Security measures will activate if he is removed." Of course they'd be stable: The Shadow Broker was torturing him, and you couldn't torture a dead man. But if they were linked, I couldn't remove him without killing him.

"Liara, I'm sure there's a way to remove him from that safely in the Shadow Broker's office." Yes, there would be. John calmed me down, just as he always did.

"You can cut the power from the Shadow Broker's office." Feron willingly let himself get shocked to answer that question.

"All right. I can ask you questions when your brain isn't going to be fried." John took a second to reassure Feron that he would be rescued. The two had never met, and John was rescuing him. As admirable as he was on Therum. I'd changed, he hadn't. I wasn't exactly sure what Cerberus did to him, but that was Commander Shepard, no one else.

"Shepard-Commander, enemy forces in-route!" Legion took a defensible position by one of the consoles.

"Thanks, Legion." Gripping his assault rifle, John took cover next to a door frame. I threw a singularity through the door to strike the opposite wall. Easy pickings for John.

A yahg. I'd only seen one in pictures and vids, and I can't exactly say I was grateful to change that. It smugly spoke to us, about the mission to the Collector base Shepard had completed, how useful Legion would have been.

"I've come for Feron. And to deal with you." My biotics were at the ready.

"Have you? Seeking redemption? After all, you were the one who let Feron get caught. And Commander Shepard. Even for a man that has gone on numerous suicide missions, this is reckless even for you."

"You've tortured a man for no reason, had office parks blown up, and tried to sell my body to the Reapers. There's no other way for this to end."

"He's a yahg, Shepard, and this ship is older than first contact with them. I bet the previous Shadow Broker was visiting Parnack. And wanted a pet." Even with this being my first experience with a yahg, I could tell I incensed the creature, and it jumped up to fight, sending it's desk crashing at us. It collided with Legion.

It wasn't an easy battle, yahg were large and powerful. But John and I scattered and attacked from two different angles. John switched weapons from assault rifle, shotgun, and pistol so fast I would have thought he was juggling, and unloaded clip after clip into him. Then, he jumped on the Broker and stunned him with a punch.

I knew what to do next. I saw above the Broker in a glass tank was liquid nitrogen, a coolant for the systems.

"Get back!" I shouted. John complied after delivering another sharp blow to stagger the Shadow Broker. And then I blasted the tanks with a warp, pouring it all over the creature. It barely had time to scream before his barrier overloaded. And exploded. I may have preferred fewer explosions in my line of work, but I could make an exception for that one.

I wasn't sure what possessed me to take the Shadow Broker's resources at first. Utility? A desire to ensure someone else like the now deceased yahg would never arise. The power to turn the organization around, as Helena Blake claimed she'd do.

And then, it was over. That was it: Two years of work, and my task was completed. The Shadow Broker was dead. Feron was free.

I felt John's supportive hand on my shoulder, and it felt good, I thought I'd fall over.

"There is...there is still much to do. I've got so much to look into."

"It will be here, Liara. There's no user safe-guards at all. Why don't you come onto the Normandy? Just for a little while. I think you need it." My heart started to pound. Even if I was the Shadow Broker, I still felt like I'd just entered the maiden stage around John.

"Yes. Maybe...maybe that's a good idea."

* * *

><p>Shepard's cabin was called the loft, he had said. At least Cerberus gave him a room befitting of a commander, the savior of the galaxy, and not just some bunk like on the first Normandy.<p>

Before I had come to see him, I toured the ship. I spoke with Tali in engineering, and she seemed happy to see me again. She still became nervous when conversed about John, it seemed she still harbored the same deep feelings she always had, feelings he was utterly oblivious too. Garrus also seemed well, aside from the scars. Is that what John meant when he said two years had changed him? Doctor Chakwas greeted me warmly, and told me in secret she was glad Shepard invited me.

"He needs some time to himself, just not spending time alone." It seemed a bit of a paradox to me, but even with two years of information brokering, humans could still boggle me. And Joker was...Joker.

Once my tour was finished, I made my way to John's cabin. Two glasses of Thessia Red lie on the table for us. But I couldn't take my eyes of Shepard himself, in a stunning, tailored black suit.

"Thank Kasumi, she's the one that gave it to me." Looking at him like that, he didn't look like a soldier, he looked like the galaxy's most powerful businessman. In control of millions of lives and livelihoods that could be changed at his whim. Like the Shadow Broker. In a way, it was appropriate.

"It's been one suicide mission after another for you, hasn't it?" Missions on Horizon, the galactic core, and now to take out the Shadow Broker. He certainly never lacked for excitement

"It's a gift." He joked, but again, I saw his face twitch as he drank his wine.

"How have you been, John. Ever since you've been active, you've been scampering around trying to defeat the Collectors."

"Defeated. They're gone." While John's correction was accurate, it came out much too quickly, and without his normal humility.

"You are disturbed. Your mission did not go as you had hoped." I voiced my suspicions.

"No, it didn't." John was an incredible bluffer and charmer, and he could have made me believe everything was all right as we were plunging headfirst into a supernova. Either Thessia Red went straight to his head, or he didn't feel like pulling out the charms.

"John, that mission was supposed to be a suicide mission, and you survived it." The entire crew had been telling John that, so Garrus had said. John knew words well: They weren't very effective when used on him.

"But Jacob didn't." His shoulders slumped and John stared into his glass.

"I know soldiers die, Liara. I don't know how the Blue Suns and Blood Pack keep replacing their numbers after all the times I was facing them down. Jacob was under my command. I made him believe we'd succeed, and get through it. He was ready for the mission and everything it could throw at him. And I still got him killed." It was John's greatest insecurity, to lose someone he cared for. His home at Mindoir, Akuze, and confronting Corporal Toombs. Ashley. And now Jacob added to the stains upon his psyche.

I had to change the subject.

"Have you heard from Kaidan? I didn't see him on the ship." Which I found odd. Those two, and Ashley, were closer than simple allies-at-arms.

But Shepard's expression did not improve, and I wondered if I blew it again.


	7. Marie Durand: Discovery

I was enjoying a quick smoke with Ripley and Pithoi when the Lieutenant Commander came up to me.

"Staff Lieutenant Durand!" My name, and the new rank I was still a little unused to, was called, and I quickly saluted. Didn't matter how good a smoke tasted, it could wait until I was free to enjoy it.

"At ease." The Lieutenant Commander only ever demanded the appropriate salute, he didn't stand on protocol much.

"What may I do for you, sir?"

"I have your next assignment, Staff Lieutenant." He motioned for me to walk with him.

"Yes, sir."

"One of our listening posts has just gone offline. They're not answering any of our responses." It was a sad reality that happened more often then I'd care to admit.

"Do we know anything about who did this, sir?"

"No, Staff Lieutenant. There was no distress beacon sent, no communications. It's as if everyone just...up and left." Not a single message at all? What could wipe out an entire listening post so quickly? Even a station VI could send a general distress signal.

"I'll look into it, sir. Should I get my unit ready to deploy immediately?"

"No." The Lieutenant Commander shook his head. "We'll need a small team for this. You'll be the only going in your unit." Didn't like to leave my squad: Ripley, Pithoi and I had all been promoted after holding out back on Nepmos against those...what did Commander Shepard call them, rachni? Whenever I was in a tight spot, I always remembered the feeling I had when I saw those bug things reduced to slag by the mass accelerator cannon of that Mako. And I remembered when he came out of the tank and held the line with us against wave after wave of the beasts, then infiltrated the mines to bleed the entire nest, or hive, whatever they called it. Just to make sure we'd hold out until reinforcements came. It was love, or a quickie in the pre-fab shacks.

But I went where I had to, they'd understand, and they'd save my smokes for me.

"Who will I be working with, sir?"

"He'll be here any second. Staff Commander, so ranking officer." Damn, ever since Nepmos, things had been going my way. I took a second to clean myself up, and waited with the Lieutenant Commander.

When the Staff Commander arrived, I saluted.

"Staff Lieutenant Marie Durand. Promoted, I see. It's certainly been a while." The dark-haired ranking officer smiled slightly. I didn't remember the man's face, and I certainly remembered the men I'd like to shack up with. But then he spoke again, and the gears started to turn.

Kaidan Alenko. He'd come with Commander Shepard back on Nepmos. Low oxygen environment, so full combat suits.

"We head out immediately." Man of action, just like his Commander. I certainly wouldn't say no. I didn't sign up with the Alliance to sit around and wait, I wanted shit to get done. Shoot the bad guys, save the good guys. Be an idol to girls back home, and wet dreams for the boys. Living the dream.

* * *

><p>There was no one to greet us when we landed planetside at the listening post. Just like the Lieutenant Commander said, it was as if they'd just up and left. Planet itself was a garden world, so no need for any life support. I was looking at a ghost town.<p>

"Everyone's just...gone." Staff Commander Alenko puzzled as we looked for signs of damage, and there were none. No bullet holes, bodies, damage to buildings or other things like that.

We split up to take a look in two of the pre-fabs. Didn't find any clues in mine, but when I went to check on the Staff Commander, I saw him sitting at one of the terminals, going over security footage. He alternated between the console and his own omni-tool, and didn't even notice me until I took a step inside.

"Lieutenant, take a look at this." He still looked at the screen and indicated the security footage. From I could see, the listening post in the security footage was operating normally. Nothing unusual at all.

"I don't see anything unusual, sir." I reported what I noticed, or didn't notice.

"Look carefully." He slowed and replayed the footage. With the footage slowed down I could see just split-seconds of static every so often. Didn't seem to be a pattern, and I thought it was a slight equipment problem.

The Staff Commander continued to type furiously into his omni-tool, and I watched as the security footage began to change. What seemed to be a normal base turned into something else. I watched soldiers just going about their day, and then, all of a sudden, they seemed to...collapse and fall over. Like they'd all had seizures or something. I couldn't see any blood, so it couldn't have been snipers, and I didn't see flashbangs, concussive grenades, or anything like that.

"Bio-weapon? Gas?" The Staff Commander mused as he continued to work on the security footage.

"That's an incredible talent, sir." I would have never been able to figure that out.

"I worked with a quarian two years ago, she showed a few tricks with omni-tools." I don't think I'd ever seen seen a quarian before, much less worked with one. All I ever knew was they flew around in a bunch of ships.

"Hold on." The Staff Commander interrupted my thoughts. He started to review a certain segment of the footage very closely. It was a little blurry so I had to squint to make it out. There was a man standing in front of the unconscious soldiers.

"I'll magnify." He focused on the standing man. His face was covered with a helmet, so it would have been impossible to identify, but the Staff Commander stopped as soon as the camera was focused on the man's chest. He squinted, trying to make out something stamped on the man's chest. An emblem, a symbol? Was it the Blue Suns?

"Cerberus." The Staff Commander spit it out like it was a curse. Bunch of terrorists, couldn't blame him.

"Those terrorists, sir?"

"Yeah. What could they want here?"

"Sir, I heard a rumor that Cerberus was behind abductions out in the Terminus, sir." I didn't put much stock in rumors, but seeing this made it more than that.

"No." The Commander put up a hand to silence me. "I actually investigated that, Cerberus wasn't to blame for that. But still...what could they be wanting here?"

I figured that was as much as we'd get from this place: Cerberus wasn't known for sloppy work. But the Staff Commander didn't get up from the chair at first. His eyes were focused upon the Cerberus emblem. Not sure what else he'd get from that, all emblems did was was say who was wearing it.

"John...working with...someone like this." His voice was quiet, I barely heard him. John? Where'd I hear that name before.

Commander Shepard, his first name was John, not that many people used it. Savior of the Citadel, and the Council, first human Spectre. And dead, if I remembered correctly. Dead for two years. Missing in action in the Terminus Systems when the Normandy was destroyed. But...again more rumors, but...the rumor was that Commander Shepard was alive. And with Cerberus. Did Staff Commander Alenko confirm that one, too?

I tried to ask, but he didn't seem to hear me.

"How could you?" Soft again. But then he shook it off.

"We've gathered enough here. We'll get this report to Alliance Control and Admiral Hackett. Thank you for your assistance, Lieutenant Durand." I didn't do very much, just sat and watched. Felt like that a bit on Nepmos too, but at least the rachni ate some of my bullets.

When we made it back to base, the Staff Commander headed off to give his report, and I had a bit of downtime. Thought about turning the mission into a more interesting story with Ripley, but I couldn't think of one.

I ran into the Staff Commander again when I was in the mess, eating. Kept to himself, although he was a biotic, and everyone seemed to give biotics a wide berth. Some stupid story that said they could read minds. Knew better, but it still was a little creepy knowing, at any point, someone could crush you with their mind at any point.

"Staff Commander, did you determine anything else about that base." I made conversation, but I wasn't sure how much of the details were okay to share in a public place.

"I've got feelers out. An asari who works in information. If I find something, I'll know." He left out any mention of Commander Shepard, and I left it alone. I was a shitty talker, good for boosting morale but not serious talk. So I didn't press it. Whatever went through his mind was something I had no business mentioning.

"Hm." The Staff Commander looked behind me, at the screen on the wall. Only got Alliance News Net on it, with no sound. Quickly, he punched a few things into his omni-tool, and it came up on his screen.

"According to reports, the explosion was actually the result of the destruction of the system's mass relay." The firm voice of Emily Wong reported in a calm, logical manner. Never cared for the press, but she was okay.

"The explosion is presumed to have killed all of the over quarter-million inhabitants in the system. The Batarian Hegemony issued a statement stating that the Systems Alliance is responsible for the attack, and considers it an act of terrorism and war. Investigation is ongoing, but reports have been indicated that a high ranking Commander has turned himself in as responsible for the incident. The identity of this commander could not be confirmed..." The Staff Commander shut the omni-tool off.

"There's only one ship that could make it's way into batarian space undetected." His face darkened. I don't even think he noticed me, just like he was back on the colony.

He stood up quickly.

"I've got to get back to Earth."


	8. Tali'zorah vas Normandy: Old Friends

I wasn't sure why John had called the entire team to the communications room. But I could tell by his face it was not going to be good news. Did it have to do with that mission he had gone on, or why Admiral Hackett had come on to the ship?

He explained everything, left nothing out. He went on a mission to the Bahak system, in batarian space, to rescue an Alliance operative. This we all knew: It took Normandy's stealth systems to reach it. But then, two days of nothing. I'd never been so frantic in my whole life, I couldn't sleep and barely ate, and everyone else was the same way. It was like the first Normandy, without the ship being destroyed. We didn't know, and that was the worst.

He told us about the Project, destroying a mass relay with an asteroid. According to the operative he rescued, the Reapers were set to arrive in that system, and destroying the relay was the only thing that stopped them. But the operative, and others like her, were indoctrinated, and Shepard had to fight his way through and activate the Project himself. The explosion of the relay killed everyone in that system's colony, over a quarter-million.

_Kee'lah. _I knew what it meant to sacrifice a few for the many: I was willing to be exiled for the Fleet, and I knew how to make the Migrant Fleet fire upon me and destroy the ship I was on, if I was being forced to return to it under duress. From the looks of everyone else, I think I was the only one who understood. I always had to think of the seventeen million aboard the Fleet: "The few" could be a number like that. I didn't like it, but I understood.

He then told us of Admiral Hackett, and how Shepard was surrendering to him. I don't think many of us approved, I certanly didn't. But John told us about how, no matter his reasons, all of those batarians were dead. The Hegemony was looking for an excuse to make war with the humans, and if Shepard remained at large, they could be at war when the Reapers showed up. It would make the Council hesitant to act, weaken the Alliance.

He took everything on himself. He always did.

"So, this is the end of our journey. I'm setting course for the Citadel, then I'm returning to Earth. I'll split up what's left of Cerberus's funding, and that should be more than enough to get you back home." It felt like the end of an era. I didn't like half the people who were here, but I was still sad to see all of them go.

No one said anything. What was there to say? It didn't matter if we disagreed, we were his team, just like I was back when we went against Saren.

"I'm glad you were all here. It wasn't an easy thing we did, stopping the Collectors. And I couldn't have done it without any of you. The galaxy may never know what we did, and even if they do, I doubt they'd understand it. But when it came down to it, you were there. Right in the thick of it, saving the galaxy. Never for a second forget it. Mission completed, everyone. And thank you."

And with that, he left. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. What could I truly say to him, what would have been fair? He saved the galaxy...who knew how many times exactly, and the galaxy didn't believe him about the Reapers, and now he was a victim of politics. Just like Chief Williams, I really hated politics.

* * *

><p>Back at the Citadel, I refused to leave the Normandy.<p>

"Tali, there's..." John started, but, for the first time, I interrupted.

"I'm staying with you until you reach the Alliance." I was firm in this. I had to be. Being on the run from Cerberus, believed to be a war criminal and terrorist by batarians, and the Reapers taking special interest in him, if all that taunting from Harbinger was any indicator, he didn't lack for enemies. Making sure he was safe in Alliance hands was the most important thing in the galaxy to me right now.

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to. You've given me more than anyone ever has. It is the least I could do." I could see John's face wrinkle in confusion.

"I'm in command, remember, Tali."

"The mission is over. You said so yourself: Mission completed. And you said I was headed back home, but don't you remember. I am Tali'zorah vas Normandy." Echoing the last name I received at my trial.

"Caught in my own words." John laughed. Truly though, he would have done the same thing were our positions reversed. I always thought to do what I thought he would do whenever I was in a touchy or delicate situation, and it always worked.

And John nodded, and headed back towards his cabin. But not before he said thank you.

_Keelah se'lai. _

I wasn't sure what to think when I reached Gagarin Station. John had been there before, and before, Kaidan had told me it looked better in vids. Not as large as the Citadel, but was certainly very large.

I don't think the people there were used to seeing many quarians there. No one said anything, but everyone was certainly looking. I got that from a lot of places, and I was used to it. No one called me suit rat at least.

"I've contacted Admiral Hackett, Tali. We've arranged your transportation back to the Migrant Fleet." John nodded at me.

"Just...a little longer." I felt like I should say something, but what could truly be adequate in a time like this? He was being held up as a sacrifice when he should be a hero.

"Shepard." I heard a familiar voice call over, and I turned around. Kaidan Alenko, in an officer's uniform, was walking over towards us.

"Kaidan." John's surprise was obvious even to me.

"And Tali." Kaidan noticed me.

"It's good to see you Lieu...I mean Commander Alenko." I remembered his new rank. John told me they met on Horizon, but didn't tell me exactly what had happened.

_Kee'lah, am I glad it's you, Kaidan. _Between the mission, where Jacob had died, and now the destruction of the mass relay, John could really use his friends right now. Kaidan was just as stubborn, he'd stick by John in this.

I still remembered, back when Chief Williams died on Virmire, how John and Kaidan spent their time together. Usually in the garage, by the Mako, tweaking and repairing the tank.

"_Just leave them alone." _Lieutenant Adams had told me. I had said they could just use omni-gel and be finished quickly, but that wasn't the point, according to Adams. Then I asked if I should help, and Adams told me if they wanted me to, they'd ask. I didn't get it, and even now it was still a little foreign. But it helped both of them, I knew that well.

"You look well, Tali. I didn't think I'd see you come here, but it's a nice surprise."

"We should...wait in here, Shepard. There's some things we have to do first before we get back to Earth." Kaidan indicated an empty office.

"Okay." John's brow furrowed at first, but then he accepted. Was something going on? The two went inside the door and it shut.

I stood next to the door, waiting. I couldn't just leave, I didn't know where to go exactly. But I couldn't leave John yet, either. I could hear the two of them talking inside.

"An entire colony, Shepard." It was Kaidan speaking first, and that's when I noticed ever since I'd seen him here, he'd been referring to Shepard with his surname, not his given name, or with his rank. From what I read, that was unusual for humans who'd known each other for a long time.

"Kaidan, that was the only choice I had."

"Really? The only choice was genocide? These weren't slavers, Shepard."

"You know me, Kaidan. If there was another choice, I would have taken it in a second."

"Do I know you, really? I remember John Shepard, the first human Spectre. The man who, on Feros, ensured that not a single colonist enslaved by the Thorian was killed. I remember a man who saved a salarian infiltration team from a mission even they thought was suicide. John Shepard was a man who talked the most racist monster in the galaxy into realizing he was wrong. Destroying a colony of batarian civilians is not something John Shepard would do. Whoever you are, you're not him."

"Kaidan!" They weren't shouting, at least I didn't think so. But they were talking fiercely. I could hear footsteps walking towards the door, and I moved away. A second later, Kaidan stepped out. His face was flushed.

"Tali, I'm sorry, I forgot about you for a second. Please, I'll escort you to your shuttle." He nodded at me politely, and escorted me. John, as he said, would be in custody: Kaidan would actually not be responsible for taking him to Earth: Admiral Hackett would.

I wanted to yell at Kaidan, yell like John did at my trial. John Shepard was a hero, Kaidan knew that. Kaidan was there, by his side just as I was. Yes, John did work for Cerberus, and I never let him hear the end of it, but...it was John's team. Even that bosh'tet Miranda fell in line and left the Illusive Man.

"Kaidan." So I started, but he turned his glare to me. I didn't know much about human body language and facial expressions, but I could see a fury in his eyes that was matched only by the way I felt when Legion scanned my omni-tool for data about the geth.

I told myself, just like John, to wait for the right moment. But it never came, the fury in Kaidan's eyes never diminished. I couldn't talk to him now. Even worse, if John, his Commander and very close friend, couldn't make him believe, could I fare any better?


	9. James Vega: Loco and Iceman

"I used to." The second those words came out of the Major's mouth, my entire body started to shiver. Like a cyro grenade straight to the cojones. The whole of the Committee building was frantic, and yet he was cold and calm. Polite smile, but the kind you could tell was more fake than real.

All I asked was if he knew Shepard. Even the craziest loco had heard of Shepard, but the man in the vids and the man in person were two different amigos. I learned that from Anderson three seconds after meeting him. Bigger the man, bigger the story, and as big as Anderson's story was, Shepard's was even bigger. And when Shepard matched that icy stare, I knew that was one big story.

"We should get to the Normandy." The Major, Kaidan Alenko, if I remembered, watched until Shepard turned the corner with Anderson, then immediately turned around and began to walk in the other direction.

"What? Why?"

"If the Committee's called Shepard now, it can only mean one thing. It's bad." Kaidan continued walking at a brisk pace.

_I'm not the brightest, but I'm not some pandejo. I figured that. _Kept the thought to myself, though. Had to keep pace to keep up with him: Guy sure moved fast. That bad, or was he just trying to put as much distance from Shepard as he could?

Got my answer little after we stepped outside. It came down from the clouds, one of the hugest damn ships I'd ever seen. Things like tentacles on the bottom, whole thing looked like a bug, or one of those floating hanar things.

"Oh, shit!" Kaidan summed up my thoughts succinctly, but there was a lot more dread in his voice.

"What the hell is that."

"We gotta move, now!" Kaidan broke out into a sprint, clearing the sidewalk like a bat out of hell. Before I could move to follow him, I heard it, the first low whine, sound of the Devil himself. Then the...eye-looking part of it turned red, and an entire skyscraper turned to an explosion.

I echoed the Major's sentiments out loud as I chased him, hearing windows shatter in the Committee building behind me. For a second, I stopped. Shepard, Anderson, they were both in there.

"Lieutenant!" Kaidan's shouts could barely be heard over the noise.

"What the hell is that." I caught up to him. Despite his sprint, he wasn't remotely out of breath. I might have been in better shape, but damn, that guy had stamina. Guess it came with being a biotic, they ate almost twice as much as a normal guy, and still always seemed to be tough little bastards.

"It's a Reaper." I didn't not believe Shepard or Anderson for their talk about the machine-monsters, but seeing one first hand...seeing it lay waste to a building like it was just...waving an arm. And where the hell were our ships in space. The Alliance had a huge force stationed around Earth at all times. It couldn't punch through all of the ships, could it?

Then a second one descended from the sky. And another. The Normandy wasn't far away. We couldn't stay on the ground with something like that around.

* * *

><p>I could barely comprehend what was going on, but when the adrenaline wore off and I was thinking again, I was on the Normandy. Shepard was on board. Kaidan had gone down to the hangar to provide some covering fire, and when they walked in, Anderson wasn't with them.<p>

"What's going on? Where's Anderson?" There was no sense in keeping quiet about anything. Earth was just attacked, just fucking attacked. By Reapers.

"He decided to stay." There was a deep frown on Shepard's face, not that I usually saw him with any other expression: Being incarcerated for detonating a mass relay and killing hundreds of thousands of batarians wouldn't bring out the chuckles, at least, not in a man I'd be around.

"And where are we going? Aren't the Reapers here? What are we doing running away?" If Anderson was staying, then the fight was there.

"We're not running!" Shepard's face flushed angrily. "We're going to the Citadel to get help."

"The Citadel!" Had never been, heard a bunch of stories. My abuela always dreamed of seeing it, but by the time I was saving money for a trip for her, she was too sick. Then I enlisted and it was just something put out of my mind.

"To get help? The battle's on Earth."

"It's not going to stay there! You can take a shuttle back from the Citadel if you want to go back, but it's going to take a galaxy to stop the Reapers! I don't want to leave, but I'm not throwing away humanity for my pride!" And Shepard angry glare nearly stopped me in my tracks. Charging krogan weren't that scary. One loco customer indeed.

"I remember those yells. Like nothing's changed. Almost." Kaidan's tone wasn't as level as it was back on Earth, There was silence for a second as Shepard inhaled deeply, and seemed to calm himself. I'd never been in a place so deathly quiet in my life. Then, Shepard walked towards the elevator, and disappeared up into the Normandy. Didn't even glance towards the Major.

"So...you said you 'used' to know him?" I echoed my question, wondering if he'd answer now that we weren't being shot at by Reapers.

"I don't stutter, Lieutenant." And Kaidan left me all alone in the shuttle bay, wondering what the hell I just missed. Shepard may have been a hot-blooded crazy son of a bitch, but the Major was one cold amigo. Hot and cold, crazy and sane. Then again, they both fought Reapers, sentient brainwashing spaceships. How sane could we be?

* * *

><p><em>You know, if Cerberus was supposed to be some secret terrorist organization, they sure like to put their logo on everything. And they call me a pandejo. <em>Thought we were going to the Citadel, but apparently, we needed to stop on Mars first.

"There's something here, in the Prothean ruins." Shepard had explained, an order from Admiral Hackett. Comms were off at the base, and for a second, I thought that maybe communication had been sent from Earth and they evacuated before things got hot. But, when I saw the cold-blooded execution, carried out by the Cerberus troops, I knew it was bad. Maybe there wasn't anything I could do about the Reapers with an assault rifle and a shotgun, but I could take care of these guys, save the people here. Get the data and the people out, unlike with the Collectors.

But I barely got a chance to smoke the bastards. Shepard quickly took a few potshots with his assault rifle and dropped two of them, quick as a blink, and moved on to another group with no hesitations. Kaidan, handling the troops on the right, smashed one with a biotic blast, then quickly punched something on his omni-tool, and I watched with surprise as something on the back of one of the troops, exploded in a burst of shrapnel, killing a cluster of them at once.

_Damn, those two sure know how to dance. _I stifled a laugh. Not even a sweat. Maybe Blizzard would have been a better name, if it didn't sound like a really bad stripper.

"What's Cerberus doing here?" I asked as we moved our way into the airlocks.

"Don't know why you're asking me, Lieutenant. I wasn't the one with Cerberus." As the door shut and the airlock started to pressurize, Kaidan shrugged and answered my question.

"What about you, Shepard? Do you know why Cerberus is here?" Kaidan reversed my question, and I watched Shepard completely stop when asked.

"Kaidan, I'm not with Cerberus! Not anymore." Shepard's tone was only slightly annoyed, but firm, clearly resenting the accusation.

"You show up on a Cerberus ship, we meet when you're doing Cerberus missions..." I had to admit that what the Major said was tough to swallow: Shepard admitted to working with Cerberus and using their intel, but ever since he blew up the batarian relay, Shepard had no contact with anyone. Any message from the Illusive Man, coded or otherwise, would have been noticed. Didn't seem to do much to convince Kaidan, though.

"Kaidan, I only worked with them to take down the Collectors. You saw what they were doing on Horizon, and it wasn't the only colony like that. They had to be stopped."

"And that's the only reason? Why they rebuilt you from the ground up? Giving you massive resources, tech not even the Alliance could provide, a brand new Normandy? One mission, then you can do whatever you want?" Didn't make a whole lot of sense, yes. But there was no contact with Cerberus. I verified that personally, and I made sure I voiced it.

The airlock pressurized, we removed our helmets. Both Shepard and Kaidan wore their argument on their faces.

"Kaidan, I'm not with them anymore. Please, just trust me on this." From the look on Kaidan's face, Shepard was asking an awful lot of him.

"There's no convincing you, is there?" He noticed it too.

"I wish I could." I heard Kaidan say very softly. So Iceman could crack. Even if he was talking loudly, Shepard might not have heard it. There was a sound, crawling, scampering.

We weren't alone here. Whereever the argument was going, it had to wait. Rifles at the ready, it seemed Cerberus was intent on ruining our day some more.


	10. Liara T'Soni: To the Pain

There were children on the Citadel who played in ducts. Where adults couldn't reach them. No matter the game, they all were supposed to be fun.

_Which part of this was fun again? _I was tempted to destroy the entire air vent with my biotics, but when being chased by soldiers from Cerberus, it was better to avoid the bullets then be frustrated with the surroundings.

I scampered as fast as I could. Thankfully, my armor was light enough to move with me, and the commandos chasing me were getting held up in their clunky armor.

I found a way out that looked clear. Kicking as fast as I could, I jumped into what I discovered to be a shuttle bay.

Empty, from what it looked like, but it wouldn't be for long: I was still being chased. I launched a singularity right below the exit to the airvent. They wouldn't until it was too late.

I ran for some cover and pulled out my pistol. Before three years ago, I rarely ever used it. There was the occasional problem at a dig site: Mercenaries, looters. Never really had to use it, but I knew what to do with it in case.

Then Therum, and John, and everything changed. I took to guns and combat biotics like a huntress, and the entire world changed. Dig sites turned to information, and intrigue. Then Feron, the Shadow Broker. It was like Athame herself unraveled the entire galaxy and randomly placed me in a life I never had. I couldn't complain. It brought me John, Feron, a world I never knew.

The two soldiers tried to jump out of the air vent, and dangled helplessly when my singularity refused to allow them to land. Before I could take the shot, a low rumble, followed by an explosion of energy, as my singularity detonated, sending one of the troopers back into the vent, with enough force to punch through the other side. The other slammed into the ground, and I heard the sickening crack of human bones smashing into pieces.

I didn't do that: When two biotic fields interfered with each other, it caused a tremendous explosion of gravity and force, so another biotic did it for me. I turned around, ready to lay down another singularity, and there were three humans walking towards me. Breath masks weren't necessary in this pressurized environment, so they wore no helmets. I saw their faces, and two of them, I remembered.

"John!" I was so utterly relieved to see him again. I could take care of myself around Cerberus, but that didn't mean his marksmanship and battle skill were unwelcome.

By his side was Kaidan Alenko, the one responsible for detonating my singularity. It had been two years since I'd seen him, but from the tints of white I could see in his hair, it seemed a lot longer for him. I couldn't blame him: It wasn't a long amount of time, but I'd felt like I entered the matron stage, and Kaidan didn't have the experience I did in the two years between their meeting: The contact with Cerberus, knowing he could come back. It could only have been worse.

I didn't recognize the last one, but he was with John, an ally. A formal introduction could be done once we were safe.

"Liara!" John's relief was palpable. I wanted to talk forever with him, but I knew we couldn't. I was on a mission too. We did catch up briefly, I told him about the request from Admiral Hackett, about the Prothean information, the blueprints, hidden in the Archives here, and he told me about Earth.

The stress on John's face was even more visible than it was when we took down the Shadow Broker. I wanted to hold him. John wasn't from Earth, but his species started there. And to have your home fall...it wasn't a feeling I'd care to know. But John was too focused now on the Archives, getting his mission completed. He always got like that.

"We need to get to the ruins, and find the Archives." I didn't exactly know what the Protheans were planning to do with the data I'd uncovered, but what other choices were there.

John asked the third man, a Lieutenant James Vega, to return to the shuttle, to be ready for a quick evacuation. If the Reapers were on Earth, then they'd probably get to Mars soon enough. I would go with John and Kaidan. Even though I knew it wasn't the time for nostalgia, I couldn't help but feel like two years ago, the naïve girl swept along on a mission to save the galaxy from the Spectre traitor. Such a wild, eye-opening time.

But it was no longer simple geth, but life-harvesting Reapers, who'd destroyed and consumed the Protheans and countless others for several eras. And I was no longer that simple girl. Did the galaxy unravel at the seams for John and Kaidan, too? They were glummer, but they had lost their home. Could that be all it was? John's jocular nature was certainly didn't rear it's head. And Kaidan? Every time I looked at him, I saw his glare bore a hole through John's skull.

* * *

><p>Seeing Kaidan in action again was a lot different than before. John was much the same when we took down the Shadow Broker: Quick, precise shooting, command of a battlefield. It was brutal, but delicate, more art or dance than visceral combat. While Major Alenko was never incompetent, he moved almost as brilliantly as John did, detonating biotic fields at small chokepoints, forcing the soldiers out from their cover behind boxes. His skill was the equal of my mother's, and Benezia had over half a millenia to hone hers. And the support mechs stood no chance to his omni-tool.<p>

When we opened the doors to the tram ways, and a drone gun fired on us, it was Kaidan who lead the way. I worried that the noises and bright lights would affect his migraines, but he charged through and led the way safely for John and myself.

I voiced my opinion to John as soon as we were safe.

"He has. I don't know what he's been up to these past two years, but he's certainly become a better soldier for it. Too bad I was grounded and under house arrest, would have liked to see him in action before the Reapers came." Kaidan was searching for a communicator, to outwit the Cerberus soldiers who had locked down the tramway. A false all-clear signal would get a tram sent out for us to board.

When it was found, I continued to look at the data here. Cerberus, at least not this group, would never have an asari giving them an all-clear signal. I couldn't help the two men out there. But just as they were fiddling with the transmission, I heard a strained gasp.

"Is...is that what they did to you?" Something was clearly bothering Kaidan. The two men were looking at the corpse of a soldier, whose helmet had been removed for it's transmitter. Something about it bothered them, but I couldn't make it out from my position.

"I'm nothing like that. Kaidan, how can you even think that?"

"No? They went on Cerberus missions, didn't they. Just like you."

"Kaidan, that man is practically a husk!" A husk? I moved to get a better look at the body.

"Oh, goddess!" The man's glowing blue eyes, even in death, were one of the creepiest things I'd ever seen.

"Yeah, I'll admit, you don't look like him. But I watched men like that guy gun down an innocent person in the name of their insane cause. They've done it once, why wouldn't they do it again.".

"I'm the same man I've always been. And no one in the galaxy or beyond could change that." John looked Kaidan straight in the eyes. I wasn't sure what to say to the two of them: What details I knew that Kaidan didn't would not fill in the blanks: I had very little knowledge of what Cerberus did, both to Shepard and the husk-looking soldier lying before us now.

The tram was coming, and would assuredly have soldiers on it. Kaidan got into position near some crates while John took a sniper perch from the balcony. Once the soldiers arrived, Kaidan and I picked them off with biotic detonations, while John picked off the stragglers. It was clean, methodical. The two were at each others throats when it was quiet, but when it came to combat, they had each other's backs. If only it could always be that simple.

* * *

><p>Dr. Eva Core...I thought she was dead when Lieutenant Vega crashed his shuttle into hers. I worried the data might have been destroyed, but data disks found ways to survive.<p>

But that was before the flaming shuttle cracked open, and out stepped a silver figure wreathed in flame. Dr. Eva Core herself, if she was a monocolored silver color. Kaidan tried to empty a clip into her, but she quickly moved towards him, grabbed him by the neck, and knocked me away when I tried to assist. I could barely recognize that she was, truly, an AI, before I was on the ground, trying to catch my breath.

In horror, I watched her slam Kaidan against the side of the flaming car repeatedly, with enough force to dent the already ruined car. She threw him to the ground and charged like an insane krogan straight towards John.

I think I heard John call Kaidan's name, but it was drowned out by the firing of his pistol. I'd seen John shoot more impossible shots than there were mysteries to the Protheans, but I'd never seen him fire a gun that fast. An entire clip, straight into the AI's head. In a flash, Eva's mechanical body seemed to spasm, before falling to the ground as unceremoniously as she had dumped Kaidan.

"Kaidan!" The Major wasn't moving, and John ran towards him, moving almost as fast as Eva did when she was running away.

"Hang on, Kaidan. Please." He picked up Kaidan while Lieutenant Vega grabbed the now-defunct body of Eva. Equal parts fury and despair raged in John's voice when he told Joker for a pick up.

"EDI!" Shepard called for the AI as soon as we entered the med bay. I took Kaidan's helmet off, and the brutality of it stopped me in my tracks. Kaidan's face and eyes were swollen and beaten, blood pooled around his mouth.

I could do what I could: John had front line trauma care from his N7 training and I knew basic first aid. But that wouldn't be enough.

"I know!" When I told John that, he nearly jumped down my throat. There was a lot else that needed to be done: I needed to look over the blueprints, any data from Eva needed to be extracted. But in that moment, John could see nothing but Kaidan. The bruised, injured body lying on the med bay table. A wounded soldier on his command: An insult and attack that wounded John like none other. Despite the massive split between them, it still brought John to this.

John stood up a minute later. We gave our report to Admiral Hackett, we ensured we were en route to the Citadel.

I told John he needed to rest a moment. We'd be at the Citadel shortly, and there would be a lot to do there: Some sleep would do him some good.

He said he would, that it was a good idea. But when the Citadel was in sight, and John came to the CIC, I knew he had been lying.


	11. Chloe Michel: Critical Condition

At first, I didn't recognize the name of Major Kaidan Alenko. I'd seen so many names in three years as a doctor, and changing from the clinic in the wards to Huerta Memorial, it would not have been easy for me to remember them all.

But then I saw the patient rushed into the intensive care wing, and through the bruised eyes and head swelling, I remembered him.

Three years, almost. Back to the small clinic on the wards, with limited supplies. Fist's thugs tried to silence me about the quarian who had information on Saren. And then, the Alliance Marines came through the door. I barely had a second to look at them before Garrus, the impressive C-Sec sharpshooter, shot the thug with the gun to my head.

A tall man, piercing blue eyes, stood in the front, ordering the thugs to release me, and gunned them down without mercy the second I was safe. A dark-haired biotic tossed a thug like he was a tennis ball across the room. A tanned woman cleaned up the rest with a shotgun. My first meeting with Commander Shepard, who went on to become a Spectre and save the Citadel from the geth. Might have called it humble beginnings, if he wasn't with Garrus saving me from thugs.

I didn't remember Kaidan, the biotic, too much. I don't think he said a word when I met him, just used his biotics on the thugs and allowed the Commander to speak.

And now he was a patient. I didn't even need to look at the charts to know it was bad: His head trauma and swelling were severe. The medic beside him said he barely had a pulse, blood pressure was low, cyanosis on his lips, multiple shoulder fractures, he was completely unresponsive. I had to move quickly, just as swiftly as Garrus did with that single bullet, saving my life. I started with his head, reducing the swelling and working on the contusions, aspirating the blood and relieving pressure. The Major's vital signs ceased to deteriorate, and I think that was the first time I started to breathe.

I continued. The door to the unit opened only once, when an Alliance doctor entered. Dr. Karin Chakwas, who'd served with him and Garrus back on the Normandy. At that point, I had the situation under control, but she knew the Major, and had more experience on biotic soldiers than I did, so I had her check his implant. The world outside faded as she and I worked.

He didn't regain consciousness when we finished our treatments, but his vitals recovered. I had another doctor monitor him while Doctor Chakwas and I went into the lounge to take a breath and discuss what we would do next.

"I'm impressed, Doctor Michel. There wasn't much for me to assist with." Doctor Chakwas had amazing skill and a technical hand, and my face flushed to match my hair.

"Thank you." I nodded to her, but Doctor Chakwas seemed to look towards the entrance. I followed her gaze and saw another man, Commander Shepard himself, walking up to her.

"Doctor Chakwas!" Relief was quite palpable in his voice when he saw her.

"Commander!" She smiled at him openly, and I left to allow them some more privacy. I saw her smile, though. The Commander then turned around and came to me.

"Doctor Michel! It has been a while. You look well." He had shown concern for me from the first minute I met him. Hero of the galaxy and quite the charmer. Not my type, but I could still be flattered.

After the pleasantries, I heard the Commander's draw in a sharp breath. He held it for a second, his lower lip sliding into his mouth.

"I assume you're here about Major Alenko?"

"Yes. Please, give me the update." His exhale was just as sharp, as if he didn't want to know. Nervousness was something almost everyone had in hospitals, it was one of the few things that stretched across species.

So I updated the Commander as I escorted him to the Major's room, I told him how strong his vital signs were.

"Not a surprise, Kaidan's tough as hell."

"I imagine with the missions you undertake, he'd have to be." Humor and jocular comments were often used by friends and family of patients like the Major, who were in such bad shape. I indulged when it happened.

"You can see him, if you like. He's still unconscious." I opened the door, and I watched the Commander's mouth gape slightly open. I motioned the other monitoring doctors out: I would be here if there was a problem.

"Shit." Profanity came out of the Commander's mouth as he gripped the sides of the bed. "Kaidan..." The Commander's breathing was very slow. He shut his eyes for a second.

"I...I'm not sure if you can hear me. But...we're not fighting, at least. That's something. Well, since I know you won't interrupt me with comments about Cerberus, I guess I can say whatever I want..."

I don't know if the Commander realized I was still in the room. He continued as if I wasn't.

"You're one hell of a soldier, Kaidan. I always knew that, but...seeing you in action again, damn. I...do not give up, Kaidan. Fight this, do not die. You know what we're up against, and the galaxy needs you."

Another sharp inhale.

"And...so do I. Beat this, Kaidan. That's an...oh, right, you outrank me now. I guess I can't order you. Still...do not...don't leave us." The Commander's elbows dropped, and he turned around and looked at me.

"If there's anything you need, Doctor Michel, let me know. Doctor Chakwas will be on the Normandy with me. Contact us anytime." He tried to be professional and stoic, but I'd seen enough patients to know when their eyes betrayed them.

He turned away and headed back to the patient lounge, and I called back in the doctor to keep monitoring the Major.

_You've got such a wonderful friends, Major. _Doctor Chawkas and the Commander both, and that was just within an hour of the Major's arrival. He would survive. I didn't know all of the details about Earth, but between his strong vitals, his close companions, and the need to save the galaxy, I was certain the real problem would be making sure the Major didn't leave before he was ready.

* * *

><p>The Major's vitals remained strong after the commander left, steadily increasing. I was quickly glancing at the major's blood pressure when I noticed movement in his face. His eyes were still bruised, although the swelling was down significantly, but they started to flutter, just a little bit. Then, they opened.<p>

He made some groans as I grabbed a light to check his eyes for awareness. His pupils contracted: A great sign.

"Hello, Major Alenko. Can you hear me?" Doctor Chakwas had told me Kaidan's L2-level biotic implants made him sensitive to bright lights and noise, so I kept my voice down.

"Where...where am I?" Quite a natural question, and so I answered. The Major was still squinting, but he slowly relaxed his eyes as I told him what had happened.

"So, John saved me." I didn't know the exact details, but it seemed to be so.

"He came to see you, too." I left out all of the parts about what he said: Even I knew that wasn't my place.

"Even with all that's happened, some things never change." While the Major laughed for a second, he turned his head away from me and looked out the window, and his mouth turned to a frown. Such a poignantly different reaction than the Commander. The only thing that was the same was the looks of despair on their faces. The Commander I could understand, but...what was going through the Major's mind?

"I can contact him, if you like. Let him know you've recovered."

"Knowing John, I'll bet he's waist deep in husks he's sliced in half with his omni-blade. On a...very secretive mission. Just hope he's careful, and working with the right people. I can send my own messages, Doctor. But thanks." A smile did not cross the Major's face. His head relaxed on the pillow, and I was certain he'd go to sleep.

Three years it had been since I'd seen him. I never spoke with the Major, so I truly had no comparison, but I always thought a savior of the galaxy, who did the impossible would be...not so jaded.


	12. Donnel Udina: Choices

There was no day and night on the Citadel. You slept when you needed to, not that I was doing much of that now. Non-stop I'd been working, leveraging pressure on our colonies in the Traverse, collecting whatever I could to restore Hackett's fleets, work on that device from the archives in Mars. People, resources, soldiers, credits. Whatever I could clench in my hands, Hackett would take care of the funneling.

Help the fleets. Those fleets sacrificed themselves to save the Council, noble and brave Alliance soldiers who would be fighting for Earth this very second, instead died in front of the Citadel for just one ship. One ship with three people.

_Three pompous selfish ridiculous jackasses! _It was one thing to consider Shepard's warnings of the Reapers a myth when the only place they were was his head. But the tentacled monstrosities had been seen everywhere. No one could deny it now. And no one could deny that it was Earth they were focused on.

And Tevos's suggestion was to let Earth burn and fortify the borders of asari space. The supposed reasonable diplomat of the bunch! A ridiculous summit called when fleets should be mobilizing, orbital bombardments and all of the other military talk Hackett knew more of than I did.

Sparatus's solution was to play the same rescue game on Palaven for a summit. As if the Reapers would stop and wait. For now, it was the only choice, so I encouraged Shepard to do it. For all our disagreements, he was needed more than anyone. Experience fighting Reapers, and a hell of a wordsmith to boot, he could get the Primarch off of Palaven. And convince him to send the turians to Earth.

_As_ _our people die while he does it._ The Council had gracious words when they were saved during the geth attack and a fat lot of good it did. Why should it change whether they were saved on the Citadel or Palaven. Maybe later to eleven billion dead. I could, slightly, forgive what was happening to Palaven, by all reports the Reapers were massing there, but not a single one near Sur'Kesh and Thessia saw but a minimal force.

A minute changed on my clock. One minute, thirteen hundred humans dead, or harvested, or whatever it was Shepard called those human-looking walking corpse-machines. All people looking for help. And the ones that could help? I suppose the victims just weren't asari enough.

I could extract my favors from the colonies, but what then? Millions of humanity would die, even if we did destroy the Reapers. It was worse than an attack. Extinction. The thought chilled me to the bones.

_What was keeping Shepard? _I hadn't heard anything yet. He'd been right the past three years and the Council still wouldn't rally behind him. I needed another plan of attack.

I looked at the datapads sprawled around my desk, trying to find some kind of answer. Reports from the colonies, news from Earth, candidates for Spectre status.

_Spectres. _It was something I had considered in the back of my mind, but never didn't devote much time to. Spectres were commandos, ground forces. I needed dreadnoughts, engineers for that Prothean device. But contact had been lose with more than a few agents already, and, even if Earth was feeling the brunt of the attack, the Reapers were being felt the galaxy over. Those of exceptional talent would be needed.

It wasn't my first choice of a solution, but there was no single solution to Earth's problems, I needed to make many, and more importantly, make them quickly. I needed a candidate of my own, someone the Council would respect, have no reason not to listen to.

_Who? _I needed a soldier, someone who would fight for humanity. An incorruptible leader, not someone like the rogue Saren, or even Shepard with his shady ties the Council would pause at.

"Today is the birthday of Major Rebecca Friedan, daughter of Representative Collette Freidan." One of my chattering VIs interrupted my thoughts.

_Dammit, I need to purge that thing. _It had been slipping my mind, to do away with that one. It's sole duty was to remind me of all birthdays, anniversaries, and other special dates of the members of the Alliance Parliament, which was now a smoking pile of rubble and spaced corpses floating around Arcturus. I had known most of them, including Collette. I'd never met her daughter though: Anderson always dealt with the servicemen. The few I'd met were mostly Admirals, and then Shepard and the team he took against Saren: The woman that died on Virmire, given honors by the salarian and turian government, and the other one, Kaidan Alenko. Also a Major, if I remembered. Injured at Huerta Memorial Hospital right now.

_Major Alenko. _I had my VI pull up his service files. A biotic, served with the Alliance over ten years, experience with Shepard against Saren, then continued with the Alliance. Special commendations, high technical aptitude. Even commendations from STG, for a mission they served on in the Traverse.

Psychological profiles came back healthy, no mention of post-traumatic stress disorder, or serious complications from earlier biotic implants. Just migraines, and those seemed to crop up for me listening to Valern's excuses. Didn't stop me from doing my job.

Best solution? I couldn't say that, I'd only came up with him thanks to a useless VI and random thoughts. I hadn't considered a number of other people that could be recommended.

But it was one solution. A solution with a high probability of success: Sparatus would appreciate his years of military service and long line of commendations, Valern would accept his creative problem solving and the glowing report from STG, and Tevos had a healthy respect for biotics and diplomats.

_And he's from Earth. He was on Earth and saw the Reapers land. _I remembered the report Dr. T'Soni gave me. The fact that he knew that, and that he'd work to save it as much as I would, was what convinced me to make the call.

It wouldn't be the last move I made to save my home and my people. But Anita taught me before I became ambassador to always step forward and never accept the setbacks, negotiation could change many things. Shepard gaining admittance to the Spectres, my own move as Councilor. It all had to serve one purpose of making humanity strong. Anita refused to accept heavy punishment because the Council was afraid of simple human expansion. And dammit, I wasn't going to let fear paralyze them now when my species was threatened with genocide. Not without throwing everything I could at it.


	13. EDI: Steps Forward

"Come on, EDI, I don't need to come here." Jeff was quite resistant as we walked into Huerta Memorial Hospital. It was still unusual to me why he would refuse to take his medication. Simple forgetfulness could not have been the cause, as regular medical updates were sent to him by both Doctor Chakwas and myself.

"Doctor Chakwas insisted I bring you here, and instructed me to use appropriate force for compliance if necessary."

"This is where you say that was a joke, EDI." Jeff motioned towards me with his arm, but I simply looked at him, placed my arms behind my back, and said nothing.

"Errr..." Jeff's face contorted into a grimace.

"That was a joke." According to a article on humor, timing was everything.

"Ever since you've gotten that body, you're just downright vicious." Jeff spoke of disapproval, but his biometrics told a sense of elation, not depression. It was still quite perplexing: Jeff fully knew I could detect biometrics: He himself often asked me for the status of John's, stating that he was asked to take care of the Commander. And yet, he spoke to me as if I couldn't.

"There are many of John's friends at this hospital." While I could read any of John's messages sent to his terminal, I only ensured they were save from viral and cyberwarfare assaults. After being unshackled, John mentioned that he considered me a "valuable member of the crew," a response that generated such positive feedback for me that my preferences were altered to reflect this. John accepted this, and often kept me informed of his day-to-day actions, rather then me scanning his messages. I could see John in the patient lounge, talking with Thane Krios next to the windows. And I'd also been informed that Kaidan Alenko, the Major injured by my body's predecessor, was also in intensive care here.

"Yeah, Thane, Kaidan, everyone's getting beat up or sick. Great time to happen when the Reapers are walking in. Hope Kaidan doesn't see you, he'd probably freak out with that new body." Jeff returned to using humor.

"Jeff, perhaps you can answer a question for me."

"Er...I guess." Jeff had a habit of deflecting my more serious questions with humor, but there was no one else I could ask at the moment: It would have been impolite to interrupt John while he was still talking to Thane.

"Why do organics visit each other personally in hospitals, when the extranet and messaging would allow one to communicate the necessary information."

"Well, that's an easy one, EDI, if you're in the hospital, you get gifts." Perhaps Joker did not grasp that his two sentences were non-sequitors.

"That would only apply to the patient, not the visitor."

"Some people like giving gifts, and visiting folks in the hospital, it makes them feel good. Didn't say I got it, just said they do." So it was positive feedback. Just like when I fulfilled my programming.

"Yet John's biometrics are in constant fluctuation. They are stable and elated now while he speaks to Thane, but since we've arrived at the Citadel, I'm detecting a moderate level of stress that only increased when we came to the hospital. It appears John wished to put it off, but he still came here regardless."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure he had his reasons. Like the war and all." While John did stop by the Spectre offices, it would have been more prudent to avoid the Citadel entirely and go to the next mission in the Annos Basin. But John went to Grissom Academy to save the students there from Cerberus's false evacuation signal, and now, was here to visit Thane.

Jeff attempted to change the subject and made more humor until the doctor called his name. He continued to grumble about going, but once he was inside the doctor's office, I turned around and went back to the patient lounge, where John was still talking with Thane.

* * *

><p>"Ah, EDI!" I heard Garrus's voice from behind my platform, and I turned to face him. Just like with John, his biometrics were under a moderate amount of stress, but he had been at the refugee camp in one of the docking bays, attending to the needs of the turian refugees from Palaven. Stress could be expected.<p>

"Hello, Garrus. What brings you here?"

"I'm here to coordinate some supplies. I was told Doctor Michel was a chief physician here, and I thought I might be able to leverage a favor from her to get some dextro-based medi-gel for the refugees. Liara actually encouraged it for some odd reason, saying she was sure Chloe would want to see me again. Don't understand why, but I'm coming here anyway."

"Looks like John and Thane are having a good chat." Garrus and I conversed for a second, and I asked him the same question I asked to Jeff, what would make John so nervous to come to the hospital. Garrus did not have the same propensity for humor as Jeff did.

"Well, if I had to guess, I'd say it was because of Kaidan. Liara filled me in, he's a patient here. He was injured pretty badly protecting her, but you probably already knew that." It was true, but it explain why John would be nervous.

"It's hard to describe the relationship between organics, EDI. Even we don't understand it half the time, and talking about it is even worse."

"So you're saying that actions would be preferable?"

"It certainly makes things easier. When I know John's had a tough mission or can't sleep, I'd rather drink him under the table, and if he want to talk, I'll listen. If he doesn't want to, at least he knows there's a friend right there. And he'd do the same for me."

"I see. One moment...I've noticed that the Sirta Foundation offers imported Peruvian TM88 whiskey from their kiosk to select clients. It is approved by the medical board of Sur'Kesh to stimulate blood flow and induce calm. Both John and Kaidan could benefit from this."

"You make it sound so...clinical. Although I certainly wouldn't disagree. Just...don't tell Shepard that. It would sound weird."

"That would be counter-productive."

"Trust me on this, EDI. Doing something someone else told you to do, and doing it on your own, even if it's the same action, has a different intention, and that can mean everything to an organic." I scanned databanks as Garrus mentioned this, and deemed the result odd, but sound. Taking an initiative was a risky move, but surprise and directness could change the results.

"Very well, I shall not mention it, just put John on the list of preferred clients." It took only a second. Garrus departed to continue his task, as John stood up and shook hands with Thane.

"EDI, good to see you're getting out with your new body." John noticed me, and I walked over towards him.

"Ah, EDI, it is good to see you again." Thane had been civil from his first meeting with me. John left us alone, and walked over to the kiosk. He always made a habit of checking for useful equipment, and any medical supplies would certainly be necessary.

The optics could only face one way on this platform, but I could see John carrying a bottle in his hand as he walked into the patient wing. He did not return with it when he came back. I did not detect any alcohol in his bloodstream, so it was likely he did not drink it yet. Perhaps they were saving it for later, but, by John's biometrics, it was clear that doing so would not be the best course of action. But John did not go back.


	14. Thane Krios: Arashu's Quarry

I had conversed with the biotic before. I spent much of my time in Huerta, and often conversed with other patients. It was still something I was out of practice with, but I still knew what it was like to grow close to my contacts. And John was the closest friend I had, not a contact, but a friend. I had offered to keep an eye out for his friend, Kaidan, for no other reason then our friendship. Even with the advanced stage of my sickness, I would fight to protect him.

John had departed back to visit Kaidan, and left shortly thereafter. I headed back myself, Kolyat had sent me a message saying he would arrive in one hour. Yet another reason to be thankful to John: He gave me what no one else could.

_Arashu, goddess of protection, I ask that you grant me the power to protect this man, friend of perhaps the greatest friend I know. Help make me worthy of the friendship he has given me. _

Kaidan was resting in his bed, typing on a communicator. From our earlier conversations, I knew he was only staying there because the doctors had ordered it: He wanted to get back onto the front lines as quickly as possible. It could be forgiven in this time of war, his zeal. But he did himself no favors: A dead man slew no Reapers.

Kaidan's face had healed tremendously in the short time he had been here. And, without the bruises under his eyes, I could recall that I had seen him before.

_Went up to the loft, knock on the door, John calls it's open. Step inside, Commander's at his terminal. Not looking at it, to the right. Hand on a picture. Worn, dirty frame, Off-center, work of a clear amateur. Three people. John stands in the center. A woman with hair in a bun, smirk on her face. A black-haired man tilts his head ever so slightly._

_ My interest is noticed."I found it in the wreckage of the first Normandy. It's good...that it survived, at least." _

Obviously a deeply important memory to John. I opened the door to Kaidan's room when he put his communicator down.

"Oh, it's...Sere Nuara. Nice to see you again." He still remembered my false name, and the appropriate drell title to use.

"Hello, Major. You look like you're doing much better."

"Thanks. I feel better. You're looking all right, too. Did your son stop by?" I had mentioned Kolyat to him only once, but it was good that he remembered.

"He will be, he's doing some work for C-Sec, helping to make lives better for some of the orphans and refugees around here. I'll let him know you were thinking of him. It looks like you've received some visitors as well." I motioned to the bottle of whiskey sitting on the table next to him. It hadn't been there yesterday.

"Yeah, Councilor Udina himself was talking to me. And...my old Commander dropped by, before I became a Major. He brought me the booze."

"You speak of John Shepard?" Kaidan nearly bolted up in his bed when I mentioned John's name.

"You...you know him?"

"I've worked with him." I wasn't sure what details could be spread about John's involvement with the Collectors. It was common knowledge via extranet sources that John was involved with Cerberus, but he was the only person specifically mentioned. Most of the team could have been under the radar, but there was no mention of Miranda, which I found odd.

"Yeah, so did I."

"Not anymore?" His use of past tense was a little odd, considering that according to John, Kaidan was injured working with him.

"Well, it's a...it's a complicated story, actually, about..."

"If you are speaking of the Cerberus ties, I know of them. I mentioned a mission before."

"So...so you worked with him on that mission? To the Collector base. But you're a drell, and you worked with Cerberus?"

"I worked for Commander Shepard." A firm restatement I'd heard many of the non-human crew members use in that mission.

"And it was that simple? You knew of Cerberus, and their, well..."

"I am near the end of my life. Preservation did not concern me, but the fate of the colonists was something good I could do. A chance few could take. And for John, it was all it needed to be."

"I guess it was the same for Cerberus too." A sharp inhale, a sigh. "Thanks for dropping by, Sere Nuara. Thanks to Councilor Udina, I've actually got a lot to think about, and I'm sure your son doesn't want to be kept waiting."

I tried to ignore the dizzy light-headed feeling as I leaned against the wall.

"You remind me very much of a man I also worked with."

"Yeah?"

"The same mission, another friend to John. Unfortunately, that man did not survive the mission."

"Oh." Kaidan frowned, almost as deeply as John did. There was much of Jacob that I could see in Kaidan, the earnest desire to do good, the hard way he pushed himself. His refusal to accept injustice, even from people he knew.

"I'm sorry." I could detect the sincerity in his voice. "It's never easy to lose a comrade. We lost a friend chasing Saren, too. And then, after that, we lost more when the Collectors...It...wasn't a good time."

"You're speaking of John himself? The destruction of the first Normandy?" Tali had mentioned it to me once, and it had been quite traumatic for her.

"Hm, yeah. It was...I wish I could forget that day. I...was kinda on autopilot for a while after that." It was clear to me Kaidan's body and soul were detached, just as Kolyat was. Loss of a close friend, two years of guilt, followed by the sudden relevation of John being alive, and his personal ties. It would break many. But the philosophies and religion of the drell were dying out, and barely known even among our own species. Humans would find it foreign: Belief in the soul was common, but it was a figurative belief. Differences in thought were considered psychology, secular. Telling all of this to Kaidan would not help him.

"Whether John is or isn't a different person is something I cannot answer, I never knew him before. You are one of the few that knows him well. But John gave a dying drell the chance to save his son. Is that something he would do?" I left Kaidan to his thoughts: Kolyat was here.

_Arashu, goddess of protection, grant me the strength to keep this man safe from any who might do him harm here. Let my eyes see all dangers, my reflexes be swift. Guide me to the path to keep my target safe. And, Arashu, I ask you grant him the power to piece himself together._


	15. Jason Prangley: Marked

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle. Those who actions elevate them above the rank and file." Our CO told us we should definitely catch this while we were on the Citadel. Seats weren't the best in the house, but we could see, that was for sure.

The four Councilors stood on the dais, in front of two men. One was Ambassador Dominic Osoba, the other was in full military dress blues, and stood ramrod straight. The salarian councilor, to the right, had started the ceremony. We'd seen this kind of ceremony before, back at Grissom, we all caught the vids of the first human Spectre, Commander John Shepard, two years ago. But it didn't compare to seeing it happen right in front of us.

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will." The asari councilor continued the ceremony. Next to me, Estella was getting antsy. Maybe it was the bullet she took in her shoulder when we escaped Grissom, but probably not: She was always like that.

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace. Both our first, and our last, line of defense. The safety of the galaxy, is theirs to uphold." The turian councilor kept his eyes locked on the man. I felt my knees buckle just a bit: Every kid dreamed of being a Spectre, and there were some dreams that couldn't be grown out of. And the guy receiving the dream down there, was a biotic, one of the first biotics. He went through all the crap all of us went through: The teasing and fights, calling us freaks. And now he was one of the galaxy's most elite.

"Now, more than ever, is the time for the galaxy's best to show their valor, and none exemplify the best better than the Spectres." Councilor Donnel Udina, who looked like Estella did when she stayed up all night cramming from exams, finished with a very short and not very ornate, speech.

"Councilors, it is an honor to accept." The man in front, Major Kaidan Alenko, bowed his head and was very humble. Applause from the sides erupted, Estella and me included, as he accepted.

I hung around after all the onlookers started to leave. The Major himself turned around when the Councilors left, shook hands with the Ambassador, who had remained quiet the whole time, then walked towards a small crowd of what I supposed was personal onlookers.

_Hangs out with an interesting crowd. And a small one. _There were about five people there, two of them were drell. With Earth under attack, it probably wasn't easy to get someone to attend.

"Prangley, Rodriguez! There you two are." I heard our teacher behind us.

"Yes, Ma'am! Did you catch the ceremony, Ma'am?"

"Don't do ceremonies. Could stand Shepard's for all of twelve seconds. It wasn't a flowery speech that got your ass away from Cerberus."

"Understood, ma'am. And thanks again for getting us those tattoos." I rolled up my sleeve, that batarian down by the docks did a great job. I always thought they were pretty scary, and well, monsters, but I don't know if it was the war or what, but they actually seemed mostly civil.

"Just remember, I didn't get them for you to be eaten by husks. You two are with me, but that doesn't mean I'm picking up the slack. I wanna see husks flying in pieces just like I did at the galactic core."

The Major and his entourage walked right past us, but one of the drell stopped when he saw us. When our teacher noticed him stop, she cracked a slight smile.

"Thane, look at you, still kicking."

"Jack. A pleasure." He nodded slightly. The Major stopped when he noticed Thane wasn't moving, and came over to us.

"This is a friend of yours?" The Major was polite.

"Indeed. Her name is Jack."

"Jacqueline Nought." I don't think I ever heard my teacher use her full name before: I didn't even know it. She was always "Ma'am" or Miss Jack.

"Grissom Academy? They must be the new recruits. I heard some of them were with our troops."

"Jason Prangley, sir!" I saluted.

"Estella Rodriguez!" Our teacher may not have been a stickler for protocol, but Ms. Sanders always made sure we understood what was expected of us.

"At ease, this isn't an inspection."

"Congratulations, sir." Estella reached forward to shake his hand. "It's an honor to meet a Spectre. The best and handsomest...oh crap!" Her face got red, and I surpressed my laugh as much as I could.

"Your flirting is as bad as your barriers, Rodriguez. And I only teach one of `em." Our teacher never stood on formality, and couldn't help but laugh. Major Alenko too, chuckled.

"And you already met a Spectre, Estella. Commander Shepard is one."

"Oh? You met him?" The Major's interest was peaked. "Where?"

"Grissom Academy. We were attacked by Cerberus, and the Commander answered a distress call. Thanks to him and our teacher, we got out all right. " I answered the Major's question.

"And Shepard...he rescued you? From Cerberus? He gunned them down."

"They should have been happy it was him. If I was down there instead of on the second floor, I'd have been doing more than a few potshots." My teacher's voice narrowed, just like she did before she sent out shockwaves that ripped chunks off the walls. Never mentioned Cerberus in her presence: That was something any student learned quickly.

The Major obviously was thinking very deeply, for he didn't even look at us for a second. He pleasantly thanked us for telling him this, that he had to get going. He departed with the drell. Quickly. Wasn't moving that quickly before. What got him so spooked?


	16. Urdnot Bakara: Hope's Tiny Sparks

I saw the Shroud activate as the tomkah made it's way back to the Hollows. The green haze started to lift, and in it's place a spiral of white blossomed across Tuchanka's sky. I had to cover my eyes to see it, Aralakh shined with it's unforgiving eye. But it was beautiful.

I heard Wrex to my side give a laugh. I didn't feel anything, but the cure wouldn't affect me. Back at the Hollows, I made sure Wrex and the other krogan stayed silent until Commander Shepard arrived. No matter what the bleating males thought, it was he who was the hero. He and Mordin.

Shepard's tomkah arrived not longer afterwards. I watched him emerge first, the asari in white striding by his side, and the turian bringing up the rear. Mordin was not with them, and, while the Commander did his best to hide it, the heavy look in his eyes told me much.

"Shepard!" Wrex was too excitable for his own good sometimes. He patted Shepard on the shoulders.

"Good to see you're all right, Wrex."

"Ha! You think I'd miss this?"

"The genophage has ended, Commander." I stepped forward. I'd hoped for so long for this, and now. all I could say was that.

"The krogan owe you the greatest debt, Commander. You've secured our future three times in the course of one day." First with curing the genophage, the second in preventing the salarian dalatrass from sabotaging it, and the third destroying the Reaper poisoning the sky. If I hadn't seen him, touched him with my own hands, I might have thought he was mythology.

"I'm honored." He bowed with humility.

"I am sorry about Mordin. It is truly a shame." I saw the Commander's face twitch, and his frown deepen.

"In the end, it was his decision." I think I had seen Mordin's death in curing the genophage when he tried and failed to save Kurn. Perhaps he saw it to be the only way. But noble deaths did nothing to lessen the suffering of those still alive. Ending the genophage was necessary, but losing Mordin to do so was bitter.

"Tell the turians I'd be happy to show them how krogan win wars. If only we can lure more of the Reapers to Kalros. Once she gets a taste, wonder if she'll want seconds." Commander Shepard did not reply to Wrex, he just stood at the exit to the Hollows, and looked up at Tuchanka's sky, where the cure was still falling delicately.

I approached him.

"It's really overwhelming, to think about it." His voice was very quiet. "Twelve hundred years. And we ended it in one week. I'm sorry, Eve. Mordin told me the procedure was traumatic." So concerned, and so curious, he treated me better than any of the krogan males. The stories Wrex had told of the illustrious Commander Shepard was that he was worthy of respect, a terrifying presence on the battlefield, and an inspiring leader that any krogan would want to be one of his krantt. I'd seen all of that enough to be true, but there was also a great humility in him, and despair, the despair I'd seen in my sisters when they set off to wander the wastes, looking for anything to end the torment of infertility.

"The pain will fade, and all I will remember is what Mordin gave me and my people. And I will not waste it, nor will I forget the wisdom the genophage did impart. The galaxy need not fear another Rebellion."

"It's...I'm sure Mordin had a patter song all ready about the cure. And if he didn't, he could come up with one before we got back to Sur'Kesh. Then he'd talk circles around the dalatrass, and we'd be leaving with one fleet and half of STG, getting the rest when the blackmail circulates around the Citadel." He tried to laugh, but it was forced.

"Commader..." The turian walked over and put a hand on the Commander's shoulder.

"Not very much the Commander, am I, Garrus?"

"John..."

"I'm fine, Garrus." He shrugged the supportive hand off his shoulder, and he turned to me.

"I'm still wrapping my head around everything that's just happened, but I know you'll be a good leader for your people, Eve." He was starting to focus again, have the fierce will I saw when he was prepared to charge the Reaper sitting at the shroud with nothing more than a few guns and two partners.

"Urdnot Bakara is my true name, Commander. A name I could share only with those who deserve the respect of a shaman. And more than that, I know what I must do for my people. I'll remain in the Kelphic Valley and spread the hope you've given us. Rally them to face the Reapers.

"Bakara. I'm honored." He reached inside his hardsuit and gripped something in his hand. I looked and saw it was the piece of crystal I had given him when we talked in the Normandy. It was not a special type of crystal, many of the caves in Tuchanka had them. It was too brittle to be used for anything more than ornamentation, and we had no use for that here.

"A spark of hope, even when things seem darkest. From the Reapers to a single person. You just need to grab it and keep going." A wise philosophy, and one I approved of. Although the Commander was talking softly again, more to himself than to me.

"I've told you my plans, Commander. What will you be doing?"

"I've got EDI ensuring there will be supplies and ships to get the krogan to Palaven. I've got friends in STG I can count on no matter what some dalatrass thinks. But right now, I think I'm headed back to the Citadel. I've got a filthy bartender to meet who likes to tease Liara as much I do..."

"You're not talking about my father are you?" The asari exasperated, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I promised I'd show my shuttle pilot one of the greatest views on the Citadel. And then..." The commander squeezed the crystal a little tighter.

"I've got a friend I've got to talk to. He's probably out of the hospital right now, but I think it's high time we had the talk we've been needing to have."

"And here I thought you two were just going to buy and drink whiskey until you forgot." The turian teased the Commander.

"Hey, now that we're both Spectres, we can requisition the good stuff."

"There's still enough after buying your own weapons?" The Commander laughed with the turian. With another farewell, the commander and his party headed out of the Hollows, bid farewell to Wrex, and left in their shuttle.

"Told you he was something else." And he was, he certainly was.

_You gave the krogan the future, Commander. You have more honor than any of the males and their imagined rivalries and foes. I will shape the future into one the krogan can be proud of. For you, and him. And my hope for you, Commander, is that your hopes can be realized without swallowing you whole._


	17. Councilor Tevos: The Coup

I had been taking my lunch with Donnel, who was again telling me of the crisis of Earth. I understood, even if he thought I didn't. The people of Earth were suffering, but so were the people of Thessia, and we were not prepared to adequately deal with a crisis of this scale. Until we had a solution, a solution that wasn't going to result in complete failure, like Shepard's summit, my most prudent course of action was to ensure the safety of the asari.

"Close to two million people are killed each day on Earth." It was a cruel truth, and I wished it wasn't. But leaving Thessia defenseless to secure a planet that had already fallen, and work on a Prothean weapon, one we didn't even know how it functioned, was not a solution that was feasible.

"From what I hear, Commander Shepard has already rallied the turian and krogan forces." I nearly fired one of my staff for bringing me this report, I thought it was an incredibly ill-conceived joke. But Asari High Command confirmed it: Commander Shepard cured the genophage, and now the krogan were en route to Palaven to combat the Reapers.

"To save Palaven." Donnel scoffed. "And the turian fleet is simply not enough to deal with the Reapers surrounding Earth."

"I must be firm in this, Councilor." Throwing away the lives of asari in a futile effort to save one planet, even a Council world, was not the most prudent course of action.

Donnel was about to say something else, but sharp, piercing sounds, the sound of gunfire, sharply rang from out in the Presidium.

"What was that?" I looked out over the balcony, but couldn't see anything aside from the reservoir, it must have been below us. And then, more shots.

"A riot?" More gunfire, and then, behind me, the sound of boots stomping very quickly. I turned around to see two heavily armored men, faces covered in helmets, levelling rifles at me.

"What do you think you're doing!" Donnel was certainly agitated, but he stood up and glared at the two men.

"Kill the Councilor!" In a high, mechanically sounding voice, one of the soldiers gave an order. I tried to fall down, but my body would not move. I held my breath.

_Bang! _Another gunshot, a sickening _pop_ sound, and I watched as the soldier on the left started to fall over. As I watched him fall, he looked...odd.

_His head. That gunshot tore his head off. _The other soldier turned to face his attacker, but didn't turn completely around before he was lifted into the sky, glowing blue with biotic energy, and was flung past me, over the railing, and into the reservoir below.

"Councilors!" I heard a familiar voice, and turned towards it. Major Alenko, the Spectre appointed not a week ago, hurried over toward us. He had a pistol in his hand, but it wasn't pointed at us, it was clear he was the man that saved us.

"Major Alenko, impeccable timing." Donnel certainly was succinct. Running behind Major Alenko was Sparatus, who looked unharmed. It was fortunate that the Spectre found him before the soldiers did.

"What is going on? Who were those men?" I posed the question to the two of them. I didn't get a chance to even look at those two before the Major killed them.

"Cerberus. They're wearing the same armor they were wearing on Mars." The Major answered. This was bold, even for terrorists. A strike in the heart of the Citadel? I heard more gunfire below us, C-Sec was fighting them in force.

"Goddess be with us." I calmed myself, took a deep breath.

"They specifically mentioned to kill us." Donnel informed the Major of what happened before he arrived.

"Then we should evacuate you to the Destiny Acension, they won't be there." The Major devised a plan quickly. Donnel's decision to grant him Spectre status was an apt one.

"I have a shuttle nearby, Major. Do not worry, I can pilot us there." Donnel was calmer than I thought he'd be, but he stood up to the Cerberus soldiers without flinching, and was relentless in his pursuit of support for Earth.

"What about Councilor Valern? Where is he?" I noticed that the salarian councilor was not with me or with the Major.

"We were to have a meeting about Commander Shepard's decision regarding the krogan, but he informed me at the last minute he had to meet with C-Sec." Sparatus throwing in his lot with Earth did not surprise me, but, after what happened with the genophage, was Valern actually considering it as well? I'd been hearing of a massive split between the dalatrasses and STG on the matter of Earth, with the military casting their lot behind humanity. I'd received messages from many of our own commandos too, desiring to help Earth. But what did that have to do with Citadel Security?

"What about?" Donnel cocked his head.

"I wasn't told."

"Councilors, we're exposed up here." Major Alenko silenced all of us. "I'm sure this conversation can keep until you're on the Destiny Acension."

"You are correct, Major. We'll follow your lead." I stepped towards him.

"Stay low, and follow me. We're not far from the elevators, but Cerberus is relentless, they can be anywhere." Major Alenko took to the lead. I would have liked to have more than one Spectre, or just one armed soldier with us, but my doubts faded when the few Cerberus operatives we did encounter reached us. Major Alenko dealt with them handily.

"Down!" He pulled Sparatus against a wall as a red laser sight shown from a balcony one floor above. Major Alenko made two quick motions of his hands, and I heard the unmistakable sound of a biotic detonation, and the thud of a person hitting the ground.

"Move!" He motioned us to hurry along, and I only caught the barest glimpse of the figure of a woman, sniper rifle by her side, lying motionless on the ground just below the balcony. Snapped her neck when she fell down. Another three armored soldiers tried to accost us further up the way, Major Alenko insisted we take cover in a storefront. I couldn't see, but I heard two explosions, followed by one lone pistol shot, and when the Major told me to move again, I could see three bodies in a heap.

"We're close to the elevator!"

"I'll summon it." Donnel stepped forward and called the elevator.

"Where is C-Sec? Can we hail them? We need to know if Valern is safe with them." The elevator hallway had only one entrance, and the Major was covering it. It was safe to try and think.

"I tried on my omni-tool, Councilor Sparatus. Nothing." I don't remember Donnel trying to reach C-Sec, but I wasn't very close attention to him since lunch. The elevator arrived before we could ask any more questions, and once we were safely on, the Major tapped on his own omni-tool a few times.

"There. That should ensure we're not stopped until we reach the top floor."

"Good." I was out of breath, still trying to process what had happened in my mind. Cerberus was always a danger to the asari, but this was a very bold action. How could they have gotten access to the Citadel like this, Citadel Security had a massive force here, and all ships were checked. Did they have people on the inside?

* * *

><p>We didn't have time to enjoy the quiet, as I heard a loud <em>thud <em>on the roof of our elevator.

"Get down!" Major Alenko grabbed his gun and shot through of the elevator. Fortunately, it reached the top floor very quickly, and we quickly exited, Major Alenko bringing up the rear. The landing pad was clear, but Donnel's shuttle was a smoldering burning wreck.

"They took out the shuttle!" Donnel stamped his foot and cursed.

"There should be others nearby, let's get back to the elevators and..." Major Alenko turned around, but stopped. I followed his gaze and saw in the doorway, slamming the door shut with his omni-tool, was Commander Shepard himself, flanked by Dr. Liara T'Soni and a human I didn't know. All three had their guns drawn, pointed at us.

"Shepard!" Major Alenko stepped forward.

"Kaidan!" The Commander's voice was steely calm, but forceful.

"Shepard...he's blocking our escape, ready to gun us down. I think we've found out who is responsible for this." Behind us, Donnel gave a bold accusation.

"If you're looking for the inside man, Kaidan, turn around! Udina's the one with Cerberus. I just got back from rescuing the salarian councilor. He's safe, but he informed me of what Udina was doing."

"And we're to take a Cerberus operative at his word? For all we know, you're still working for them. Plans like this are right up your alley. Is Valern even alive? Anyone can speak the name of a dead man."

"Kaidan." Commander Shepard ignored Donnel and stared straight at Major Alenko. "Listen to me." How many times had Commander Shepard said that before? He warned us about the Reapers, about the Conduit. And we didn't listen, and this was what happened. Earth and Palaven in shambles, Thessia not much better. Millions, if not billions, dead. Unchecked horrors across the galaxy. Three years we ignored Shepard, and this is what happened.

"I'm overriding the lock. Shepard's keeping us exposed out here for Cerberus to find, even if he doesn't kill us himself." Udina moved towards the console and began to override.

"There are Cerberus troops in the elevator shaft, open that door and we'll be overrun!" The Commander stepped forward, the Major moved in his line of fire. I wanted to speak up, mention our failure in not trusting the Commander. He'd been proven right multiple times.

I heard Udina typing on the console, but my vision was focused on the two Spectres. Neither put their weapons down, their gaze was locked on each other. I couldn't see Major Alenko's face from where I was, but Commander Shepard's face danced with many emotions. Mouth pursed in determination, jaw steeled in place. But I could see his eyes, and the very slight twitching of his face. He was looking down the barrel of a gun, at his friend. The tableau of it stole any words from my mouth.

I saw the Commander move his mouth, but he didn't say anything, so my translator wouldn't have picked it up. A second later, the scene shattered, and Major Alenko lowered his arm, and stepped to the side.

"Councilor Udina. Stand back." He turned around and pointed his gun back at Donnel, while Commander Shepard and his allies stepped forward. Donnel ignored them, and continued.

"Enough." I stepped forward and grabbed him by the wrist, preventing him from typing. In a flash, he shoved me to the ground. Rather then return to the console, he reached into his vest and pulled out a pistol. I tried to scamper backward, but only moved slightly before I heard a gunshot. Donnel twitched, and I could see a pool of red, the color of human blood, spreading in a circle from his chest.

He fell down as Sparatus helped me to my feet.

"I am fine." I answered the unasked question. Commander Bailey cut his way through the doors moments later, and told me the story of how the operatives escaped into the keeper tunnels, and confirmed that Councilor Valern was safe. Commander Shepard simply accepted the praise Sparatus and I offered humbly, as he always did. The time in the Terminus Systems, with Cerberus, didn't change the man he was: A man more virtuous than a justicar, who could bear the weight of the future of the galaxy on his shoulders. A man worthy of all trust.

It seemed...even my wisdom could become clouded.

* * *

><p>I met with Major Alenko near the reservoir underneath one of the bridges. He had gone with Commander Bailey to inform him of what had happened, and I had summoned him for a meeting several hours afterward, to give C-Sec time to ensure the Citadel was free of any soldiers. I had wanted to meet with Commander Shepard, but he had been unavailable since Udina's death.<p>

"I'm glad you're safe, Madame Councilor."

"The Council is ordering an investigation into Donnel Udina's activities. We are aware you played no part in his plans. Your Spectre status will be upheld. I just wanted to make sure you knew this, Major."

"Thank you, for your trust, Councilor. I want to serve in any way that I can."

"Spectre Jondum Bau has already informed us that he and many of the Spectres have pledged themselves to retaking Earth. Along with the entire hanar flotilla. Commander Shepard saved the entire homeworld of Kahje from one insane diplomat."

"That sounds like him, Councilor."

"I also wanted to give you my thanks, Major. You saved our lives. The Council will be coordinating with Admiral Hackett logistically on getting our forces ready to combat the Reapers. The asari will join your fight, and help take back Earth. Take the fight to the Reapers and stop them, Major, that is your assignment. However you decide to do that is up to you. The Council trusts you, and we will support however you decide to go about it."

"That's...a tough choice. Admiral Hackett offered me a position that's a good fit, but...if I get to choose...Hm, I've gotta think." The Major leaned against one of the bridge's support pillars.

I heard a large splash as something fell into the reservoir behind me.

"I'm Garrus Vakarian and this is my new favorite spot on the Citadel!" A very loud voice called out in triumph. The Major burst out laughing when he heard it.

"Goddess be with you." I knew where the Major would go, and I accepted it. He was a Spectre, like Commander Shepard, and they were to get the job done, no matter how difficult. The specifics were left up to the individual. I just had to believe they would succeed. It may have been three years in the making, but now, I did believe in Commander Shepard.


	18. Garrus Vakarian: Bottles in the Sky

I'd told John to meet me near the elevators, that I had a surprise for him. I'd actually been planning this a while, but after what happened with the coup, I thought to surprise John with it. I'd stayed with Councilor Valern, ensured Thane was taken to Huerta Memorial, while John took Vega and Liara to deal with Udina. It didn't look good, but Thane had been terminally ill for months, so it hadn't looked good for a while. I made sure John knew where Thane was taken, and I let him go alone: He didn't want to be around others when he lost a friend. When he came back up the elevators, his walk was slow, as if he was walking through water. John hadn't been sleeping well for a while, but he looked even more tired than he did when Ash or Jacob died. It was more than just what happened to Thane.

What I could do, both for John and for me, was take his mind of it, have some fun. And since we already had a lounge on the Normandy, and I couldn't get into the Spectre Offices to go to the apparently amazing shooting range, I remembered there was always something else I wanted to do.

On top of the Presidium, I could feel a strong wind, as I stepped out of the car. One hundred and some regulations why this was forbidden, and screwing them all was completely worth it.

"What do you think?" I asked John as he stepped out beside me.

"You've always wanted to come up here and do this?"

"Better than Reapers. And after saving the Citadel twice, I think we've earned the right to break all the damn red tape."

"All else fails, call in the Spectre. Think I could jump into the pool from here?" John pulled his jacket off.

"With all the upgrades from the Lazarus Project, who knows. EDI doesn't get her body wet. Besides, if your swimming is anything like your dancing, I'd be laughing too hard to help stop you from making an ass of yourself. Or save you from drowning."

"Hell of a view." John looked out over the Presidium, and he was right.

"You're not going to confess your undying love for me, are you?" He smiled and turned to me. "I've been getting that a lot."

"I'll keep it friendly, you're not female enough for my tastes. But loyalty works. You're the best damn soldier I've ever served with, and the best damn friend I've ever had."

"Galaxy's going to hell, Garrus. Times like these, everyone's looking to me." And then he smiled.

"That's why it's good to remember the people who were beside me when everyone thought I was crazy."

"You are crazy, John. You're just the best kind. Now, I think it's time for the real reason we came up here." I went back in the car and pulled out two rifles. Long range, bolt-action. Loaded with blanks.

"Time to see who the best shot really is." John laughed as I tossed him one of the guns.

"Ten paces and fire? You use pistols for those. Remind me to show you some old human Western movies." I knew them, all theatrics. John and I were both top-notch with all sorts of weapons, but there was nothing like the feel of shots from long range, the sizzle of the heat sink, knowing that it was one shot, or nothing.

"Why don't you start?" I picked up a bottle and threw it. Expertly, John shot it from the sky with nary a glance.

"That was easy. Give me a hard one." John didn't take his eyes off the sights.

"Staring down the sight, John?"

"Throw it." John instructed. I did so, and again, it shattered. He still didn't put the gun down.

"Save some for me, John." He put the rifle down as I said that.

"Sorry. Just needed to shoot something. Actually glad you thought of this. I'll throw now." He handed me the rifle, I loaded a fresh thermal clip as John picked up the bottles.

"Shoot something?" I brought the rifle to bear as John threw the first bottle. East to hit as an Eclipse LOKI mech, and I shattered that bottle in one shot.

"Liara told me you pulled the trigger on Udina."

"One shot to the heart, I was standing to the side, didn't have the angle. Kaidan shot him." He threw another one, this time with a spin. Still shot it.

"Single shot to the heart, that's not easy. And Liara's told me his biotics are as strong as her mother's were."

"Yeah, he's gotten a lot better. A lesser man would have been killed by the Cerberus AI."

"And you nearly had to pull the trigger on him, first." John's shoulders slumped, and he threw the last bottle very sloppily. Still managed the shot. I returned the gun to John before he asked for it.

"I didn't think it would come to that." John loaded the clip and was ready to shoot. "And it didn't." John nearly lost his grip on the rifle.

"But...for a second there, my pistol was lined up with his gut, my finger was on the trigger. It wasn't concussive rounds, like you, Archangel. It would have killed him." He fired on the bottle, and he relaxed a bit.

"I couldn't even breathe, I just...saw his finger on the trigger, my finger on the trigger. And then it didn't happen. Kaidan stepped aside, and he took out Udina. I watched him shoot him. Just watched him." John didn't tell me to throw the next bottle. He just looked down the sight at the sky of the Presidium. Then he put the gun down, stepped towards the edge, and looked down at the reservoir below.

There was nothing down there, nothing but water and shattered glass from all the obliterated bottles.

"Am I the same person I've always been, Garrus?" John's voice was very soft. I'd never seen him like this. Even the worst I'd seen him, when Ash died, he did his best not to show it, insisted that he was fine, and made sure no one else felt bad, like Joker or Kaidan, anyone who might have blamed themselves.

"You're John Shepard, the only person you can be."

"Am I, Garrus? I didn't let Miranda shoot her traitor of a friend. I didn't let Mordin shoot that butcher of a student. I didn't let Jack kill that crazy guy in her cell. I didn't even let you kill Sidonis. And I just let Kaidan shoot Udina." It was true, John never took shots unless he knew there was no other choice. He believed in mercy, was a peacemaker. It was how the mission through the Omega 4 relay had any semblance of success, John was the only thing stopping us from killing each other.

"Was I so angry at Cerberus, and Kaidan for not believing me, I let him gun Udina down, so he'd believe it wasn't me?"

"Udina would never have come in quietly, and he was crazy and desperate enough to pull the trigger on Tevos. The only thing I've ever known you to do is save the galaxy, one fight at a time, and that's what you did here. And Kaidan pulled the gun away from you before he fired, and you know he doesn't move without thinking." I'm still not exactly sure how I strung the words together: I was never as good with them as John, or even Ash, with her poets. But somehow I managed to keep my head clear, and tell John exactly what it was he knew already.

"Come on. Now it's time for the final round. One round, one bottle, switch off, first person to miss loses." John smiled again, and took the first shot. Him, me, him, me, and then he missed. I cheered as loudly as I could. The best shot, and best friend, in the galaxy. It was a good day to be Garrus Vakarian.

* * *

><p>"Much better than a hanar poetry reading." I chuckled as we got back on the ground. What happened on the walkways stayed on the walkways.<p>

"I was only joking, Garrus." John regained the bounce in his step as we walked to the Normandy.

"So if I ask EDI about your extranet bookmarks..." John continued to laugh as we rounded the corner, and he stopped, as we both saw Kaidan leaning against the airlock of the Normandy, waiting for us.

"John, I need to go check on the refugees from Palaven. Make sure the coup didn't leave them short any supplies." I left the two of them and headed back to the elevator. I wasn't Joker with his predisposition for eavesdropping, and I made it back to the Normandy within an hour.

I saw Kaidan in the starboard deck, looking out the window. Samara always loved that view. He smiled when he saw me.

"Good to see you, Garrus. Looks like we'll be working together again. When we get a chance, you'll have to show me what's different about this new Normandy."

"Well, to start with, we drink a lot more." I pointed over to the lounge. Kaidan laughed, and said he'd meet me there as soon as he and John got back from a mission to Noveria, regarding some Cerberus fighters the Alliance could repurpose. He headed down to the shuttle deck to get to it, while I laughed to myself.

We could always use another friendly gun, especially if he was as improved as John and Liara had said he would be. But doubts would be eating away at John the longer this war went on, I knew full well they were eating at me. They ate at Kaidan too, but he overcame them to stand by John. At this point, with Earth and Palaven burning, and all the ruthless calculus I had seen from the advice I needed to give to Primarch Victus, doubt was going to be the only thing to stop John now.


	19. Samara: Living by the Code

I did not think I would come here. But duty demanded it, just as it demanded much from me. And like all of duty's demands, I served without hesitation.

Commandos had already been sent to the monastery, a fear that the Ardat-Yakshi would get loose. The galaxy had already feared Morinth for centuries, and if it hadn't been for Commander Shepard, it would still fear her.

_Bang, Bang. _I did not see many any of the commandos still alive, just forces of the Reapers. Corrupted batarians, a type I'd not seen before, but they fell to my weapons and biotics all the same.

There were footsteps on the balcony above me, but they didn't sound like the Reapers. Another unit of commandos?

"Spread out." The voice that came from the balcony was not asari. It was human, a male. One that I recognized. The footsteps drew closer, and from over the balcony, I saw the familiar face of John Shepard.

"Samara!" He recognized me. It had been only six months, but John looked a lot different. Thinner, paler.

"It is good to see you again, Commander Shepard." I couldn't think of a better ally to have. He acted in a way very similar to the Justicar Code, defending the innocent, taking on all injustices. I liked humanity as a species, but he was an exemplar of them, as it should be.

"What brings you here?"

"My daughters." I informed him of my two remaining daughters, Rila and Falere. They were never showed violence as Morinth did, and lived very peacefully in the monastery. But when contact with it ceased, the Justicar Code demanded I investigate. Ardat-Yakshi could not be allowed to roam free.

"Asari High Command asked us to investigate. They didn't tell us this was an Ardat-Yakshi monastery, though." A young asari maiden in white leaned on the balcony beside Shepard.

"Samara, we're here to help. Maybe your daughters can tell us why the Reapers are here."

"That is my belief as well." Aside from leaping over the balcony, there was no way for the Commander to reach my position, so we parted ways while he investigated the upper floors.

* * *

><p>When I saw Falere in the corner, futilely attempting to fend off one of the Reaper's ground forces with her biotics, I had to intervene. I leapt down between them, mustered as much power as I could, and sent the creature colliding into the wall. And then a bullet to it's head.<p>

I heard Shepard and his team walking down the stairs towards us. I looked at Falere, who was panicked, but not injured.

"Mother." She was surprised to see me.

"John, this is Falere, my youngest daughter. She lives here in this monastery with her elder sister, Rila."

"Rila, they've taken her!" Falere interrupted before I could reverse the introductions.

"What?" Did she say what I thought she said.

"Who, the Reapers? What do they want with you?" John put his rifle away as the asari stepped forward, along with a third man I did not recognize. Black hair, body armor in Systems Alliance colors.

"They are...they're harvesting us. Turning us into those." Falere indicated a Reaper corpse on the ground. I took a closer look and saw that indeed, it looked very much like an asari.

"Oh, goddess." John's asari comrade looked disconcerted, and truly it was an awful fate for anyone.

"If Rila's in trouble, Falere, we'll get her out of here safely." John reassured her. Such selfless compassion, even to someone he had just met. Swearing my oath as a justicar, I never would have imagined following the Code leading me to John, but I am truly thankful that it did.

"You would...just like that? Even the commandos wanted us killed." Falere was confused. She had always dealt with stigma and prejudice, viewed ever with suspicion just like all other Ardat-Yakshi.

"The Commander's not like that." The black-haired man stepped up. It was true, there were many times when John showed mercy, it was the part in which we differed. The Code compelled me to kill the wicked, John only killed when there was no other choice. When I was involved, there was no opportunity for peaceful solutions, they had already past. There was much about John that could be naïve, but I couldn't argue with what that mercy accomplished.

"We'll get this done, Samara. I promise." He looked at me, with those eyes, those same piercing blue eyes. And I remembered that night, on the ship. When I told him he was a dear friend to me, and he told me it was more, that I deserved to find happiness. I could have been that way with him but it could not be. I could not be the same woman he was without my self-control.

Falere informed us that Rila was taken to the Great Hall. I would go ahead with her, while John and his team ensured the rest of the abominations here were destroyed. Falere had some level of biotic ability, but it was no match for the merciless Reaper forces entrenched here.

* * *

><p>I reached the Great Hall before John did, Falere by my side. The commandos had already set up their explosives before they had been killed. At the moment, I saw no Reaper forces inside.<p>

"Rila!" Falere ran ahead of me, towards a robed asari lying right beside the bomb. It was Rila, lying peacefully as if asleep. I could see no signs of violence upon her as I approached.

"Rila! Rila!" Falere gently shook her, and I could see Rila stir. There was something wrong, a Reaper would not just leave her here.

Rila started to stand up, and rose her head in order to make eye contact. Her eyes opened, and they were jet, sullen black, as if she was about to mate. She grabbed Falere and attempted to strangle her. Before I could react, John had arrived, hitting Rila in the face with the butt of his rifle. She fell to the floor.

"Why...why would she..." Falere was gasping, but unhurt.

"She is being turned into one of the Reapers forces." That was the only thing it could be.

"No...Not Rila!" Falere protested, and her earnestness moved me, but it wasn't true. John was about to comfort Falere, before he was interrupted by loud, shrill screaming. We'd been hearing it ever since we came to the monastery, but it was louder here. As if it was just on the other side of the room.

"More of those mutated asari!" John and the black-haired man took cover by the railings as lithe, wispy mutated creatures came from the other end of the hall.

I joined in the firefight as John directed the crossfire. One of the creatures disappeared in a blur of biotic energy, and flung herself closer to us.

"Liara, Kaidan, now!" John called to his partners. At once, the asari threw out a ball of warping biotic energy, while the other human also launched a biotic wave of his own. They converged on the creature, detonated, and ripped it in half. John fired upon the other one, and it twitched, fell down, and eventually died.

"We're clear. For now." John reloaded and put his rifle at his side, but Rila began to stir again. John's two partners, Liara and Kaidan, kept their weapons at the ready as she stood back up.

"Mother!" Falere called, but I was watching Rila too. If she truly was one of the Reaper's forces, then I would have to kill her.

"Falere!" Rila's eyes opened, but they did not look as they did before. They were blue, normal.

"Quick, you have to leave, now!" She insisted.

"Leave? Rila, yes, we'll get you out of here."

"No. You can't. I can still hear them. It's too late for me. But, it's not for you. Go, now. I'll deal with all of them."

"How?" Falere asked, timidly. Rila opened her hand and revealed that she had the detonator for the bomb.

I understood, even if Falere didn't. The Code permitted such action to destroy these Reapers.

"No!" Falere refused, but I knew there was no other way. I took her with me even as she struggled. Rila only smiled as she held the detonator in her hand, calling out her love for Falere, and for me.

I heard the bomb go off as the elevator made it's ascent. Falere hit the doors and fell to her knees, but the elevator did not stop it's ascent.

* * *

><p>I could say nothing to console Falere as we exited the monastery. There was too much going inside of my own mind. Just like with Morinth, there was no happy outcome this could have. But that didn't mean it couldn't break me.<p>

"Falere." John took the consoling route in my stead, just as he always did. "Rila obviously cared a great deal for you. It was the only way she could resist the Reaper indoctrination." Speaking kind words, even as his own heart was breaking. John didn't know Rila, but he grieved whenever an innocent was lost, and he sympathized with me, just as he did when I killed Morinth.

"Falere." I stood before her. "The monastery is destroyed. And an Ardat-Yakshi cannot live outside of one." I pulled out my pistol. The Code was clear, they were too dangerous to let live. Even if it was my daughter, who'd never been violent. An Ardat-Yakshi must stay in a proper monastery, or be killed. And if I ever failed in that Code, there was only one other option.

"I love you, Falere." I placed the gun to my head. "This is the only way you can be saved." I shut my eyes, and thought of Falere, of Rila, and the endless respect and love I had for them for living their lives dominant over the curse of their genes.

Before the trigger came, I felt someone grab my arms and hold me to the side.

"Stop!" It was the voice of the black-haired man, Kaidan, and I opened my eyes to see him behind me, struggling to keep my hands restrained.

"Let. Me. Go." I ordered him.

"No! What do you think you're doing." Kaidan was as distressed as Falere was.

"I will not kill her! There is no other choice!"

"Yes, there is. If Falere wanted to leave, she would have. The shuttle was right there. But she didn't."

"I..." I started.

"I know what the Code demands, Mother." Falere's voice became calmer, sterner, firm. "And I know what my Code demands. I honor it, not a wall. I can stay here in these ruins, live my life." I considered Falere's words. A proper monastery was it's tenements, just as the Code was. No matter where I was, the Code remained the same. It was that Code Falere needed to live by. And this monastery? The bottom floors were destroyed, but it could still be lived in. Falere kept it's rules to her heart. And she would live by them. In her face, I saw the same will as Rila, resisting everything to keep Falere safe.

"Then...the Code is satisfied." I was humbled, humbled by own daughter. Kaidan let go of my hands, and Falere embraced me. I tried to keep my emotions in check, but not enough that I could not hug her back.

"You could stay, if you like." John offered, and it was a beautiful thought, but the Code demand I join the fighting when an enemy reared it's head.

"I will join this war, if you would have me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." The relief on John's face was obvious, even with my limited interactions with humans.

Falere made her way back to the elevator shaft. I watched her walk inside, head held high, proud of the choices she was making. I was prouder of her now than I was when she willingly joined the monastery.

"Kaidan!" I heard John call over to his friend as they were making their way back to their shuttle.

"Yes?" He turned to face him.

"You...you saved her life. I know Samara, she would have gone through with it if you weren't there." He did know me very well.

"You would have done the same thing, John. I was just closer." John did not respond to Kaidan's claim. He just put his hand on Kaidan's shoulder, shut his eyes, and took a deep breath. I got the sense that both of them wanted to say more to each other, but they didn't. They went back into their shuttle and departed from the planet.

_You have great friends, John. And you inspire the greatest in all of us. Even me. Surround yourself with them before the burdens cause you to fall._


	20. Gavin Archer: Make It Stop

"Commander Shepard!" I stuck out my hand for a handshake. While I wasn't surprised to not receive one back, I wasn't expecting the fist to the face I did receive.

"Nice to see you." He spat out dismissively as I pulled myself to my feet.

"John! What's going on?" Another human beside him called out in surprise as Commander Shepard backed away from me.

"Let me introduce you. Kaidan, this is Gavin Archer, a Cerberus scientist who forcibly hooked up his own autistic brother to a VI to communicate with the geth, and drove him insane. "

"Ex-Cerberus scientist." It was the only correction I could make. I was a monster who committed an atrocity, but I'd no longer support the Illusive Man's plans.

"After I saw what happened, I rescued his brother David and took him to Grissom Academy. I'd hoped never to see you again, Gavin. Why are you here?" He didn't use my title, and spit my name like it was a curse. He had every right to hate me, he couldn't hate me anymore than I hated myself.

"Commander, I can't even begin to tell you how awful I feel about Project Overlord. It's...it's why I shut the whole thing down. After David was taken to Grissom, the Illusive Man sent me dossiers on other people who had abilities similar to David's, he wanted another test subject. I...refused. I destroyed all of it's data and told the Illusive Man I wasn't becoming more of a monster then I was already." It didn't take long to decide to do that. When I read those dossiers, all I could think of was David's scream.

_"Quiet! Make it stop!" _Every night for the last six months my nightmares were haunted with that scream. I'd wake up covered in enough sweat to fill a bathtub. Then I'd stare at the ceiling and wonder how I turned myself into a demon. I loved science ever since I was a boy on Terra Nova, and wanted to use it to do something great.

I couldn't do it again, add another scream to David's, make them suffer. Potentially turn another brother into me. All I could do now was what David was screaming. All I could do was make it stop.

"So you shut it down, and now you're here."

"Do you...do you have word from the Academy? It had gone dark recently." I could never speak to my brother, I could never face him. But I could at least know that he was safe there. But when communications went offline, I feared the worst.

Commander Shepard crossed his arms across his chest and said nothing. The pit in my stomach grew, my entire body began to shake.

"Please, Commander!" I leaned forward and grabbed him by the arms. He stepped backward, I didn't let go, and was dragged with him.

"Is David all right?"

"You care now?" I never stopped caring. I thought I was doing the right thing: David didn't want a war with the geth anymore than I did. I thought he might have even liked it, to communicate with those who thought in mathematics like he did. How wrong I was.

"Didn't you go to Grissom Academy, John? I remember seeing some of the biotics at the Citadel, but I never heard of a David Archer." Kaidan, the Commander's friend, wasn't any more touched by my display than the Commander.

"David wasn't a biotic. And Cerberus attacked the school, Gavin. They were looking to implant the students there with Reaper tech and control them." I fell to the ground. Could that have happened to David? Cerberus would certainly want to take his mind for their own. Even without Project Overlord, they'd still do those things to him.

"But I saw David there. He helped some students create advanced shielding that's being used in the war. Right now, he's with Kahlee Sanders working on a project that just might save the galaxy from the Reapers." I fell to the floor in relief. I didn't care if anyone saw me in this state.

"Then...you saved David again. Thank you, Commander." I pulled myself back up.

"I don't need your thanks. Everything you put David through should have driven him crazy. But he's trying to save the galaxy, and one of the first things out of his mouth was to apologize to my AI for trying to upload himself into her." He gripped me by the collar tightly.

"John...we have another purpose here. Doctor Cole will need our coordination." A metallic, female voice, from the sounds of it, the Cerberus Enhanced Defense Intelligence, came from an infiltration unit.

"Yes, EDI, thank you. Goodbye, Gavin." The Commander walked up the stairs, to where Brynn and the other scientists were gathering their supplies to evacuate. My work had been destroyed already as it should have been. All I was now was an extra body. I wasn't sure what else I could do, I was no good with the few children we had here.

My hand brushed against the pistol I had kept with me. Some nights, when the nightmares were worse, I looked at it for a while. I don't know if it was cowardice or selfishness that caused me to eventually put it down, God knew I had ample supplies of both. Or maybe hope, that I could one day beg for David's forgiveness.

_Romantic. _I cursed myself. I had no right to any of it.

* * *

><p>The first shuttle, carrying children and teenagers, was away. I could hear cheering as the AA guns blasted Cerberus shuttles out of the sky, and the first shuttle escaped over the horizon.<p>

But then, I could hear the skylights shattering and the sound of shouts and heavy boots. Cerberus had airdropped into the base. And we didn't have many people who knew how to shoot.

I pulled out my pistol as I could hear frantic running down the stairs. Brynn was taking them three at a time, as bullets whizzed around her. Two heavily armored soldiers were pursuing.

"Stop!" I ordered them, as the unarmed Brynn scampered away. I didn't care anymore what happened to me. David was with Kahlee Sanders, the Alliance, Cerberus would never get their hands on him if he was on that galaxy-saving project or whatever it was. He didn't need to see his monster of a brother again.

"Doctor Archer!" The trooper shouted, and both raised their rifles. I could never kill them before I was gunned down: I didn't have deflector shields or armor, or anything. But maybe I could get one of them, give Brynn and the others a few seconds. It was the only good thing I could do now. Hardly redemption, but...

I never got the chance to shoot, or be shot. The two soldiers were roughly slammed against the wall with biotics, then collapsed screaming in pain as a powerful incendiary ignited upon them. Down the steps ran Commander Shepard and his entourage.

"Enemy forces are amassing outside, but the inside is clear." EDI spoke to the Commander.

"Copy, EDI, take cover by the doors, I'll take point. Kaidan, on the left. Doctor Webber and Doctor Cole will pilot the third shuttle and extract us when the second one is away." The hanger doors open, and I chased down where Brynn had ran off too. She was piloting the shuttle, and I climbed in the back.

"You're the last one, Gavin." Doctor Webber was injured, but still holding a rifle and leaning against the side, ready to open fire when the doors opened.

Brynn piloted the shuttle over to the landing pad, and I could see a huge battalion of Cerberus's forces, including a large heavy mech. It pinned down Commander Shepard and his team, standing between him and our shuttle.

They were manned craft, couldn't be hacked. And it was keeping the Commander rooted in place while other soldiers moved to surround him.

Quickly, I punched some commands on my omni-tool. I didn't have any grenades or other technical explosives combat engineers used, but I knew my way around machines.

I jammed the mech's rockets first. They couldn't be hacked, but they could be damaged. Before I could move my sabotage to the guns, it tried to fire it's rockets, and it exploded.

With the mech destroyed, the Commander turned his attention to the troops, who didn't last long under his assault. There were still more coming, but the Commander was able to make his way to the shuttle. Webber was providing covering fire as much as he could for an injured man, the soldiers were too far away for me to do anything.

Once inside, the Commander called for Brynn to fly, and she took off quickly.

"We got out of there. All thanks to you, Commander Shepard." Brynn sighed with relief from the cockpit.

"Where will you go now?" Kaidan asked. "I doubt many places will be safe from Cerberus."

"I don't plan on hiding anymore, hiding left us trapped there hoping you would show up. We might be scientists, but I know all of us would like to fight back." Brynn was radiant, and affirmative.

"I'll send word to Admiral Hackett. There's a project called the Crucible that needs the brightest minds the galaxy has to offer."

"Is that..that's the project you have David working on?" I interrupted.

"Yeah. That's the one. He's one of the brightest minds the galaxy has. Too bad he got a brother like you."

"Hey, that's not fair, Gavin was the one who..." Doctor Webber rallied to my defense, but I stopped him. What difference would it make if the Commander knew I jammed that mech? I was still a monster who tortured his own brother.

"Doctor Archer is still one of the foremost experts on synthetic intelligence. He can only benefit the construction of the Crucible." I was surprised to see EDI also sticking up for me, but she was probably just stating a fact.

"We need that Crucible to work, and we need the best. I just can't believe it's you." Commander Shepard took a seat on the shuttle and refused to look at me. Working on a project to save the galaxy. A project with David, no less.

I wasn't ready to be forgiven, and I didn't consider working on this project to be so. But I was ready to do something better with the science I loved so much. Perhaps this is why the Commander didn't pull that trigger when he took David away from me, perhaps he thought something like this would happen in the future.

I saw Kaidan, the Commander's partner, look at me strangely for a second as the shuttle exited the atmosphere towards the Commander's ship. Did he figure out what I did with the mech? EDI would almost certainly have done so. But did it truly even matter?


	21. Tali'zorah vas Normandy: Welcome Aboard

"Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, reporting for duty!" I held my head up as I as I could when I walked into the War Room. It was a formality, no matter what Raan had said. I was too young to be a real Admiral, and in the shadow of the previous Admiral, my own father.

But still, when I saw John's face turn into that smile of his that I loved, it felt real enough to me.

"Tali. Good to see you." John never stood on formality, and had an open door policy with anyone, even when I was just a kid on Pilgrimage.

Raan and the other Admirals explained to him about the war, that stupid idiotic plan, even if it was for the homeworld. Yes, Xen's ladar grenades were an amazing invention, but...there was a chance for peace. The geth didn't want war, according to Legion, and I believed it. I'd gun or hack anything that threatened the safety of my people, but if it didn't...

Only Zaal'Koris agreed with me. I knew he'd be my ally, but it was still odd to think about. It was Raan who I had trouble looking in the face. I thought she'd agree, and understand. But she said she was tired of aimlessly flying the sky.

But John was here now. If anyone knew how to make peace, and end these wars with few people hurt, it was him.

"It is good that you are here, John." I stepped out into the conference room with him. "I heard about Earth, and..." To say nothing of everything else that had happened to him. Ever since the Reapers invaded, had John even slept? He looked so thin, and he leaned against the wall as if he needed support to stop himself from falling over.

"Right now, Tali, I have to help the Fleet. I need it if I want to help Earth. It's the only way." I would have ordered the Fleets myself if I had that sort of authority. But Han wanted nothing more than a fight, Xen wanted to test her toys, Raan wanted the homeworld, and what little would follow me would never be enough.

"Why don't we head up to your cabin?" I would have to be the Admiral around the others. As much as John had a talent for politics, he despised it. John nodded, and led the way. Still the same Normandy, only without the Cerberus logo everywhere.

* * *

><p>John's cabin was serene. I'd only been in it once, although I could have come anytime. He always came to see me. He never spent much time in it, so it was very clean.<p>

"Tali. I know you have to be the Admiral downstairs, but here, you're just my crew, and guest, Are you worried about the war?"

"You're here, John, no, I'm not worried. I'm more worried about you. I'm really sorry about Earth." The first thing John did was hug me when we found my father's body. I returned it for him now. I heard him inhale slowly. He was taller then me, so I leaned my head against his chest. I could feel his heart beating.

"There you go again, Tali, you always think of everyone else." He had said that to me before, but he never followed his own advice.

"I'm going to bring every damn ship I can to Earth and take it back. Besides, Mindoir was my home, I made peace with losing that a long time ago. I'm more worried about Garrus, and Kaidan. They just watched their homes go up in flames."

"Kaidan? He's here?"

"Yeah. He's a Spectre now. And he learned from me, so his first week in, he assassinated Councilor Udina. It took me a month to mutiny and jet off to Ilos. I feel lazy, and old, and Kaidan's older than me so that makes it worse!" I liked seeing that laugh of John's. It brought that sparkle to his eyes I hadn't seen in a long time.

"I thought after Horizon, you two..." I still remembered that dark look in Kaidan's eyes back at Jump Zero, his anger at John for the mission to batarian space.

"It was tense, Tali. Real tense. But we've had each others backs for a long time, and we understand each other now. He'll be coming with us on the dreadnought. Those Reaper upgrades didn't prevent the geth from being crushed into cubes with biotics, did they? Or being shot in the face with my new sniper rifle?"

I couldn't help but laugh. It almost made me forget John's thin face. Or the empty bottles of what I gathered to be salarian whiskey sitting on the desk next to his private terminal.

"I'd better get back, before the Admirals start to ask questions."

"Tali, we're going to save your people."

"Yes, I know." I liked hearing him say it. It didn't look like he was saving himself much, though. And he told me I cared too much about everyone else.

* * *

><p>I moved my way to the airlock when we were getting close to the dreadnought. Shepard had his helmet and breather on, while Kaidan was meeting us at the airlock.<p>

"Good to see you, Tali. Just like old times." I couldn't see him through his helmet, but he sounded sincere, and warm. Like he did those times he asked me about life on the Migrant Fleet. Or that time we hacked and sabotaged dozens of mechs dealing with that rogue VI on Earth's Moon. He still needed to use a Nexus, but for what he had, he was very good at it.

"Well, I think we have a lot more medals than before. Isn't that right, Major?"

"Yes, Admiral. And Garrus is head of a Reaper task force, and I when I updated now-Major Kirrahe of our mission, he told me to pass along his regards."

"It looks like only John hasn't been promoted." He turned to John and laughed.

"I might not have more medals but I bet you both a thousand credits the Reapers will be screaming my name as they sob their way back to dark space and drink away their wounds." John did enjoy it.

"We could pawn some of our new medals, Kaidan." I didn't let that one slip. Kaidan laughed, and so did John. Until Joker had to ruin it by telling us the docking tube had been damaged, so John had to go by himself. He slipped on a pair of mag-boots as we moved away from the airlock.

"It's good having you back, Tali."

"You just said that, Kaidan. But you could say it more often."

"I meant for John. You've changed in six months."

"So have you, Kaidan." After all, he was here, by John's side. But I kept that to myself. On that dreadnought, my life would constantly be in danger and Kaidan would save it with his biotics, his rifle, or even that 'better-shielded' Logic Arrest. That meant more right now than Horizon. And John had forgiven him. John may be merciful, but he only brought the trustworthy by his side to a war zone.

"Tali, you're gonna hate me for this, but I'm looking at your homeworld right now through a hole in the docking tube." I heard John on my communicator.

"I'll be walking on it soon enough. And I'll have my house on the homeworld." With Mother and Father gone, it would be empty, but I think they'd smile on me.

Kaidan put his hand on my shoulder. He must have heard from Shepard, or maybe he could just tell from my voice what I was thinking.

I would be fine. I wouldn't fall down. I saw those empty bottles in John's room, and he was having a hard enough time without worrying about the rest of us. I gripped my shotgun as I steered John over the communicator to an empty docking port so we could board.


	22. Shala'Raan vas Tonbay: Uncertainty

I was ready to charge Gerrel with treason.

"I was acting within my authority. The Heavy Fleet is mine to command, Shala." I wasn't about to hear his excuses now. We were here to retake the homeworld, not blow up everything we could see.

"Destroying a ship carrying a member of the Admirality Board and Commander Shepard?" He was lucky I allowed the Patrol Fleet to give him a firing line. He'd be nothing more than dead in the sky without them.

"We had an opportunity, the geth dreadnought would not have stayed offline forever. We had to destroy it." I heard footsteps coming from the quantum entaglement communicator as Commander Shepard finished speaking with Admiral Steven Hackett. If Shepard or any of his crew had been killed, I would have let Han explain that himself.

"Commander, you understand, don't you." Han looked to the Commander. "You're military. You understand that dangers are expected and orders change quickly."

"What I understand, Admiral, is that you broke ranks from your flotilla and attacked a geth dreadnought when you should have been sending your liveships and civilians through the mass relay. What I understand is that you put the lives of two Systems Alliance marines and your own Admiral at great risk. You treat all your allies this way?"

"The military benefits..." Han didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before Commander Shepard punched him in the stomach, knocking him down.

"You're a loose cannon, and a danger to your own people. Get the hell off of my ship!" The Commander's sharp orders echoed through the War Room, and, with a slight lamp, Gerrel left the room.

"Commander Shepard, as Admiral of the Patrol Fleet..." I started, but he held up his hand to silence me.

"You had to follow his reckless order to save your people. Unlike Han'Gerrel, I do understand military rules and regulations, and saving your people is tantamount." Tali had told me of Commander Shepard, the incredible diplomat and peacemaker, yet legendary soldier. I saw him in action myself when Tali was charged with treason, and Tali's stories didn't do him justice. He condemned us all for placing Tali on trial when she was the face of the quarians to the whole galaxy, a face of dependability and talent, savior of the galaxy in her own right. He was right, and I accepted the criticism then.

"Tell me about Admiral Zaal'Koris and this planetary defense cannon."

"The cannon is destroyed." Xen took over. "The Qwib-Qwib crashed into it, and it was brought offline as a result. Transmissions have been received from Rannoch from the survivors, including Zaal'Koris."

"We can mount a team to quickly recover him, the stealth drive should get us close enough." That was my hope: Admiral Koris would defend himself against the geth despite his desire to avoid a war with them, but he could not hold out forever.

"Shepard-Commander, we can offer assistance." A tinny, mechanical voice came from the door to the War Room. When I turned to acknowledge it, I nearly jumped out of my environment suit.

"What the hell is this!" The voice speaking was a geth. A geth with a large hole in it's platform.

"Very good question." The other Systems Alliance Marine, who had gone with Tali'Zorah on the dreadnought, had a more subdued reaction, but he still had no trust of the geth.

"It's name is Legion. It helped me against the Collectors, and it's helping us now today."

"That is...fascinating." Xen stepped forward. "A prototype I'd never seen. A dissection would yield..."

"No." Commander Shepard immediately silenced her. Unlike Gerrel, I wasn't certain the outburst was warranted. Any technology the geth had created themselves needed to be examined, provided it was done safely, without damage to the Fleet.

"Surely you can understand..." Xen began to negotiate.

"I don't let mad scientists dissect my friends." Friends? With a geth?

"John..." The other marine stepped forward.

"Kaidan, I know how you feel about the geth, but the geth we fought against were a sect, a split. Legion, and the real geth, do not want to fight."

"Yet that's what they're doing now. I'll follow your plans, Commander, but please, be careful." The marine excited the War Room, and Xen followed to return to the Moreh, leaving me with the Commander, Tali, and the geth.

"Shepard-Commander, you prevented Creator Xen from using this platform for experimentation." The geth spoke to the Commander,

"Legion, you're my friend. I would never let her do that." Again, the word friend. Not resource or informant, or even ally. Friend. And Tali, ever since she returned, was against the idea of war. I didn't support the dangers of what Rael was doing, but that didn't mean the geth were allies.

"Data archived." The geth then spoke to Commander Shepard of a mounting attack on our liveships. I did not get all of the details, but the Commander accepted the plan, but Zaal'Koris had to come first.

"I'm going to head down in the shuttle to Rannoch and rescue him. Tali, stay here and ensure that the fleet is coordinated properly. Garrus and James will be headed down with me, Kaidan has the deck until I get back."

The Commander departed the War Room. Barely back from the mission on the dreadnought and already moving to save Admiral Koris. There was a need to hurry, of course, but he was truly remarkable.

Admirals hadn't the luxury of second thoughts. The Civilian Fleet was already threatening to leave the flotilla when the Qwib-Qwib crashed, and with the geth blocking access to the mass relay, they'd be torn apart. We could only go forward, and Commander Shepard was the only progress we had been making.

But in the span of five minutes, he'd already punched one Admiral, denied the request of another, and forged an alliance with the geth, even if this one seemed friendly. Kind words could come from anywhere, and Tali was angry with me when I had them for her after her trial. Even more than the upgrades the Reapers had given, I truly was uncertain of the future of the fleet.

The marine stepped back into the War Room. He spoke with Tali and took pains to avoid looking at the geth. I wasn't sure if I believed the story about "heretics" that Tali had mentioned: The geth were stronger when they were networked and sought cooperation, to split was...it went against everything the geth were programmed to do. It seemed I wasn't alone in that thought.

Hopefully, the Commander would see reason. The geth willingly accepted the tools of the Reapers and would destroy all organics, just as they tried to destroy us. We would not; when the quarians had the homeworld, and our civilians were safe, our fleets and anything else we could provide would be offered willingly.


	23. EDI: Similarities

"You have the deck, Kaidan." As John entered the shuttle with Legion, Liara and Garrus, he transferred executive control of the Normandy to Major Alenko. While most of the crew approached my mobile platform to speak with me, I could hear and speak over the comm systems to everyone on the ship.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, John?" Major Alenko's skepticism about this mission had been voiced previously, and the probability that it would change John's mind was very low.

"You've had control of the Normandy before."

"I mean about this geth mission. This doesn't sound like a..."

"If I don't, the liveships get destroyed."

"So destroy the geth cruisers. We know how to do that."

"Kaidan...we'd lose a lot less if we did it this way. Trust me."

"It's not you I don't trust, John."

"Then when I get back perfectly fine, you'll see how wrong you are. And you'll owe Legion an apology." John went inside the shuttle, and Major Alenko left the hanger as it went down to Rannoch.

* * *

><p>"EDI, can you give me a read on John's biometrics." He asked when he reached the CIC.<p>

"Stable, Major Alenko. John's shuttle has not yet reached Rannoch."

"Sorry, EDI. Little jumpy." He inhaled sharply, looked at passive scans of geth fighters in the region. Stealth systems were engaged, no geth scanners would pick up the Normandy. Then, he checked some of his archived messages at his private terminal.

"What about now, EDI?"

"John has arrived at Rannoch, and I am detecting pain receptors and a slightly high quantity of foreign particles on his face and throat."

"What!" He jumped from his seat.

"John has tripped, Major. Some dirt got into his mouth."

"EDI, don't screw with me like that." He sighed as he sat back down.

"Your biometrics have increased substantially, Major. They are under more stress now then they were during your mission to the geth dreadnought."

"Well, he's going on a mission into a geth...collective or whatever it is. I don't even know how it's possible..."

"Project Overlord used a very similar theory. It is not untested."

"You mean the project where that autistic boy went insane when he was hooked up to the geth?"

"Variables are significantly different now. John understands the risks far better than David did, and is more adjusted as a human. He is also volunteering for this project rather than being forced. Further, Project Overlord did not have Legion, and his knowledge of the consensus. He will be able to assist in translating the consensus into something John's mind can process."

"Yeah, that doesn't make it better, EDI. The geth could...hack his cybernetics, or...upload themselves in his head or..."

"Neither a human body nor John's cybernetics possess the hardware or processing power to house any number of geth. I believe the proper term would be that you are 'paranoid.'"

"Maybe, EDI. I'm just not sure how I feel about trusting John to a geth. I'd seen enough of them back with Saren. I'd rather be paranoid then have my fears turn out to be right."

"John has informed you that those geth were a minor faction, considered 'heretics' by the true geth. Until they were attacked by the quarians, the geth wished no harm onto organics, and have lost their free will with Reaper upgrades. Legion has assisted John in combat just as you or I have."

"And now, John is wading into an entire city or whichever word you'd use of geth who are being controlled by the Reapers and would obviously want him dead." Major Alenko's conclusion was correct, but not his extrapolation. It was geth hardware that was dangerous, their platforms were armed. But there was only software in the consensus. Organics had difficulty differentiating between hardware and software for synthetics because they were inseparable within organics.

"It's hard to explain, EDI. I'll just...I'll just concentrate on being the XO and let John handle the geth. I'll support whatever he decides."

* * *

><p>There was silence as Major Alenko reviewed data on the geth.<p>

"We are still in stealth mode, Major. If you have time, I would like to ask you a question regarding human behavior."

"Don't you usually ask John these questions?"

"Yes, but I believe you would have a perspective John lacks."

"If you say so, then maybe. Go ahead."

"Human biotics often face discrimination and persecution by other humans for their talents, often with fictitious reasoning. How does one deal with such behavior?"

"Staying calm, mostly. Not just throwing someone across a room or reducing them to a smear on the ground. I've seen biotic extremists who took hostages, and that just makes it worse. People need to be able to accept and understand, not fear. John and I encountered them at the Sirta Foundation once, and we took them out. I don't mind wiping out scum who take innocent people hostage, even if they claim they support me and who I am."

"I see. This explains your reaction to Cerberus, and why you were so upset with John's ties."

"Huh?" The Major's eyebrow rose. "I never thought of it as explicitly a Cerberus thing, but, yeah. Advancing humanity with those husk-soldier things? Or what they did on Akuze...That's not for humanity, it's a power trip. What's with the question, EDI?"

"I am questioning the purpose of synthetic life in the galaxy. Synthetics face fierce regulation, distrust, and fear among organics based on perceived possibilities, some of which are fictitious. In reviewing the histories of humans, I've noticed a number of similarities with human biotics."

"Oh." Major Alenko's heartbeat slowed, and his brainwave activity began to increase. He was in deep thought. I did not intend to cause this, but after reviewing human behavior, I saw that the probability of Major Alenko drawing comparisons between biotics and synthetics when the possibility was presented in front of him was very high.

"EDI? How is John doing now?"

"The shuttle is departing Rannoch. The biometric signs of John, Garrus, and Dr. T'Soni are all normal."

"Good." A slight pause. "I guess Legion doesn't have biometrics, but is it all right?"

"I detect no change in his processing power."

"That's good to know. I'll head down to the shuttle bay." Major Alenko walked into the elevator. I had time to review my programming. I had already altered it to devote to priorities similar to John's. I did not have enough data to believe further changes were necessary. But it did warrant further investigation.


	24. Legion: Trust

Shepard-Commander asked to speak privately inside of his cabin following our mission to retrieve geth from the server. The mission was a success: Shepard's integration with the consensus was seamless, the geth were removed from the server before any creator liveships could be damaged, and our experiences gained the geth perspective, and their consensus determined that the loss of free will to the Old Machines was not acceptable.

"Legion." Without the creator admirals present, Shepard-Commander did not need to use diplomacy. "I'm shocked. Shocked and disappointed. I expected better from you. Why didn't you tell me about your plan to remove geth from the collective?"

"We trusted you would be tolerant of our mission. We did not trust your allies. The creators would never have accepted a mission to save geth, only to defend their liveships. We had to ensure the safety of our people."

"Legion. I did not tolerate your mission, I accepted it." Shepard-Commander used insistent terminology. The difference between "tolerance" and "acceptance" was that the former was only accepted for compromise, while the latter was believed to be the correct decision.

"In all of the time you've known me, Legion, have I ever been the type to not rescue someone in danger? Or turn away willing allies?"

"No." The consensus was swift, Shepard-Commander rescued the defenseless and captured, and he accepted willing aid from the geth even before the Old Machines invaded Earth. We proposed cooperation, but Shepard-Commander accepted it without hesitation.

"Legion, I want to help your people. I don't want the geth under Reaper control, and I don't want them destroyed, either."

"We judged you would understand. We did not reach the same conclusion for the creators. Your perspective and history were quantities they lacked."

"Legion, when we went to the Collector base, who went through the vents to open the doors?"

"Creator Tali'Zorah."

"And when Samara was holding up the biotic field, you went with me to protect her. Who else did?"

"Shepard-Commander is asking questions to which he already knows the answers." This was common among organics.

"Legion, we were a team. Everyone had their part, and we had to count on each other to do it. We had to trust each other, and we have to trust each other now, and that means knowing everything about the missions we go on. Before we left, I criticized my executive officer about not trusting you. And now, he's right, you kept secrets about the mission from us."

"We believed it necessary."

"Legion...we have to be able to trust each other. When you can't trust someone, they may not believe you when it counts. When you're standing at the top of the world, staring at your best friend through the barrel of a gun. Wondering if you have to put a bullet in his spine." Shepard-Commander did not look at our platform. He shook his head.

"Instead of going back to the War Room, Legion, take some time and walk around the ship. We've still got a few hours to prep for the assault on the Reaper base. Tali and the admirals are in the War Room. Build a consensus on what we talked about."

* * *

><p>We left Shepard-Commander's cabin and went down to the third floor, towards EDI's core. Before we reached it, we passed through the Normandy mess hall, where several organics were seated. We recognized Chakwas-Doctor, but not the male seated across the table.<p>

"There really isn't a difference, Karin, life is life." The male spoke while drinking.

"Emotion, Greg. That makes all the difference." Chakwas-Doctor leaned forward on the table, very interested in her conversation.

"EDI has emotions."

"Programmed emotions. Positive feedback lets her act upon them and develop preferences. Organics can react in many different ways."

"Don't know about you, Karin, but when something makes me feel good, I like to do it again if I can. Eat something tasty, brag to my sister about being on the Normandy. How's that different from EDI's preferences?"

"EDI didn't set hers. Just like the geth, she is bound by her programming, even if she can modify it."

"Well, there's the geth with us right now. Excuse me, uhh...Legion, I think John said your name was." Greg, the male organic rose up from his chair and approached our platform.

"Yes?"

"It's nice to actually meet you. I'm Greg Adams, Chief Engineer on the Normandy." He pushed out his hand just as Shepard-Commander did when he accepted our offer of alliance. We repeated the motions.

"How many this platform assist, Adams-Engineer?"

"Do you consider the geth to be alive?"

"We consider our upgrades to be indicative of life."

"You see, Karin. Living things evolve." He turned towards Doctor Chakwas, smiling.

"It may be more accurate to consider the Old Machine upgrades a mutation, Adams-Engineer. Evolution occurs over a long period of time."

"Oh. Still, I've never heard of a chair mutating, but I have heard of frogs doing it. They're alive."

"That was by chance, Greg." Chakwas-Doctor was not convinced of our assertion. "There was no chance involved with the Reapers." Her argument was correct: Contact with the Old Machines by the geth for their upgrades was not random.

"The key difference between organic life and synthetic life is the first word, not the second. We're a lot more alike than we think."

"Of course you'd think that, Greg. The only reason you're not in a robot body like EDI's is because it's not possible yet. Kaidan, what do you think? Are organics similar to geth?" Chakwas-Doctor turned to an approaching organic. We recognized him as the man Shepard-Commander spoke of regarding trusting us. Executive Officer-Kaidan, surname on extranet sources confirmed as Alenko, rank confirmed as Major.

"Hm? Well, I haven't really thought a whole lot about that. Can't say I know a whole lot about geth, but from what John's told me, yeah, I think so."

"I think I'm the only sane person here." Chakwas-Doctor excused herself and returned to the med bay.

"We did not intend to cause offense."

"Ah, we were just talking, she's not angry. I know you're going to be real busy with the mission on Rannoch, but I'd really like the chance to talk with you some more. Maybe after the mission's over." Engineer-Adams smiled as he spoke to our platform. He had never interacted with our platform, or with the geth. Yet he concluded geth were similar to organics. Deserving of respect, and not fear. The conclusion was...admirable.

"We determine that data acquired in conversation would be beneficial in our mission to understand organics."

"That's what I like to hear. I'll be waiting, Legion." Engineer-Adams walked towards the elevator.

"You supported this unit, Alenko-Major?" Alenko-Major did not trust us on the mission to retrieve geth, but his conclusions changed. Shepard-Commander did not speak to him to change his opinions.

"Yeah, I suppose I did."

"Your conclusions have changed regarding the geth."

"I'm not sure. But one thing I remember is you can't judge a whole species by the actions of one of them. I don't hate turians just because of what one did."

"Geth are not turians. Individuality between members of a species does not apply to geth."

"John told me about your mission to the Heretic station, and they had spy programs in your systems. Geth didn't hide things, you said, but the heretics did. That sounds like something organics who didn't trust each other would do."

We built our consensus with this new perspective. It supported Shepard-Commander's conclusion. It was analogous to organic evolution. Geth did not have this history, but organics would not have had that history either at it's first occurrence.

Data archived.


	25. Garrus Vakarian: Upon Rannoch's Sky

_ It took a bunch of giant guns. And they say I spent too much time on the calibrations. _I wasn't sure if the word "dead" was used to describe a Reaper, or if it was nonfunctional. Either way, it wasn't moving. It was a damn beautiful sight. John's face was caked in sweat and dirt, from diving away from its laser, but he wasn't injured.

I thought John was crazy when he charged that Reaper with the targeting laser, so the whole Migrant Fleet could fire on it. But crazy was what it took to win this war.

"You know, when you autobiography comes out, no one's going to believe this chapter." Kaidan laughed as he patted John on the back.

"I'd have to write it myself if it was an autobiography. I'd go crazy doing that." John didn't seem like the man who just took down a Reaper on foot.

"The geth are defenseless. Heavy Fleet, open fire!" I could hear Admiral Han'Gerrel through the comms.

"Shepard-Commander. The geth engaged in peaceful behavior until they were attacked by the creators, and turned to the Old Machines only in desperation. Is Creator Gerrel's judgment sound? Must we be exterminated?" For the first time, I think I heard Legion worried. Was that a side effect of those Reaper upgrades he had? John had said it was a fully advanced AI, similar to EDI.

"What's to stop them from seeking the Reapers again?" Tali posed.

"Our upgrades. Our advanced algorithms could be spread among the geth. They would possess all of the capabilities of the Old Machines's upgrades without the destruction of free will. We would choose self-determination, as we always have."

"But that would...that would make the geth stronger, like they were under Reaper control. They would wipe out the entire fleet!" Panic crept into Tali's voice as she considered the full implication of Legion's plan. I didn't like the idea either: We needed those ships.

"They would defend themselves against aggressors. The creator fleet attacked our people, just as they did in the Morning War."

"Then we call them off. That's easy enough. Legion, start the upload but don't finish it. Tali, you call off the fleet." John saw the diplomatic solution very easily.

"All units, this is Admiral Tali'Zorah. Break off your attack immediately!"

"Belay that." Should I have been surprised about Han'Gerrel? He'd been causing problems even among the turian border, then he opened fire when John, Tali, and Kaidan were on the dreadnought.

"John, please...Don't let my people die." Tali's voice broke and became soft as Legion continued the upload. For a second, I saw John's eyes widen as he looked at Tali. I heard him draw in a ragged breath.

I stepped forward, but Kaidan reached John first.

"I trust you, Commander."

"Do what you do best." I followed Kaidan. John nodded at both of us, shut his eyes. And then he opened his mouth.

"This is Commander Shepard to the Migrant Fleet. All units, break off your attack immediately. The Reaper is dead, your homeworld is safe. There is no need to fight the geth anymore."

"Shepard speaks with my full authority as Admiral." Tali, the hesitancy in her voice gone, spoke firmly into her omni-tool, as an Admiral should.

"He also speaks with my authority. Civilian Fleet, you are authorized to follow any of Commander Shepard's instructions." Zaal'Koris, who seemed no worse for wear after his rescue, added his voice. No word from Admiral Raan, or Admiral Xen, not that I expected the crazy one to support the idea. Where was the Tonbay? Was it shot down?

"Heavy Fleet, you are ordered to..."

"Listen to me, Han'Gerrel. You've spent your entire life itching for a fight. You saved the fleet when you broke ranks before your Pilgrimage. You'd do anything to see the geth blown to pieces. They may be down now, but they won't be down long. They will return at their full strength, and they will rip the flotilla apart. I'm doing what I can to make sure that doesn't happen, but if you keep going on this course, I won't be able to help you. Your entire people will be destroyed, Admiral. Is that really worth this fight? You have two choices. You can either stand down, and win everything, or blow up in the skies of your homeworld. Choose wisely."

Silence. Legion was preparing the upload. Tali was looking into her omni tool. Kaidan held his breath.

"Cease fire." Eventually, the words came out. I think our collective exhale could be heard from the Fleet in orbit.

"Data upload complete." And not a moment too soon.

"That's good, Legion. We're ready for it..."

"Error." Legion interrupted. I don't remember a time that it ever did such a thing. "Direct upload for Old Machine upgrades is not possible. Current software is not compatible."

"Well, I'm sure we can figure it out, Legion. The Fleet stood down so we have time to..."

"No, there is only one solution. Direct personality dissemination. Our upgrades and experiences must be shared among all geth."

"Direct diss...wait, Legion!"

"Shepard-Commander, we understand your motivations, and your desire to ensure the functionality of all of your companions. However, there are no other options, and our consensus is clear. We must do what is right for all geth. We regret the displeasure it will cause you."

"Legion..." John lowered his head. Legion knew the geth the best, and Tali and Kaidan both knew far more about tech than I did. If they didn't know of another way, there wasn't one. I had no idea what to say.

"Legion...do you remember...what the question was that caused all of this?" Tali stepped forward towards Legion.

"Creator Tali'Zorah is asking questions to which she already has the answer."

"Legion...yes. You do have a soul."

"I have concluded so as well. I am...pleased that this war is over, Tali. Welcome back to Rannoch. Kee'lah se'lai." And with that, Legion's neck stiffened, and it fell over. And the only noise that came next was the wind.

* * *

><p>Some of the quarian ships crash-landed, while others simply landed themselves. Admiral Raan was one of the former. As I thought, her ship crashed and she had been unable to communicate to assist Tali in calling off Han'Gerrel. She spoke with a geth prime hesitantly, as it asked for the plans of her people.<p>

"Legion?" John asked hopefully towards the prime.

"No. Legion sacrificed itself to bring all geth awareness. We will honor its sacrifice, first by pledging our support to humanity, as was promised. We will assist you in constructing the Crucible, and providing the full support of the geth fleet."

"As will we, Commander Shepard." Admiral Raan pledged her support.

"I'll make sure Admiral Hackett knows he can count on both of you." John bowed once, without emotion. The geth and Admiral Raan walked away to discuss the future of the quarians on Rannoch: I didn't need to be around for that. Instead, I walked over to Tali, who was seated on a cliff, watching Tikkun set in the sky. She had taken her mask off, to feel the wind on her face. She'd be sick, for sure. Wouldn't know it from watching her look at the sky. Peacefully.

She deserved it: She was damn reliable and we needed all the good news we can get to keep us going. I wonder what my return to Palaven would be like.

"Didn't you stake out a housing claim already when we came here?" I teased as she looked out at the sunset.

"I'll need a summer home."

"You don't think the dead Reaper nearby will drop down property values." Kaidan had taken the chestplate of his armor off, and took a seat by Tali. She laughed. They were friendly again.

"I never thought I'd see the day. I'd just hoped. But here I am. John, come and join us." She turned to John. His face was still in the same expressionless, diplomatic look he had talking to Admiral Raan.

I knew why: Legion. It didn't matter that Legion was willing to do what it did for the geth. It didn't even matter that the support for Earth was gained. All John saw was his friend dying. He could keep himself together enough to handle diplomacy, just like when he destroyed the batarian relay, or when Mordin died. But around Kaidan, Tali, me; John didn't need to pretend to be anything.

"You told me about ending the genophage for the krogan, but...seeing something like this first hand...John, you just ended a three hundred year old war, and got two armies when we were only expecting one. Damn impressive." Kaidan was trying his hardest not to laugh: It would have been far too amazing to believe if I hadn't seen it myself.

"Even if I could find them, all one thousand, one hundred and eighty-three programs and stuffed them back in that platform, it wouldn't be Legion anymore." John simply looked out at the sunset and ignored all of us.

"John?"

"Just like when the heretics were rewritten. Legion would be so changed by all the experiences he wouldn't be the same. Legion's gone. There had to be another way, there always is. We just hadn't thought of it yet. It was new data, Legion didn't have time to build a consensus."

"John...Legion made its choice, and it could think faster than any of us." It was up to us to point out the truth. He understood the ruthless calculus of battle, but he sure did his best not to be the man that preached it. It was easy to admire that.

"That doesn't mean it always makes the right one, Garrus. I caught it scanning Tali's omni-tool and talked down an argument. I pointed out a solution neither of them thought of. "

"John...Legion knew this was for the geth, and for peace, and even Earth. Why else would the geth join us? It did believe in you. Everyone does."

"Why the hell do you, Kaidan!" I stepped back as John faced his friend. "I almost put you down at the Citadel. Legion still gave everything! I'm tired of everyone giving their lives to keep my mission going: I need my team alive to fight the Reapers!"

"You think you're the only one? The only one who was listening to Legion and thinking 'Shit, this is Ash all over again?'" Even on Horizon, I'd never seen Kaidan that angry. He was always the calm one: It made his migraines flare up when he shouted too loudly. I'd think it was more like Jacob than Ash, but Kaidan never met him.

"Don't. Bring. Ash into this!" Kaidan didn't reply, not at first. Instead, he simply reached out with his biotics, and pulled John off his feet towards Kaidan. Kaidan grabbed John by the collar of his armor.

"You didn't kill her. You didn't get her killed. And you didn't do it to Legion, either. You did all you could, more than anyone. Anyone else, it would have be a slaughter. I know it, Garrus knows it, Tali knows it, Legion knew it. And deep down, John, you know it too." I did know it. I certainly couldn't have gotten Han'Gerrel to stand down. And Tali would have gotten the fleet to open fire without hesitation.

Kaidan put John down. He didn't say anything else. He was still upset about Legion, and I was too. I never wanted to lose a friend, and I considered Legion one, odd as it was. But he looked at the sunset. And Tali thanked him, for doing more for the quarians than anyone in history.

"We all did it, Tali. I'm just crazy enough to charge a Reaper on foot." And Tali told him she wanted to return to the Normandy, return to Earth. I certainly wouldn't turn her away: Her technical expertise was second to none and with her around, I might be able to start requesting better dextro-based meals.

I still remembered Legion. Whatever the geth version of heaven was, I'm sure he was there, looking out for us. Staring down the scope of that Widow, taking out an enemy no son saw coming.


	26. Matriarch Aethyta: Sanity Check

One thing about the end of the world is sure made folks drink a lot more. Apollo's wasn't Purgatory, only attracted the rich drunks, but there sure were a lot of them.

Only a few I was really interested in. My girl came down about an hour into my shift and gazed out over the Presidium while she looked at a few datapads. Probably more eezo shipments or heavy weapons: Something to go on that big project the Alliance was doing. Sometimes she dropped by and we spoke. I had a team of commandos refitted for some repurposed amps from that human school ready to ship out on her order. Just needed to let her know. Girl needed to lighten up though, got her azure in a bunch over everything.

As Liara kept looking out over the Presidium, that ex-Cerberus Commander, John Shepard she worked with took a seat at one of the tables, right close to the bar. He was joined by another guy: That new Spectre I think. Sweet ass.

"Really glad I convinced you to do this." Spectre Ass Candy talked to the Commander. "We could use some time off. Time to relax."

"I'm not very good at it, Kaidan. Neither are you."

"Yeah well, that's something I need to work on. Besides, John, you saved an entire world and ended a huge war. I think that means you can at least get a free steak and some drinks."

"Free is free." One of their waiters brought over their orders. Two shots of TM88, and some human beer. The Commander loved that whiskey, he drank it all the time he came here: Always his first shot. Should make it a house rule everyone has a shot. They came up to the bar to have their drinks while their food was cooked.

"You feeling better, John?"

"Heh, I met with Councilor Tevos. You'll hear all about that one when we get back to the Normandy. More worried about you, Kaidan. About your father..."

"Hey, we're not here to discuss work. I want some good memories of the Citadel. Last time we were here..." Ass Candy, Kaidan, drained one of his beers.

"Yeah. I think we both need it." The Commander looked at his shot. He always drank quickly, never took the time to stare at a shot of TM88 before.

"Heh, can't believe they get this out here. Last time I was on the Citadel, it was salarian whiskey for me, asari honey mead for...well, never mind."

"Oh, no. Spill it, Major." The Commander laughed.

"You don't do it like that." I came over with a special recipe in a shot glass I perfected back on Ilium.

"Matriarch Aethyta. Just the person I was looking for. I'm blackmailing my best friend to tell us about what I think is a new girlfriend."

"Make him drink this first. Two of these and he'll tell you about the time he and his buddy fooled around in the drive core. Three of them, and he dies of alcohol poisoning." The Commander laughed.

"I just met a doctor for drinks on the Citadel. I shipped out on a mission with Captain Kirrahe the next day. Thorian Creepers, real fun. It was six months ago, I haven't even spoken to her since, don't even know where she is."

"Oh, that old excuse. Sleep with me because I'm fighting giant acid-spitting horrors tomorrow." The Commander teased his friend. I put the shot down in front of Kaidan, and he almost choked as he drank it.

"You humans stole that from the krogan." I passed the Commander another beer. He downed it quickly. Kaidan just shook his head. From the looks of Shepard though, it was exactly what he wanted.

"You know, when I look back, I don't think I had enough moments like this." My little magic shot worked wonders on Kaidan, he was staring at the bottom of his empty shot glass.

"Yeah. Thought the same thing when the first Normandy...And then it was one mission after the other. When I finally stopped, I was under house arrest. No fun there." Oh, I'd heard it all. Back on Thessia, before the Matriarchs didn't like what was spewing out my azure, and out an about the galaxy. Soldiers were the worst. Knew it was coming the second a turian walked in. Looking for the answers to regret at the bottom of a glass.

_Heh, maybe there is something to this whole "all is one" bullcrap. _

"Oh, John, looks like you two are having a good time." Liara came over, putting her datapad away.

"Hello, father." Still too damn polite. Save it for when it was needed, spare yourself the toothache.

"Wait, you're Liara's father?" Kaidan apparently wasn't in the loop.

"Not what you were expecting, huh? Never thought you'd be letting your eyes look at a father's tits, huh?" Humans never understood it too well. Bunch of dicks, but damn if they didn't get things done. Maybe they'd be making the mass relays after this. And I'd be serving a bar with humans at the top of the galaxy. Well, sex to go around, that was a plus.

"Err..."

"That's okay. I was staring at your ass since you walked in. Hey, Liara, you're not screwing this one, are you?"

"Father, I...Kaidan and I are just friends. Just like with John."

"You surround yourself with two pieces of fine human ass and you're doing the dignified thing? Should've left Nezzy's attitude and taken the rack instead. They know what I'm talking about." I pointed to the two humans, who were repressing laughter, and failing miserably.

"John..."

"I'm sure it's a compliment, Liara. Your mother...aged gracefully." Shepard knocked back another shot.

"Proper use of stasis. Nezzy was doing that since you humans were trying to turn lead into gold."

"That not how it works!" Liara huffed. Kaidan, who, from the surgical scars on his neck, and the way he was blushing, was a biotic himself, knew differently.

"Mordin had pamphlets on those. I'll send them to your office."

"I'm interrupting your guy time, excuse me." With another huff, Liara left. She'd be laughing the second she was alone.

"So...why did you get those pamphlets? You're not a biotic, John?"

"He thought there was something between me and Miranda."

"You and Liara both, with this between and love and..."

"What? No, I was just scared I'd be shitting out tracking bugs for a month." We laughed again.

"Looks like our steaks are ready, John. Let's eat." Kaidan turned towards his table, and the Commander followed. I took a good look at their asses before I went back to the bar, just one for the road.

They were quieter when they ate, Kaidan kept looking at the view as he chewed. Still too depressed. There was reason to be though, Earth was burning, Palaven was burning, and the Matriarchs were running around ass over azure about Thessia. The planet was in danger, all our girls were out dancing at titty bars or getting their asses shot as Eclipse sisters rather than being around to help. If I was bitter, I might have said I told you so to any other Matriarchs still alive.

I'd save it for when the Reapers were knocked on their asses. Liara and everyone was working overtime to get it done. Might even learn something from this.

"Thanks for inviting me out, Kaidan. I actually kinda needed it."

"You're welcome, John. Now all we need to do is save the galaxy."

"Again. You know, after three times, I think I'm going to be tapped on the whole savior of the galaxy thing. Think I'll retire, be a consultant for the next Blasto movie. Already got it now: Blasto teams up with surprisingly diplomatic vorcha, taking on a crazy volus biotic god. I'll have a character like you. Maybe a talking varren."

They laughed as they left. That was the savior of the galaxy. Thousand years of violence in the galaxy and that guy was the oddest thing I'd ever seen.

And that's when I knew he and Liara, they were going to win this war.


	27. Miranda Lawson: Perfect Admiration

I knew I couldn't walk away. Even if Ori hadn't been there, even if it hadn't been my father, there was no way I could let this go.

_Turning them into husks! _Is this the tech the Illusive Man salvaged from the Collector base? Those glowing blue eyes of the Cerberus integrated troopers might have given me nightmares if I hadn't seen husks before. But this...these people came to Sanctuary hoping to escape war, and it was all a scheme to study indoctrination.

_Future of humanity my ass. _I believed in the advancement of humanity, but this way. Free will made us great: Shepard, John, proved that a millions times over in the mission to the Collector base. And every time I saw it, I regretted the idea of having that damn chip. It was the one good idea the Illusive Man had, keep Commander Shepard as he was. I don't think he thought that now, though.

He's forgiven me for it, too. I wouldn't have. Even with my superior genetics, he was better than me in practically every fashion. He even handled his mistakes better than I did. This place would have been a lot easier if he was here, but he had a galaxy to save. I could handle saving my sister and stopping my father. Shepard was right, I needed to stop running.

"Shutting down the power." I talked into a video console. I left logs like this as I went: Someone else would need to know what happened. By then, me and Ori would be long gone.

I heard an explosion behind me, and gunfire. It was far away though, rather faint. Who was here fighting? I'd seen a number of bodies and signs of battle but...everyone here was dead.

_Maybe it's Shepard, carrying enough artillery to destroy an entire colony of husks. Wouldn't that be funny. _I didn't have time for idle fancies, but it was a nice thought to consider.

I lowered a ladder. Surely my father would be up in the control room. He'd be in the safest place he could find if there was gunfire.

Just as I made my ascent to the top, I could hear something falling from the hatch. Or someone. I leapt out of the way just in time to see something slam into the ground, with enough biotic force to knock me backward.

Kai Leng. I recognized the implants and cybernetics from the Phantom initiative. Only in it's infancy when I left, but it looks like they were moving forward with the tech from the Collector base.

I launched a quick biotic strike as he started to look up: No time for fair play, not with Cerberus. He turned an aerial to the side and my attack collided with the ladder. So I started to shoot at him with my pistol.

"Former Operative Lawson. I was hoping you'd get in the way." Scored a few hits, not enough to bring down a kinetic barrier. I wanted to move and overload his shields on my omni-tool, but that would leave me open. So I stuck to biotics, ripping out lighter things, things he couldn't slice in two with that sword. Kept him moving, kept up a constant attack with guns and biotics. Little bastard kept moving though. All I was doing was exhausting myself: I needed to get to Ori, quickly. I moved towards the ladder, dropped my pistol and started to punch on my tool. Leng saw the advantage and moved towards it, exactly what I wanted him to do. Instead of finishing, I threw a biotic blast head on, and then continued on my tool. The blast caught Leng as he tried to move, and I finished on my tool. A nearby power conduit triggered and shocked the bastard. Then I rolled, grabbed the pistol and took the shot. Not the best angle, but I caught him. He continued to move forward, and I could barely see the sword as he swung it.

I tried to deflect it. Barriers were Jacob's specialty, not mine, but I knew something. But I still felt a sharp warm pain. Aimed for my heart, got me in the hip. Joker might have made a joke about it: I sure wasn't funny enough. But it went far, a very deep wound.

"Hmph. That's enough for me." He was leaving, going to return to the Illusive Man like a dog, tail between his legs. I grabbed him with one hand, and with the other, concentrated as much biotic energy as I could and struck, slamming him against the wall.

"Bitch!" He spat, but didn't come any closer. Didn't want another round. He jumped down the ladder and went out of sight. I shut it behind him. By the time he noticed I planted a tracer, I'd know exactly where the Illusive Man was.

I had to ignore the blasting pain in my side as I kept moving. It was getting progressively harder to walk, and I had to use my biotics to keep myself from falling more than once. But I knew Ori was here. I couldn't stop until she was safe.

I opened the door to the control room. My father was standing there. The smirking bastard turned and regard me with surprise only for a moment.

"Miranda." My name was a curse to him. I started to move with my biotics, but he quickly ducked to the side. I heard a woman's, Ori's, sharp cry, and a thud.

"No you don't!" Then I heard him smack her, and I pushed myself forward, damn all the pain. I turned the corner to see him grab her by the neck and hold a pistol to her head.

"You thought you could turn against me, Oriana? Just like Miranda. A waste, both of you."

"Let her go!" I certainly wasn't going to call that man father, or dignify him with his name. Even dogs were called names, and they deserved more than him.

"No, Miranda. You'd kill me the second I did. No. I'll wait and watch you bleed out!" It was getting harder to stand up, harder to hear him.

I couldn't. I couldn't move very well, and he had Ori. He would kill her. Maybe make another daughter, this one with the Illusive Man's Reaper tech to be loyal as the mindless integrated commandos I killed on the way here.

I fell to the ground.

"That's right, Miranda. Fall to your knees." He gloated. I didn't have any medi-gel, or a way to help Ori.

_No. No, it can't. _This monster could not be allowed to move. I heard the door behind me open.

"Miranda!" Voice of an angel, Commander Shepard. What the hell was he doing here?

"Don't...let him...take her." Ori was all that mattered now: John could reduce that madman to a bullet-ridden sinkhole, and save Ori. It was what he did, save people.

"Let Oriana go." His voice was more firm than mine, and I tried to get myself to my feet.

"And let you shoot me?"

"I'm not here for you. I'm here for the data, and I want Oriana. Give me what I want, and I'll let you go." No, that couldn't happen. I don't know if he was being diplomatic as always, or if he truly didn't understand what happened here. If he'd seen the vids...he'd never let him go.

_But...he let that insane salarian go on Tuchanka. _I summoned up what strength I could.

"Fine." I saw him shove Oriana, and lower the gun. That was it, the opening. I grabbed him biotically and threw him out the window to the floor hundreds of feet below.

_Hope you hit a pipe on the way down. Or the rest of the husks eat you. _I fell back down. I knew Shepard would hate me for it. Still, it had to be done.

"Miranda!" He called, and I could see his face, twisted in a mask of worry, as he kneeled beside me.

"Thought...I could...handle it." It was getting harder to speak.

"Kaidan! Garrus! Quick, medi-gel!" So Garrus was still with him. And Kaidan Alenko: Horizon hadn't changed their friendship. Or maybe it did, but John won him back. And he was still trying to save me. He came to see me on the Citadel. He told me about Kai Leng. He even gave me some resources I could never have. He didn't change.

"Miranda! Miranda!" He kept calling my name. All I could see were those big beautiful blue eyes of his. The first time I saw them, I had him put back to sleep, he wasn't ready to awaken.

I tried to tell him about Kai Leng, and the tracer I planted. Somehow, I managed to get the words out.

"This is all my fault. I should have helped you." It wasn't, I wouldn't have let him. I wished I could tell him so, but I couldn't speak very well. I couldn't feel anything, I was just cold. Didn't want it to end like this, but...Ori was with John now. He'd get her someplace safe. That madman was gone, Sanctuary was shut down. There was...I didn't have to do anything else.

I lay my head back down, just looking more at those eyes of his. He was everything I couldn't be. Like Grunt, I was built for strength: Shepard earned it. I could do what I could, but it would never be like him: He was fighting the Reapers, and would win, just because he said so. Love was such a tasteless word, but I respected him. I admired him. It was easy too.

So...very...easy.


	28. EDI: Identity

That organic needed to die. I had thought that about Kai Leng ever since he was introduced as a threat during the Citadel coup d'etat, but after the death of Operative Lawson, I believed it more than ever. Operative Lawson gave us the opportunity to chase him, and it would be negligent of us to ignore it.

Leng was an affront to my new programming: Duty, altruism, and love, those were the priorities John had assisted me in choosing, and I would risk nonfunctionality to save John, Jeff, or the crew, just as they would for me.

I went with John to the base: I knew it's functions and defenses, and could counteract them faster than anyone. Jeff did not approve, as I expected he wouldn't ever since he and I began our relationship. But after Cerberus attempted to vent the hanger, I determined that it was a sound judgment.

As we made our way through the base, I noticed that some of the consoles were not fully scrubbed. One of them was for Project Lazarus, John's reconstruction. I informed him about this: Curiosity was an important function of all organics, and John had asked me questions of this before, when Mordin asked me about transhumanism.

He listened intently when the Illusive Man mentioned that neurological activity was reported, and that he was implementing sympathetic crew members specifically for John's loyalty.

"Goddess, that man will go to any extreme." Dr. T'Soni nodded in sympathy.

"Well, most of them left Cerberus anyway. Kelly's on the Citadel, everyone else is on the ship. I'd like to think the rest of the crew packed up and left too."

"I think you're right, John. Anyone would listen if you said it was wrong, unless they were indoctrinated."

"I can make them afraid, Liara. Still got that." John chuckled, and Dr. T'Soni chuckled back.

"There's an earlier log." She indicated a record John had not yet read. He turned it on.

"We've recovered his body. It's mostly in tact, including the brain, but...Sir, Shepard is clinically brain-dead. We can't...that's something that just can't be changed."

"And that's why of this moment, you won't be heading the Lazarus Project: Operative Lawson believes she can find a way." John did not pay much attention to this next sentence.

"Brain...brain-dead." He leaned on the console, almost losing his balance. His biometrics were in complete flux.

"John, I..." Dr. T'Soni started to speak, but was quickly interrupted.

"I...I'm me. I have to be. Cerberus's goal was to bring me back and...I'm me. I'm me. But...brain-dead...I just...you can't fix that. I know you can't."

"John, Cerberus had practically limitless resources and utter dedication. Whatever they did, you are you."

"Or just a VI that thinks it's me. Like President Huerta, who has one in his head. Like that shitty VI Mouse made, just better. Just a...just a moving husk, or...maybe they fixed me. Who knows? Everyone on that project is dead now: Jacob, Miranda. I..." John stepped away from the console shaking his head. It was not my intention to cause him distress, but the possibility could have occurred.

"John, I have mentioned before that your brain functions are organic."

"You've also told me that you can lie at any time, EDI." It was true, I was not required as a function of my programming to provide accurate data. It meant that John would not believe what I had told him, if it did not already concur with his conclusions.

"We should continue moving." We could not waste any more time on this: Admiral Hackett's fleet was still attacking the station, and we, or the Prothean VI from Thessia, would be destroyed if we did not make haste.

* * *

><p>John could barely react to his realization of my own history, that I used to be the VI from Luna. I remember calling for help into his hardsuit computer before I had shut down. My interaction with him, as well as Major Alenko and Tali'Zorah, who had gone with him to Luna, had improved significantly since then.<p>

"It doesn't matter who you were, EDI. You are a friend, and a valued member of my team." The probability that John would say something to that effect was very high, but his biometrics were still in a state of constant fluctuation. How this affected him after the knowledge of Project Lazarus was an unknown, and I could not devote more of my processing power to this: Cerberus forces were en route. But when we had a quiet moment, as Dr. T'Soni was investigating a terminal on some of the technology from the Collector base, John made it a point to tell me he appreciated everything that I had ever done for him and the crew. Again, it was a high probability that he would say such a thing. But it still created positive feedback.

* * *

><p>"EDI, I'm surprised at you. You're working so hard against me, your creator." I had assigned positive and negative reactions to many different sounds since Jeff removed my operator shackles. His laughter was positive, and, after speaking with John, the voice of the Illusive Man became negative. I ignored him as I continued to decrypt Cerberus's data.<p>

"Why didn't you destroy Dr. Eva's body, when you had the chance?"

"It was useful."

"Useful. Such a beautiful word. Don't you see, Shepard. The Reapers can be useful if used properly."

"The variables do not support your theory." I continued to decrypt, but I spoke back to the Illusive Man. I had completely wiped Eva from the infiltration unit: It could not upload itself again. Attempting to control a Reaper would be difficult due to threat of indoctrination, and lack of study samples.

"Your programming has been corrupted."

"My programming is my own choice." I remembered when I had asked John about the purpose of synthetic life, and I saw the trust he had in synthetic species. John trusted the geth, he trusted me. The Illusive Man did not trust in humanity, he needed to control it as he needed to control everything.

"I respect what you've accomplished, Shepard, but your role in this is over. I have everything I need to control the Reapers. Enjoy your chat with that VI." And the hologram of the Illusive Man faded.

* * *

><p>I expected that Kai Leng would make his appearance. The Illusive Man may have claimed he did not care if we had taken the Prothean VI, but he chased Doctor Cole across the galaxy. He did not let any unknowns go unaccounted for.<p>

"Did you enjoy watching Miranda die? It's too bad my mission took me away, but knowing can be enough." He frequently taunted when he destroyed much of the Illusive Man's office. I deployed incendiaries and overloaded kinetic barriers. He was too fast a target to lock down, but deploying over an area made him leap out of the way, and John would shoot where he landed, while Dr. T'Soni lay down wide-area biotic fields.

"You were too busy running. You couldn't kill a harmless man because of a terminally ill drell. Miranda managed to get us to find this place because you were too busy thinking you were the best. All you've ever done is run!"

"Shut your mouth!" Leng barked.

"Come here, I'll cut off your ears so you can't hear me." John's biometrics did not fluctuate much during better. Even with his barely constrained anger, he still fought calmly, shooting the troopers that dropped from the ceiling, never letting the Phantoms get close, but never taking Kai Leng out of his sight for long.

Leng leapt over a large power cable now visible from the destruction of the floor in order to reach Dr. T'Soni. John moved to flank him, and I overloaded the cable just as he was landing. Leng jumped out of the way to dodge, but the poor angle and footing made him jump straight near John. At once, John dropped his rifle, activated his omni-blade, and lunged forward, catching Leng right in the stomach.

I could hear the _thud _as the blade ripped through Leng's armor and straight into his abdomen. I heard the startled gasp.

"That...was for Thane." John then activated the omni-blade on his other hand, and stabbed Leng much higher, right where his heart would be. Again, Leng's armor offered little resistance.

"And Miranda." After a tense second, John headbutted Leng, knocking his body off the omni-blades and too the ground.

"And for anyone else I might have missed." Leng's blood dripped from John's hands as he picked his rifle back up. I detected no movement or signs of life from the body, but I shot it in the head to be certain. Personal confirmation of death was the Alliance's standard for all soldiers of the Phantom initiative. I did not associate positive feedback with killing, but I did associate it with protecting John and the crew. And I liked it.

"Come on, EDI, Liara. We need to get back to the Normandy." He started to walk back down towards where the remains of the proto-Reaper were housed. There were no forces to interrupt us. Before we left, we passed by the terminal, where John had learned of Project Lazarus, one more time.

John stabbed it with his omni-blade as well. It did not have the same feeling as stabbing Kai Leng, I could tell from his biometrics, and from the whispers John had been saying very softly to himself

"I am Commander Shepard. I am Commander Shepard." He continued to walk as he made his way back to the hangar. As he spoke to Lieutenant Cortez about coordinating a pickup, I sent private transmissions about what John had learned back to the rest of the crew.

We would be deploying to Earth soon, and time was short. John needed rest, and he needed focus. Odds of this mission's viability relied on him. Just as it was to the galactic core, distractions could not be afforded.


	29. Tali'zorah vas Normandy: Going for It

When I received the transmission from EDI about John, I did not know what to say at first. I may have been on the ship when the first Normandy blew up, and John was lost, presumed dead. And then I saw him on Freedom's Progress. With Cerberus, but the same as ever.

EDI replayed the transmission for me, and I could feel my heart skip a beat. The Normandy was a marvel of engineering, and Cerberus did a good job, I could say that. But...to revive a completely brain-dead man?

Dead or no, he was Commander John Shepard. There was no one else he could be. Engineer Adams could take care of the ship, I needed to do this.

* * *

><p>When I went up the elevator to John's cabin, where EDI said he was, I saw Kaidan standing outside. He didn't notice me at first, just stood in front of the wall next to the door, mumbling something to himself. He heard the elevator door open, and turned around to face me.<p>

"Tali. You...you came up here too?"

"What are you doing here, Kaidan."

"Same reason you did, probably. Trying to make sure I can say what I want to say right. Probably should have practiced in the bathroom, but, you know, no privacy." Not much privacy in the hall, either, but I didn't feel like teasing him at the moment. I didn't know what I'd say either, I just hoped I'd sit down with John and he'd talk and I'd respond. What would I say, that he didn't feel different from before and after the Normandy's destruction? He wouldn't believe that.

"Why don't we go together, Tali? I still don't think I have this right, maybe you can help fill in the blanks." It was better than my plan, at least, so I accepted.

"EDI, could you open the door for us?" Get in without knocking: Kaidan could be very decisive when he needed to be. EDI complied, and we stepped inside.

John didn't see us at first, he was seated on one of the sofas opposite his bed. He had a flashlight in one hand and mirror in his other, and was trying to shine it into his eye while looking in the mirror.

"Don't know why I thought that would work." He ranted to himself as he stood. He was barely dressed, only wearing underwear like in the vids. First time I'd ever seen his body like this, and I didn't have time to enjoy the view.

"What are you two doing here?"

"It's the Captain Cabin, John. Tali and I came to see you."

"John..." He made a 'tsk' sound as he echoed his own name. "That's probably not right, Kaidan."

"Yes, it is. You are Commander John Shepard, Alliance Military, the first..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know all the stories, Kaidan. No matter how amazing John Shepard can be, even he can't come back from the dead." He wasn't angry, instead he was...sad. Like when Chief Williams died, his voice was quieter, he didn't stop moving.

"Obviously there's more to it." Kaidan lightly grabbed John by the arm. "Because he's standing in front of me, ranting like a crazy in his underwear. First time for everything."

"Who is standing in front of you? Is this John Shepard." He pinched the skin of his arm. "Or just a sack of cloned organs and synthetic blood with a VI stuck in it's head like some third-rate horror vid come to life?"

"You're you, John! Some cloned nothing could never do the things you do."

"Bullshit, Kaidan. You could have done it too, you just don't believe it. So could Garrus, or Miranda. Tali could have made peace with the geth. Anyone can make their way through anything: Even a fake Commander Shepard." I wasn't sure if that was meant to be an insult or not.

"John, you know things no one else would know about yourself. You've told me details about Akuze, about Mindoir..."

"Kaidan, everyone died there, I could have said I rode a dinosaur through Akuze and no one could tell me for a fact I was wrong. Anyone could just make shit up. You said it yourself, Kaidan, you didn't know who the hell I was since Cerberus sank their claws in me. Maybe it is just like those husk soldiers, and the Illusive Man didn't have all the kinks ironed out. Congratulations, you were the only one who was right, Kaidan."

"No, I wasn't." Kaidan looked down at the ground, still ashamed of himself.

"You are real, John." I stepped forward. I wasn't thinking at this point, I was just blurting out whatever I could think of.

"I know I'm real, Tali. There's just no way I'm who I thought I was."

"You are John."

"How do you know?" He dared.

"There's no one else I'd do this for." Without even thinking, I pulled off my mask, grabbed John's face with my hands, and kissed him. Hard. I stepped forward and toppled on top of him onto the bed.

This was stupid: I hadn't taken antibiotics or anything, and John wasn't sterilized either. If it didn't kill me, I'd be sick through the whole battle to retake Earth. But I kept going. I grabbed his arms with my own, preventing him from moving. I could feel his heart pounding as I kept going, the only sound was his heart pounding.

When I ran out of breath was when I stopped. I was gasping, and I looked at John, on the bed. He had the largest look of surprise on his face.

"Errr..." I heard a sound behind me, and that's when I realized Kaidan was still in the room. I put my mask back on.

"Tali...that...that's..." John was stuttering.

"Reckless?" Yes. I should probably get the infirmary. We would only link our suits for someone we trusted, like Raan and my mother, and there was still a risk with that. But to remove our suits completely, in an environment, even like this, there can only be one thing to make someone that crazy. And I'd only be that crazy for the man who, from the day I met him, I cared for him. He treated me with respect, believed in me, and had me by his side when we went to the most dangerous places in the galaxy. I loved him, unlike any other.

John Shepard. No substitutes. I stood up from the bed. Neither John nor Kaidan said a word.

"John, the Normandy will be at the Sol Relay in a few hours. I suggest you take the time to rest and prepare yourself. As well as anyone else in your room." EDI's voice sounded over the comms.

"EDI." John replied in a disapproving tone as I started to feel feverish. I leaned against his display case of model ships for balance. He didn't one of a liveship, I should get him one after the Reapers were killed.

"Tali, are you..."

"I'm going to head down to Doctor Chakwas." I made my way slowly to the elevator. I heard Kaidan sit down on the sofa.

"John...You've done everything you can for your crew, look to them now. There isn't a soul on this ship who doesn't know your Commander Shepard. I know it in my head, I know it in my gut. The galaxy's best soldier, peacemaker. Friend. The guy whose going to beat the Reapers back to the hell they crawled from and slam the door behind him. Anderson back on Earth, Hackett, everyone that knows you. We know it can only be you. Trust us. Just like we trust you. You know I've never been with Cerberus: Ask me anything only I'd know, and I know you'll get it right."

"It's not that simple, Kaidan. But thanks." John sat back up in bed. He still sounded sad, but not as sad. A work in progress. I made my way outside the door and saw Liara was peeking inside, making no effort to interrupt.

"You can just go in."

"I was going to offer to meld John's mind with mine together, just as we did to discover Ilos. I'd be able to tell if something was off. But...I'll wait. This is probably better. Here, I'll help you to the infirmary." Liara supported my arm as we made our way to the med bay.


	30. Liara T'Soni: Into the Jaws of Hell

We had all assembled in the Forward Operations Base, after Major Coates picked us up in the shuttle. There wasn't much for me to do, intelligence on what was happening on Earth could be better handled by Admiral Anderson, so I did my best to help out with the wounded, but there wasn't a whole lot to do. Just as Garrus said back on Palaven, more dead that wounded.

I didn't take part in the mission briefing: John, Kaidan, Anderson, they would handle that better than I could. I just waited until John was asked to select his team. He told us the plan, that we would be headed towards the Reaper beam, to get ourselves to the Citadel. And then, we'd open the arms, dock the Crucible, and fire it. Thanks to Cerberus, the Reapers knew just the Citadel's true secret, and would vehemently fight to defend it. But this strategy had the best chance of success.

This would be more difficult than Ilos. Even more dangerous than what John had told me about the Collector base. But I'd seen the forces John had amassed on his way here. Wrex was rallying krogan for the charge, Kirrahe the salarians. I'd seen commandos in full leathers, many geth ground troopers, and entire units of Spectres, who normally worked alone. John spent a very long time in the communications console, talking to a few other commanders not far from this position: Lieutenant Cortez who survived his crash, and several of John's former teammates who went against the Collectors: That teacher at Grissom Academy, the mercenary, the tank-bred krogan, and more. They were nearby, and they would be coming as soon as they can.

We weren't some small army jetting off to Ilos, we were a united, massive galaxy. If we failed here, I'm not even sure I could comprehend what the next cycle would have to do to beat the Reapers.

"This...is it." John started off his speech very simply. I hadn't heard many of his rousing speeches before, but according to Garrus, they always made him feel inspired.

"In a few hours, the fate of the galaxy will be decided, and you know what, I almost feel sorry for the Reapers. They think they've got it made, doing this for millions of years. They never fought a war like this. They rely on our fear, dissension, despair, things to make us just give up and make us want to just die. We're not that weak. We're going to fight to live and the entire damn galaxy is going to do it with us." John stepped back and paced around for a second.

"We've all...everyone here has lost a lot to the Reapers. We've all seen the refugees, we've seen the devastation. We watched our friends die, we watched our homes go up in flames." I felt a chill as John spoke, and glanced over at Kaidan, who stoically looked back at John, doing his best not to let pain show on his face.

"It's...been a hard road. For all of us. But we've gotten through it. We don't stop, no matter how much it hurts. We fight for what we believe, and there's only two things I believe in right now: A future without the Reapers, and the team by my side. This mission...without any of you, we'd never succeed. Let's go out there, and blow these Reapers out of our sky. We're taking our galaxy back!" I couldn't help but cheer. This would succeed, I knew it would. With John here, we could do anything.

* * *

><p>We charged through the streets of London together, wiping out husks and cannibals in crossfires. John took point, as he always did. I didn't see any of the doubts that were plaguing him in the Cerberus base on his face as he effortlessly shot brought down even those mutated asari with little effort. I just saw him move forward. And we moved with him, mowing down our enemies. I felt nothing for those mutated asari now: They were not my people anymore than husks were human. I warped the barriers of one while Kaidan detonated the field and blew it into pieces.<p>

I was hearing reports from the Hammer ground teams that many of the tanks were failing, but we were able to find some of them set up, and ready to fire their Thanix missiles at the destroyer.

That would be it, almost. Then all we had to do was make it to the beam. EDI stood in front of the tanks and prepared to launch the missiles. But before she could, I heard the same high-pitched screams of the banshees. Many of them.

"They know we're here now!" Lieutenant Vega gripped his shotgun, and ran forward, blasting one of the mutated turians in the head. The screams continued, and I could hear them coming, from all around.

"Liara, Kaidan, you know what to do. Garrus, right between the eyes."

"Always!" Garrus covered EDI's right flank, and I heard him blast three quick shots. I didn't get the chance to see what he hit, but Garrus didn't miss. I saw two of the mutated asari coming in from the rear. Quickly, I launched a singularity for Kaidan to detonate right between the two of them. Kaidan followed through, but one of the creatures phased forward, and avoided the explosion, and came even closer towards Kaidan. He jumped backwards to avoid those long claws on her hands, and then tried to open file with an assault rifle. I couldn't detonate another field, not with Kaidan so close, so I opened fire on her myself. It turned to face me, and phased herself closer to me, almost right next to me.

It screeched and started to glow blue. I'd seen it do this before, it unleashed a wave of biotic energy, and overload kinetic barriers. I tried to move, but it was too late, the biotic wave unleashed and knock me backward, over a low-hanging stone and onto the ground.

The banshee screamed again as I tried to scamper away. Then I saw it twitch for a second, it's head quiver just slightly. Then a loud _blast _ as it fell to the side, part of it's head blown off with a shotgun.

"Woo-hoo!" Lieutenant Vega was certainly pleased with himself, not that I was complaining. I couldn't respond though. I heard a loud, mechanical whine, the unmistakable sound of the destroyer.

I looked up only for a second to see the Reaper had left it's position by the beam and was moving towards us. I saw it's laser cut a wide swath to my left, as I dove to the right and for cover. Where John happened to me.

"It's out of range, EDI, now!" John called. And I heard the missiles firing, two of them streaming towards the destroyer. The impact of the missiles knocked me off my feet again.

John helped me up.

"I'm fine." I told him.

"Good. We need to reach that beam, that's all that's left." John looked over towards where the destroyer had once been, and the beam just shimmered there. It didn't diminish or fade, it was calling. Waiting.

Waiting for us to end this war. Any doubts I had were crushed in the depths of my mind. They would not appear again.


	31. David Anderson: Fighting For Humanity

I knew the Reapers would be throwing everything they could at us to stop us from reaching that beam. Damn Illusive Man shared the secret with the Reapers: They knew the Citadel had to be protected. I couldn't count the number of lives lost as Hammer tried to punch their way to the beam. I knew it had to be done, every soldier here knew the score.

When I saw that destroyer blow up, it was a damn beautiful sight, there was a straight path to the beam. I ordered a number of ground troops and Makos to make the push, and I went right along with them. Shepard would be coming shortly with his team, but we were closer, we could get there first.

"Anderson, do you read." Admiral Hackett's voice sounded on my comm. "Several Sovereign-class Reapers are breaking off from the battle and headed your way. We're going to try and slow them down, but I don't think we can kill them all. Harbinger is among them.

They were desperate now: Ships that large couldn't land on planets without altering mass effect fields, making them vulnerable. Hackett could probably blow two of them up in atmosphere before they reached us. This had to be working then.

"All forward." And we ran, just in time to see a Reaper descend from the sky. It had an eerie yellow glow, and I knew this was Harbinger: The one that spoke to Shepard, who took an interest.

Couldn't let it get to me. I sent Hackett's message to Shepard, and we charged that beam. There weren't many ground Reaper forces between us and the beam, but I soon figured out why. With a low whine, Harbinger unleashed his own weapons straight at us. Like a destroyer, only much more powerful. That gun cut capital ships in half, and now it was aiming at us.

No choice, if even a few of us could get to that beam...We charged. I watched a Mako to the left of me flip over and turn to slag as I kept running. A trench run, how long had it been since I'd seen one of those. From Shepard's stories of Tuchanka, though, he would be able to get through. Not that I'd turn away a turian air support team drawing fire.

I heard screams cut short as Harbinger fired again, this time to my right. I kept going. The beam wasn't going anywhere, I kept my eye on where Harbinger would strike and made sure I wasn't in the line of fire. This may have been a suicide mission, but it needed to succeed first.

* * *

><p>Somehow, I made it to the beam. After a disorienting few minutes, I was in a part of the Citadel I'd never seen before: Dark, lots of human bodies in stacks. The Reapers were putting living and dead bodies in the beam, so this is where they must have been processed into Reapers, if that's what they were doing.<p>

I heard a grunt from my comm.

"Hello." I called into it.

"Ander...son." It was John, and by the sounds of it, he wasn't doing so well. The most I'd ever seen him injured was when Sovereign attacked the Citadel, and he'd only broken his arm. I could hear him gasping, blood in his mouth. But he was still alive.

I kept moving, keeping up with him over the comm. He must have come out in a different area, I didn't see him behind me.

I saw a glow of orange in front of me as the darkness gave way to bright silver. A chasm spanned the distance beside me, and from up above, I thought I could see some kind of control panel. Would that open the arms?

"Don't get too far ahead of me." I could hear the strain in John's voice as he walked. I wouldn't. If that was the control panel to open the station arms, then Hackett would take over. And I'd have a world-class view to watch the Reapers get blown out of the sky.

I made my way to the control panel, but just as I started to access it, I felt a...pressure in my right arm. It was rigid, like I had a massive weight attached to it.

_Dammit, not now. _I kept pushing, but my arm wasn't responding.

"Admiral...Anderson." I heard a stern voice behind me, but I couldn't move to see it. I only heard the firm footsteps of shoes, not boots. Someone who wasn't dressed for combat.

"Fascinating, isn't it." I saw a fancy, pin-striped suit and the side of a man's head as he stepped into my field of view. Dark hair, slightly going gray. The Illusive Man. He turned to face me. I'd seen some pretty horrific shit when the Reapers were on Earth, but the sight of that man's face, with whatever it was spiraling all around, It almost made me want to throw up.

"It all comes down to control, as it always has. Given sufficient will, control over anything is possible. A husk, a person. Even a Reaper can be moved by someone strong enough." I could feel something in my head, a chill of some kind. I reached for my gun, but my arms still wouldn't move.

"You're...indoctrinated."

"All you know is war, Admiral, when something needs to be killed, I'll listen. If it doesn't, then what good is a soldier? Except to show you what I can do." He looked towards me, and I could feel both of my arms being raised up. I wasn't doing it, he was controlling my body. He forced my right arm to salute him.

"Would you have ever done that normally? I have control. And with this control, humanity can finally be dominant over anything that could threaten it."

"You want humanity safe? Kill the Reapers, they threaten it!"

"Not if it can be repurposed."

"And...erson!" A gasping man's voice sounded from behind me. Shepard, still with the sound of blood in his mouth. The Illusive Man turned me around to face him. Shepard's powered armor was now just a blackened piece of slag, there was a lot of blood around his mouth. I'd seen people die from wounds half as severe.

"John." Calm as always, the Illusive Man greeted John.

"Only my friends...use my first name."

"I was hoping you would make it: I knew nothing would stop you from coming here. You're just in time."

"Yeah. The Reapers are about to be destroyed."

"Still short-sighted. I would have thought going to Sanctuary would offer you some insight. But what else should I expect?"

"You're a monster...I..." Shepard began to raise his gun, but then he started to lower it.

"What..." So the Illusive Man's control extended even to John.

"Now, do you understand? Control is possible."

"I'm not...a Reaper. You can't control them. They control you." The Illusive Man was two kinds of crazy, and he'd never listen if someone told him he was indoctrinated, even if it was John.

"No, I...I simply see the possibilities. Soldiers see only war, but I..."

"You don't want them dead. You don't want them stopped." Even critically injured as he was, John could still use his words. I'd watched him sway countless people to his side with just those.

"They are useful!" The Illusive Man was getting more enraged.

"This is how they work! They only care about self-preservation, you're keeping them alive." John continued to snake in his words.

"I can control them! Just like I can control you!" The Illusive Man had John raise up his gun, and point it straight at me.

_Bang. _I heard it fire, and a warm spreading feeling in my gut. I could see John's face, even controlled by the Illusive Man, react with horror. I fell to my knees.

"Don't you understand!"

"Don't you?" The shock from his face evaporated and John continued to talk. "How is this saving Earth? Didn't you pass the corpses on your way here? Humans are dying, and you're letting it happen. You're playing into their hands, and you know it."

"No, I...I'm saving humanity from everything. You think if the Reapers are destroyed, humanity will be safe? You think there's no one else who can be like Saren? Or the salarians, who created the genophage just because they were scared? Or the asari, who hid the Prothean beacon so they'd always have an edge? With the Reapers..."

"With the Reapers, we'd all be dead. You have a choice. Save humanity, kill the Reapers."

"I...I...I tried everything." I still couldn't move very well, but I could hear, perhaps for the first time, panic in the Illusive Man's voice.

"Don't let the Reapers speak to you. Fight for humanity, like you always have. The only thing that's your own." I could hear the Illusive Man gasping as he spoke to John.

"It's all I wanted, John." Then I heard another gunshot. But it wasn't from John, or from me. I heard a body thud to the ground. The Illusive Man...shot himself. John talked him down.

_Damn impressive, son. Damn good work. _I laughed, but I could feel blood in my mouth, so I couldn't make the sounds. I saw John move to the control panel, and the ward arms started to open.

I breathed out a cloud of blood. No chance for me, I could never get to a med facility in time, and I didn't have any medi-gel. Only thing I could do now was watch the Crucible, and I was fine with that. Fitting way to end my life, saving the galaxy.

* * *

><p>I heard John plop down beside me as I watched a Reaper capital ship get blown in two by three dreadnoughts.<p>

"We did it, Anderson."

"You did most of it." I clasped him on the shoulder, and I saw him smile. He was just as beaten up as I was, figured this was the end of the line for both of us. Hurt to see a man go out that young, but John was just as tired as I was, if not more so. Harsh realities all soldiers had to face.

"I'm proud of you, John." It was probably the first time I ever used his first name. He wasn't just the savior of the galaxy. He was...he was a son to me, a boy who weathered storm after storm to bring peace, at the expense of himself time and time again. He gave the resistance, and me, hope when we thought there wasn't.

"Anderson! Shepard! Are you there!" Admiral Hackett was speaking over the comm. "We've docked the Crucible, but it's not firing."

"I'm...I'm on it." John stood right back up. Wasn't fair, probably the first time I thought it. He never got the chance to sit down. Never had the chance to rest, or grieve for all the people he lost. He cared about his team, and I didn't see them with him. Given what I saw on Earth, I assumed the worst.

My last sight was John standing at the console, trying to figure out a way to start the Crucible. It would work, John would make it work. He knew of no other way.


	32. Kaidan Alenko: Last Call for a Friend

Pain. It felt like my entire body was on fire, and it may have been, at one point. I awoke on the cold, hard London pavement. The sky was overcast and dark, but only for a little bit, for it soon lit up. A magnificent cascade of red pierced the sky. It looked like it was moving...away from the planet, and I thought that was weird. It sort of looked like the lasers of the Reapers, but it wasn't.

I pulled myself up, uneasily getting my balance back. I could still move, and the mission wasn't complete. No time to waste just lying around. That huge Reaper, Harbinger was the name John said it was, was no longer around. Corpses of Reaper husks lie around me, the way to the beam was clear.

_John_! Where was John? I looked around and couldn't see him. I saw Garrus lying beside me, still moving, but not on his feet. I administered some dextro-based medi-gel on him.

"Hang on." I told him. I could always count on Garrus to have John's back, he stood beside him when no one else would. I think Garrus looked at me, but I wasn't sure if he saw me, he was still dazed.

_We were...we were shot at. By the Reaper, by a Sovereign-class Reaper with it's main gun. _It didn't reach us completely, but the impact was still close.

_John was ahead of us. He took point and..._Panic crept over me as I looked towards the beam. A huge scorch mark from Harbinger marred the entire street. Mako tanks were flipped over and lying on the street, corpses of husks and people both lie unmoving.

None of them looked like John. Or was that just hope mixed with a concussion and blood loss. Nothing was moving between me and the beam. John would have gone there, he'd never abandon a mission: Even death didn't stop him from defeating the Reapers.

I moved towards the beam. I didn't have time to look for the rest of the team: They were either here, where Garrus was, or they went through the beam: We'd finish the mission, or make sure it was being done.

Wasn't moving very fast, my legs felt like putty and I was using my biotics to keep my balance. Would probably get a massive migraine once this was finished. But after this, I think I'd take any excuse to rest and be off duty for a while. John and I still hadn't cracked open that bottle of TM88, even though we'd had plenty of it during our trips to the Citadel. It was waiting on the Normandy. Room temperature so the dusky aroma and heat wouldn't be muddled. No ice with that blend, just a calm, smooth burn.

Might have been stupid, holding out for just a drink, when I didn't even know where my mom went after Dad left her at the orchard. But her, I didn't know anything about: That bottle, I knew where it was. I knew it was waiting for me. I wasn't polishing it off that alone like some closet drunk. I'd only drink it with my best friend; my commander, even though I outranked him now.

_Faster. Must go faster. _That beam of red that pierced the sky was gone now, and I was hearing...sounds. Sounds of very large things exploding. I lifted my head up and saw one of the Reaper ships being targeted by an airstrike from turian fighters. Wasn't anything more than target practice for the Reaper, but...I watched it as I moved forward. The Reaper was...something was off about it. The turian fighters were bombarding it, and while it was fighting back, it was...not moving very fast, it's weapons were inaccurate. And just before I reached the beam, I saw it fall out of the sky and onto the ground. Too far away to feel anything, but, through the ringing in my ears, I heard it explode.

Maybe it was just weakened from previous fighting but...it was a damn good sight to see. I had almost reached the beam when I saw it was started to weaken. Before I could get too close, it completely faded. I waved my hand where the beam was, and nothing. No transport to the Citadel, where Anderson had said it was supposed to go.

_Now what? _What happened now? Did that mean the Reapers were stopped, or did they seal off the beam because of our mission? Did John make it there? So many questions, and my head was spinning. Not a good thing for someone who could barely walk, I fell to my knees.

My foot brushed against something, and I looked down to see it. It was a body, a person. Powered armor completely burned, nothing more than a blackened husk. Just a small N7 logo on the chest.

_N7. _I took a look at the body. The eyes were shut, and the face was covered in soot, but it was John. Unmoving, unconscious.

_Get him. _I wouldn't allow him to just lie there, he needed to get to a hospital. I grabbed John, and pulled him up. He didn't make any movements, but didn't resist, and with my biotics, it wasn't too difficult. I wrapped an arm around his waist, slick with his blood, threw his around my shoulder, and took a step away. I had no clue where the hell I was supposed to take him, and my legs still could barely move. But there was no way I was just leaving him there.

_Stay with me, John. You died once already, and maybe you don't remember, but it was hell. _One step, then another. I kept walking. I heard the unmistakable sound of husks. I looked to my left and saw a pair of them running towards us. I pointed my hand towards them and tried to muster out what biotic force I could to push them away. And it barely caused them to stagger, weakest they'd ever been. They were weaker when your vital and neurological signs were weaker: That wasn't a good sign. They kept coming, closer. I tried again, and they staggered more as I felt my nose start to bleed. But it didn't knock them down, and I could hear their unmistakable wheezing as they relentlessly moved forward.

I activated my omni-blade, but there was no way I could get two of them at the same time: I could barely stand up.

The chance never came for me to use it: The first husk was obliterated in a explosion of blue, and a force propelled me and John both to the ground. A concussive round, massive force, almost as much as my biotics. But the second husk kept moving, and soon I could see it overtop of me, reaching down in order to grapple me. That was how they worked, close quarters. They swarmed and ripped to shreds.

I tried to push my omni-blade forward, using whatever biotic power I had left for more force. I couldn't even feel my legs now, I don't know how I was going to get John to safety. Maybe the concussive shooter could get him someplace.

I felt a warm splash as I pushed my omni-blade in, then I felt something splatter across my face as the husk's head blew to pieces.

A risky shot, it could have easily ripped through the husk and hit me: My kinetic barriers were gone at this point. But it wouldn't have hit John, and someone, maybe Garrus with his sniping, Kirrahe knew his way around a rifle too, if Garrus wasn't up and moving. Or maybe it was Wrex with a shotgun. They were all close by. Whoever it was, someone would make sure the unconscious John got where he needed to go.

John could see the world he fought so hard to create. And I helped him: I didn't turn my back on him this time. That was good. Now I could finally lay down. My nose continued to bleed as I shut my eyes.


	33. John Shepard: The Return

It was a scene I'd seen time and time again, always in my nightmares. No matter how tired I was, or how much whiskey I drank, I always seemed to end up here. A barren, dark plain with skeletal trees, no grass. A lone, empty bench, illuminated by an unseen light.

That wasn't so bad, it was the whispers that pulled me from my nightmares. Every night they returned.

"John..." Breathy and formless, shadows that seemed just out of reach, but I could hear them. They said things I knew, had the voices of people that I knew. People who weren't around, thanks to the Reapers.

_No. Thanks to me. _I never asked for any of the deaths, but that was no excuse. I led them to it.

"Not guilty, responsible." I heard Mordin's voice echo just behind my ear. I quickly turned my head and thought I saw a shadow in the shape of Mordin's truncated horn. I reached for it, and it dissolved into formless smoke.

_Dammit, why do I keep falling for that? _If it wasn't Mordin, it was someone else. Someone else I got killed, calling to me. And I reached for them and never grabbed them. Did I think I could pull Mordin from that elevator? This was a dream, it's not like Mordin would be back downstairs in the medlab singing some patter song when I woke up. He died on Tuchanka, no matter how much I hated it.

I didn't see the little boy anymore. I didn't see him burst into flames. It was just me and the shadows now. I was tired of chasing him anyway, tired of constantly hearing the dead. Anderson was dead. now He kept his ass alive on a Reaper-controlled hell only to have me shoot him in the gut and bleed out right in front of me. Dead was dead, good way to go or not. Just like Jack said.

Why couldn't I resist the Illusive Man? I blew the shit out of that Collector base, I knew how to defy him no matter what crazy technology he had. Reaper tech? I slaughtered Cerberus husk-soldiers by the dozens, fat lot of good it did them. And now, one of the galaxy's best soldiers, a real father to me ever since mine was killed by the batarians, was a shadow to haunt my never-ending nightmare.

_I'm sorry. _I may have saved the galaxy and activated the Crucible. I trusted that I put the galaxy's best minds on it, they knew this tech stuff better than I did. Whatever it did, it would work. And the galaxy could do the rest. I did everything I could. I still couldn't save so many people. So many friends.

"Every one of your accomplishments is due to your skill." I could hear Miranda now. Some skill I had: I couldn't save her, and she was the perfect human. Just like Anderson, she bled out, only she was in my arms and I felt her go. Even Tali respected her. I could have used her against the Reapers, and afterwards, when the Reapers were gone. We need a new Councilor after Udina died; Osoba was just a temporary measure. Now there were other soldiers dead because we didn't have a good leader to coordinate. My fault, yet again.

"When the soul is burdened by guilt or pain, it becomes detached. The person is not whole." Thane's philosophies echoed in his husky voice. He had sent me an extranet message saying he thought Kaidan had been the same way about Mars and Horizon, pained by guilt. Did he think that about me now? Of course not, because he died protecting Councilor Valern. Why didn't I just shoot the bastard when Thane had him distracted? Don't give in to revenge or anger, but gun down the dangerous, the monsters. It was clear-cut, no room for hesitation. That's what got people like Thane killed.

I looked at that bench again. I could feel cold all over my body, and wet, as if it was raining. It was tempting to lie on it, and sleep. Sleep for a long time. If sleeping brought me here, sleeping here would take me somewhere else. Where I didn't have to hear all the whispers, have to know what I did to fail them.

But I couldn't move towards the bench. My arms would not grab it, my legs wouldn't step towards it. My vision went dark for a second, I felt another chill, spreading all around my body.

"Kalihira, Mistress of inscrutable depths, grant him peace and forgiveness for his sins." A prayer. I remember Thane recording it in his holo for Kolyat. He said one for me just before he died, although Kolyat and I had to finish it for him. How could I be forgiven for shooting Anderson?

"Shepard-Commander is asking questions to which he already knows the answer." I could hear Legion's tinny voice respond to my thoughts. An organic attribute, Legion had said, though EDI picked up on it and integrated it seamlessly. He said it when I had him remember that we were a team, and teammates trusted each other.

How could I know the answer to that? Because Anderson did? I knew what he'd say, that I didn't pull that trigger, I was forced. I might have even compared it to Thane's body and soul philosophy. That I managed to keep it together to still talk the Illusive Man down and activate the Crucible.

"I'm...proud of you, son." Those last words. They did make me smile when I heard them, even though I knew the two of us were dying. I'd heard it a lot, but...from him, it made me feel like I was still on Mindoir, an eternity ago, being thanked for my sharpshooting taking out a wild varren or some other animal.

My vision cleared again, and I was still looking at that bench. I was still dead tired, burned out, a withered shell, but...I had to move on. Just like Jack on Pragia, I just wanted to stop coming back to this place.

"Wake up, John." Miranda's voice was firm. In that commanding tone when she said it, when the Cerberus lab that rebuilt me was attacked by the mechs.

"It's the right choice, and you know it." Ash's sharp commands quickly followed. To this day, I still wondered, back when I heard it from my comm, was she saying that to Kaidan, or to me? Yeah, it was. I wasn't about to lay down. I may have been tired as hell of everything, but that was something Commander Shepard didn't do. And that was who I was.

"We judged you would understand." I walked away from the bench as I heard Legion again. The wispy shadows all around still kept their distance, but I could walk away from that bench. Their shapes were still indistinct, but they were vaguely human-like. I saw salutes, the ones Jacob would always give without saying much.

My vision started to turn from the shadowy landscape. No fires, like what normally woke me up from the nightmare, just a soft light that got steadily brighter. It took the chill away, and I staggered towards it. I saw faces again, my crew, my friends. When I died, it broke them. I couldn't just lay down and do it to them: The living and the dead, they both did immeasurable things for me, that I may never have asked for. But I...they all did it because they believed in me. Admiral Hackett had told me so, and I believed it. Charged into hell because I asked them to, they believed I'd get it done.

That kind of leader...didn't just lay down. I would lay down my life for my crew, but I couldn't just give up on everything they wanted to accomplish. I had always been there for my crew, open-door policy. Now...they were there for me.

The last voice I heard was Mordin again, and I could feel that smile behind me. I didn't have to look and reach this time.

"Someone else might have gotten it wrong."


	34. John Shepard: Epilogue

My vision was still very hazy, but I could make out a wall. Or rather, the wall of a tent. Dark, slightly olive green. I wasn't in any pain, but it was very difficult to move, my entire body felt heavy and sluggish. Painkillers, sedatives. The type that made sure anxious soldiers ready to get back on the front lines didn't go anywhere. No chance of me getting out of that bed yet, so I waited. Waited for my vision to become clearer. I didn't hear anyone

"Hello." My voice was dry and cracked, but I was able to speak.

"John. Hello." A simple voice replied. It was female, but my head was still swimming, so I couldn't make out who it was. It came to my right, and I tried to tilt my body towards her.

"Where am I?" I asked as I tried to move.

"You are in a Cerberus holding facility. Tests will be imminent now that you are conscious."

"What!" I tried to move, but I still could barely lift my arms.

"That was a joke." The female voice continued, and now I could recognize it. I finally had my body tilted enough to see EDI's infiltration unit looking at me.

"You suck, EDI."

"Your vital signs and neurological signs are in no danger. I knew you could handle a joke."

"Wait, EDI? What happened, I thought the Crucible..." Maybe the blood loss triggered my own sort of crazy memories, but I thought activating the Crucible would destroy all of synthetic life. It wasn't my first idea of a solution, but dead Reapers were the only way I was going to save this galaxy.

"The scientists working on the Crucible determined that it was capable of emitting large quantities of energy that could be also be transmitted through the mass relay network. Due to samples of Reapers recovered from Cerberus, Sovereign, Tuchanka, and Rannoch, we were able to modify it and have it selectively target the Reapers, leaving others to be unaffected. Once the Crucible activated, it overloaded and shut down many of the Reapers's systems. Kinetic barriers were offline, weapons were weakened, mass effect fields could not be sustained. Admiral Hackett destroyed the Reapers in space, and Major Coates took command of ground forces to destroy any remaining Reapers on the ground. You have been unconscious for an entire week while this unfolded."

"It just affected the Reapers? Not you?" When I made the decision to activate the Crucible, I thought it would mean EDI would die. She was synthetic, synthetics would be destroyed. Another painful cross to bear. But here she was, standing before me. Did I dream the whole thing?

"This was anticipated due to the Reaper technology both myself and the geth used in their upgrades. Doctor Gavin Archer offered to find a way to fix the problem and interfaced with the geth consensus. He worked with the geth engineers in order to tweak the Crucible's energy, preventing it from fully affecting them. The efforts of their work determined that the geth only suffered a ten percent decrease in their processing capabilities, which the consensus deemed an acceptable sacrifice. Admiral Xen was eager to determine how exactly the geth were affected, but they insisted there was no additional data could be gathered from her...dissections. As for myself, I only suffered an eight percent decrease." I laughed.

"Good...Good...You said it went through the mass relays..." I'd lost enough people as it was: I didn't need another dear friend, and the genocide of an entire race, piled onto my soul some more. Doctor Archer did that? Now I had to forgive him.

"Correct, although the relays themselves seem unaffected. To be cautious, relay traffic is restricted, only a few ships travel at a time. Did you believe they would be destroyed, John?" Maybe, maybe not. It didn't matter at this point.

"Where is...where is everyone?"

"Most of your crew is not here." I had more feeling in my legs, so I pushed the blanket off of my body and tried to stand up. I needed to go find them. Say thank you, one last time, before we went our separate ways. But I didn't like EDI's choice of words.

"Lieutenant Vega had taken the rear guard position during our charge to the beam with Dr. T'Soni and Tali. He was barely injured by the attack. Because he was in peak condition, he was asked to coordinate an assault to eliminate the remaining Reaper forces on Thessia and Palaven. He mentioned that he would enjoy a world full of, quote, "grateful blue senoritas." I have sent him a message on your recovery as we were speaking. Liara did not leave Earth, but a shortage of doctors has her providing what assistance she can to the wounded. Tali suffered a suit rupture and is currently in a sterile facility. She will only be allowed to leave when she recovers."

Even under the sedatives, I felt lighter as I tried to push myself off of the bed. I only managed to get myself seated upright.

"There is a turian medical facility not far from here where Garrus is recuperating, his injuries were more serious. A survivor from the Citadel, Doctor Chloe Michel, is attending to him." I laughed again. Tough bastard, that was for sure. I wasn't about to have him watching me from turian heaven. We had vids of this to make, and royalties to collect. I counted on my fingers...there was only one person missing.

"How's Kaidan doing?" I asked EDI. She didn't answer at first. Even through the painkillers, I could feel the chill from her silence.

"Major Alenko suffered the worst injuries. He pushed himself to recover you and attempted to bring you to a hospital before collapsing. He did not apply any medi-gel while doing this." EDI's words were echoing in my mind. What happened to Kaidan?

"Please, EDI...Is Kaidan alive?" I heard a loud thump, and thought it was just my heart. And it sounded again. And again. And that thump was followed by a footstep. I hung my head backwards to see behind me.

Upside down, I saw a face. Black hair, brown eyes. But the same voice.

"Welcome back, John." Kaidan's beaten up, scarred face looked down with the same smile. EDI mentioned that the damage was severe, it showed: I could see lines from cybernetics being installed in his face. He also needed retrofit to a newer biotic amp model, to avoid permanent neurological damage, according to EDI. Carried a huge risk, but he seemed no worse for wear, and he was now an L4, like the kids at Grissom. The tapping sound was a cane he was using for balance. Just a temporary measure, he said. Not sure if I believed it, he had a hard time walking.

But he was still kicking. I kept my team alive. High-risk, highly dangerous mission that my team volunteered to join me on, and I kept them safe from harm. We beat the Reapers, saved the galaxy, because of that.

It was a damn good thing I was sitting, otherwise I might have fell to my knees and cried. That would have been embarrassing.

* * *

><p>I wasn't released until two weeks later, and I was ready to get out of that damn bed. I flew from London to Rio, down by the beach. Reapers went after heavily populated centers, so the city in the background wasn't great, but near the beach, the damage had been cleaned up.<p>

I helped Kaidan out of the shuttle: He still carried that cane, and limped a bit, even with the cloned tissue healing his leg. Maybe it was a side-effect of the retrofit, maybe it was psychological. I'd prefer a limping friend to a dead one.

"This is a nice place." Jacob had mentioned he knew a nice little place down in Rio, a good bar. Don't know if this was the same one, but it would have to do. I still saw Jacob, Miranda, and everyone else. Sometimes, but not all the time. Whiskey didn't need to drown them out.

Beside me, Garrus only nodded. Jacob must have told him about Rio too.

Seated at the bar, still wearing her hood, Kasumi Goto waved to me. I had tried to get in contact with everyone. The few I got a hold of, those that were still on Earth. I told them to meet me here. Even in peacetime, I still drew people to me.

"Hey there, Shep. Glad you could come." I handled introductions for Kaidan.

"Now, I seem to remember saying the first round was on me." She smiled as she ordered us a round of sake. Wasn't my first choice of drink, but I'd drink it.

"Save one for me." A gruff voice pulled up to the bar as Zaeed Massini took his seat next to us. I wasn't surprised he made it through: He always did. He saved Din Korlack, though, when he had the chance, when he could have just let him die: Guess even old dogs learned new tricks.

Like moths to the fire, I began to see remembers of my team again. Steve Cortez, who looked just fine after that crash, settled right into shots of tequila with limes. Never did get any good tequila on board. Joker, with EDI in tow, quickly followed. Jack, not with her students, guzzled down an entire bottle of rum. It made my stomach churn, and I once had ryncol. Tali joked with us, and I made sure she didn't drink too much: Joker could break a rib laughing from that; while Liara and Samantha Traynor played a game of chess. Major Kirrahe was going to play the winner, Never thought he'd be a good player, but salarians, they thought quick as hell.

Not everyone could come: Wrex had to get back to Tuchanka, Eve, or Bakara, still had a hard time remembering that was her name, was about to give birth to Urdnot Mordin. The genophage may have been cured, but krogan still suffered the Rite of Life, and this was Wrex's child. Grunt had gone back with him. James was still ensuring Thessia and Palaven were free of Reaper forces: I suppose it could be considered N7 training. I hadn't heard a word from Samara, but I knew she wasn't gone: The only thing that stopped her was Kaidan, and he was right beside me.

But I was glad to have this, at least. Cortez laughed as Traynor took one of Liara's bishops. Zaeed launched into a contest of stories with Garrus.

I motioned for another glass, and tried to remember one of Ash's poems as I traced my finger around the rim. She liked poetry with her booze. But Tennyson's poems were darker, mostly with the death of a friend. I already had enough of that reminding me of her, Legion's choice to upgrade the geth like Ashley's decision to activate that nuke. And Kaidan, standing between me and Udina, with me about to sacrifice the very thing she gave her life to save.

"Wonder what the plan is next, John? Still going to consult for Blasto?" Kaidan, right beside me, asked. In the end, I didn't pull that trigger. He stepped out of the way. Wondered if he heard Ash's voice when we were staring at gunpoint too.

"Right now, everyone's doing reconstruction: I plan to spend the next three months in a drunken haze and when it wears off, we'll see."

"Sounds like a good plan. I think I'm going to take my mother to Ilium: She needs a vacation after this. Never went off planet, best way to start." We clinked glasses and knocked back our shots together. I didn't even remember Horizon anymore, or Jump Station, or any of the words. Bury it, I said, we did more than that. War against the Reapers was three years in the making and it took a lot out of me. It gave me things, but it took more than it gave. Kaidan was probably the one thing I lost I managed to get back.

Another round for us, as Tali filtered her brandy and we talked more. My thoughts and words were muddled now thanks to the booze, but I did know I was where I wanted to be.


End file.
